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Are you more of a "truster" or "faither" or "beliefer"? What do these even mean? TLDR Summary Individual belief : Rely upon what one personally thinks as true or not true. Organized faith : Rely upon what one's group declares as true or untrue. Dynamic trust : Rely upon continual interactions to accountably improve awareness. beliefer faither truster FOCUS guard self, avoid pain, relieve pain address what group declares as important properly resolve needs, reach full potential FEATURES low to no engagement socially approved engagement high engagement CERTAINTY low tolerance of ambiguity, craves certainty tolerance by consensus, prefers shared certainty high tolerance of ambiguity, embraces discovery MATURITY low maturity, not at full functioning capacity modest maturity, reach more of one's capacity high maturity, reaching much of full capacity CONTENTS Unpacking these three reliance levels Different realms in epistemic reliance Moral development levels Preconventional beliefers Conventional faithers Postconventional trusters Further distinctions Engagement Certainty Maturity Prioritizing In spiritual expression Beliefer believers Faither flock Truster testers Reactive to pain or responsive to needs Grace and understanding Takeaway Unpacking these three reliance levels Anankelogy , the discipline study of need, recognizes how not all “believing” or epistemic reliance is the same. Dependence on whatever one finds true or untrue mirrors the three levels of moral development.   Consider Kohlberg ’s three main levels of moral development . Preconventional . Moral reasoning relies on avoidance of punishment and seeking rewards. It tends to be egocentric. Conventional . Moral reasoning relies on social norms, as agreed upon by the collective of one’s social universe. It tends toward social conformity. Postconventional . Moral reasoning relies on universal principles that can transcend individuals and cultures. It tends to lead toward human flourishing.    These reliance levels, or "reliability taxonomy", mirror Kohlberg’s three levels. Beliefing . Guarding what one thinks as true or untrue, and typically defensive toward any challenge of such views. It too tends to be egocentric. “ Beliefer ”. Those who defensively guard what they hold as true, while avoiding relating to details that could disconfirm their conclusions. Trusts generalizations as an end. Faithing . Accept as true or untrue based largely on social cues, such as what one’s group accepts as true and untrue. Also tends toward social conformity. “ Faither ”. Those who hold as true and dependable what others in their tribe or social circles also hold as true and dependable. Shares generalizations as an end. Trusting . Vulnerably relying on the most dependable over which one has no control, such as a Supreme Being, while ready to question whatever can be found as not fully dependable. It likewise points toward human flourishing. “ Truster ”. Those who humbly rely upon what they encounter as more trustworthy, while exposing what they think is temporally true to helpful critique and correction. Besides universal principles, uses generalizations as a starting point to explore further.   These levels also mirror the levels of functionality . Trusters tend to sustain peakfunctionality , as they cultivate ways to relate to others and themselves in ways that enable them to promptly resolve their needs. Faithers gravitate into symfunctionality , as they primarily ease their needs according to the accepted social norms guiding their understanding and behavior. Beliefers risk descending into dysfunctionality . as they cope with pain from unresolved needs, and cling to oversimplified conclusions that work against resolving needs.   Anankelogy unpacks how we rely on others, or how we have confidence in what we think as true or untrue, in different areas of our lives. Different realms in epistemic reliance These apply in different realms. One could be a truster in their role as a spiritual leader in a faith tradition. Then be a faither in their political ideology, going along with other partisans. While being an adamant beliefer in the criminal judicial system, avoiding its disconcerting imperfections. It's more likely, perhaps, that one would gravitate to just one of these three levels in all realms in their life. The more mature with wisdom would gravitate toward being a truster . The less mature and unwise would slide toward being a beliefer . Moral development levels These three epistemic reliance levels mirror Lawrence Kohlberg's levels of moral development. Preconventional beliefers FOCUS . The beliefer tends to focus mostly upon the self . A list of unresolved needs prompts so much emotional pain that they tend to become self-absorbed. For example, the alcoholic (or shopaholic drug addict, sex addict) typically cling to their beliefs that offer the quickest relief. Which can be far from the actual truth. FEATURES . The beliefer defensively guards what they think is true or untrue, actively resisting critique, For example, when pseudoscience aficionados denounce any helpful critique. As they identify with their ungrounded beliefs, any critique feels like a personal attack on them. CERTAINTY . The beliefer typically demonstrates a low tolerance for ambiguity. Their high level of emotional pain, from unresolved needs, prompts them to crave certainty. For example, an extremist political activist feels their ideological views must be right. They simply cannot afford any room to doubt their political convictions or biases. MATURITY . A beliefer is likely dysfunctional . They typically prioritize relieving the pain of their many unmet needs. Which hinders their personal development. For example, the self-righteous partisan depends on their underdeveloped view of the world. Dissenters fit neatly into their overgeneralized category as the "bad" people. Conventional faithers FOCUS . The faither  tends to focus more upon the social realm . What they rely upon as true is best confirmed by others in their social groups. For example, the devoted partisan of any political party finds assurance when others of similar views affirm their beliefs. This can be a good thing, when fellow partisans they trust have carefully examined their views. But can also be a case of the blind leading the blind. FEATURES . The faither  gravitates towards what others in their group find reliable. They often evade critique from others outside of their group. Groupthink abounds. For example, the guilt-ridden churchgoer assumes we all fail at times to make responsible moral choices. Then regards as too liberal to admit the times we can be stuck with poor quality options. Which pulls us into symfunctionality . CERTAINTY . The faither  craves shared certainty over putting up with any ambiguity. Some uncertainty can be endured when shared with others in their groups. Otherwise, any doubt feels like a sin. For example, litigants in a court battle may cling to what they find familiar, as they both sink into mutual defensiveness. Which limits their scope. The less aware in their legalist myopia, the further they slide uncontrollably into the abyss of symfunction capture . MATURITY . A faither is primarily symfunctional . They tend to prioritize easing their needs in ways that never fully resolve such needs. For example, ethnocentric club members who oppose outsiders grow accustomed to never fully resolving their needs. And likely blame their emotional pain on outsiders. Postconventional trusters FOCUS . The truster  tends to focus primarily upon deeper unity . What they hold as true points to universal principles unshakable in any circumstance. For example, the deeply spiritual person relies more on principles like humility , empathy , grace and love . They intuitively realize how applying such principles will almost always result in more resolved needs, more wellness and less pain. FEATURES . The truster  humbly relies on trustworthy others. They invite their helpful critique. They know the limits imposed by their own biases. They remain open to learning. For example, the effective investigator relies on tools to check their biases, and their untested assumptions. They will be slow to act on beliefs they have little to no evidence to support. CERTAINTY . The truster  demonstrates high tolerance for ambiguity. They promptly embrace pain to identify what threat prompts such a painful warning. Then they remove the threat, or themselves, which faithfully removes such pain. For example, the martial artist flows through space like water. They quickly note the movement of others. They rapidly move through the air with sharpened intent. Contact with a foe bounces of a deeper reality. They move toward their pain and embrace it. They face any discomfort honestly, and let it go. Pain is not a foe but a fleeting gift. MATURITY . A truster may reach peakfunctionality . They will prioritize properly resolving needs . Which enables them to promptly restore wellbeing and remove pain. Not only for themselves, but potentially also for others. For example, a spiritual guru regards the needs of others as equally important if not more so than their own. They shape their life to avoid negatively impacting others. They encourage and even inspire all to reach more of their full potential. Further distinctions Engagement Beliefers rarely engage, and instead often barricade themselves inside a cocoon of presumed safety.   Faithers rarely engage on a personal level, preferring to follow group leaders who do the risky engaging first.   Trusters more openly engage, and risk the unknown, as they endure the discomfort for the likely reward of spiritual growth.   Certainty Beliefers crave certainty. They present a low tolerance for ambiguity. Faithers share uncertainty. They present a low to high tolerance of ambiguity.   Trusters embrace uncertainty. They present a high tolerance for ambiguity.   Like Socrates, they are judiciously agnostic to remain open to learning. Trusters welcome disconfirming information. They welcome the discipline of not acting on their own unchecked biases. Maturity Beliefer  - nothing else matters to consider; haughtiness, ambiguity intolerance, avoid exposing vulnerabilities. Faither - other matters to consider but can't be relevant; impression managed humble front, certainty with group, myth following. Truster  - other matters to consider that could be relevant; humility, grace, honesty. Prioritizing Beliefers prioritize the self. "My needs matter more than your needs." "My wellbeing matters more than your wellbeing." "My beliefs and feelings matters for than your beliefs and feelings." Faithers prioritize the group. "Our needs matter more than their needs." "Our wellbeing matters more than their wellbeing." "Our beliefs and feelings matters for than their beliefs and feelings." Trusters prioritize all humanity equally. "No one's needs matter more than anyone else's needs." "No one's wellbeing matters more than anyone else's wellbeing." "No one's beliefs and feelings matter more than anyone else's beliefs and feelings." In spiritual expression Beliefer believers Beliefers can recall a deep spiritual experience they once had, but tend to credit it to their beliefs (what they hold as true or not). They may have actually experienced a moment of vulnerable trust they found rewarding, but misinterpret the degree of their own agency. For example, a neophyte Christian verbally credits their "born again" experience to citing the sinner's prayer to God, or to Jesus, and regards their choice of words and parochial attitude as playing a significant or central role in their conversion experience. Such beliefers gravitate toward dogmatic views. For them, things must be a certain way in order to get back to that rewarding experience. Right and wrong are categorized into simple terms. Nuance can be seen as risking appeasement, or slipping into illicit compromises. For example, that new Christian may guard traditional gender norms as absolute in order to remain in the good graces of a wrathful God. To socially mingle with others who defy such norms risks watering down God's "truth" and then backsliding . Such beliefers may cling to their religiosity and reasoning skills to cope with the mounting pain of their unresolved needs. They tend to prefer familiar pain over the unknown pain of challenging spiritual growth. For example, the young Christian interprets salvation as a way to escape intensifying emotional pain. Instead of recognizing how such pain warns of unmet needs, they become viscerally attached to the familiarity of how they handle these painful emotions. Faither flock Faithers interpret their spiritual experiences through the lens of similar others and group consensus. Fluid spiritual experiences readily congeal into religious dogma. For example, a recent convert looks to earlier converts to get some bearing. They may dismiss their skepticism as not knowing enough yet to assess the group's views. The more satisfied with the group while seeking belonging, the less they assert their individuality. Critical thinking can take a back step to save room for group cohesion. Some faithers rise to a role of lay leader or even a top position such as a head pastor, priest, iman, or rabbi, and (knowingly or unknowingly) exploit the beliefers in their midst. Often from a "democratic" mindset of attracting followers by appealing to lowest common denominator instincts. For example, an imam tries to inspire the faithful to fully appreciate tawheed in their spiritual lives, but many take this oneness of God as a shared cognitive belief and miss vulnerably relying upon God alone for what they specifically need right now. Many faithers gravitate toward sharing a consensus of what matters most to them. They champion the conventional norms of their faith tradition, while not sure what to do with the more unconventional practices or principles espoused in their scriptures or traditions. For example, as the adherent of a cult identifies more with its dogma, they may rely on the group's support in opposing those outside the group with contrary views. They feel special in a way they likely never felt before. Faithers who remain socially and intimately connected to trusters can evidence more cognitive and spiritual maturity than faithers tapped only into other faithers . Crowdsourced wisdom works best when fueled with a source of accountable wisdom, and not left to the devices of groupthink. For example, a priest at a local parish may provide needed perspective to those new to the faith. He may inspire his flock to empathize with non-Catholics. To not judge others, and to maintain the wisdom of learning from others in humility. Truster testers Trusters  entertain the possibility that much of what they assumed as true is not so true. Not that they swing to the opposite extreme of assuming it all must be false, but to stay open to exploring nuanced details previously overlooked. For example, the maturing Daoist lives the opening verse of the Tao Te Ching , "The Way that can be described is not the eternal Way". They stay open to improving their awareness. Not for the sake of mere knowledge, but to tap into the fullness of life. Trusters rely less on things, like doctrines, and focus more on the innate value of people. They demonstrate the supremacy of love , of honoring the needs of others as one's own. For example, the evangelical missionary shares the love she experienced with her trust in God. If that requires her to drop her familiar messaging norms to adopt local cultural tropes, then so be it. The connection means more than insisting on cultural familiarity. Such trusters  tend to be interspiritual . They typically remain independent of any single faith tradition, as they draw from all spiritual wisdom. They may be misinterpreted by faithers as people-pleasing chameleons. Thy prioritize deep connection over social cohesion. For example, an imam can tap into the Jewish wisdom of "wrestling with God" to find deeper truths, while applying Buddhist teachings about the Middle Way, then capture a Christian understanding of personal sacrifice for others. All while remaining true to the core tenants of Islam. Spiritually mature trusters  respond more than react to challenges in life. They turn such challenges into opportunities for growth, for maturity, and for creating shared value. For example, an interspiritual Sikh can absorb the harsh judgments from a beliefer Hindu while also not reacting to an inconsiderate faither Muslim. They will look for some way to identify and relate to their inflexible needs . They will bee sure not to add to their problems. They will try to turn the challenge into opportunity for shared development. React to pain or respond to needs Love remains the ideal of honoring the needs of others as one's own . Beliefers are often too self-absorbed to positively regard the needs of others. Many beliefers improperly or properly relieve the pain of their many unmet needs . They slip into dysfunction . Faithers gravitate toward social conformity. Hence, many faithers improperly or properly ease their needs without fully resolving them. Which pulls them in a state of symfunctionality . Trusters are in a better position to properly resolve needs . The more their own needs fully resolve, the easier to regard the needs of others. They reach moments of peakfunctionality . REACT   or   RESPOND Now visualize a continuum of beliefers who primarily REACT to the pain of unmet needs to trusters who effectively RESPOND and resolve needs to remove the pain. Beliefers and many faithers can be characterized as REACTIVISTS. They habitually give kneejerk reactions to problems. They tend to overgeneralize their situations, avoid any discomfort, as they gravitate toward indulgent side-taking . For example, reactivists  use labels like terrorist or militant without context of asymmetrical blowback or negatively impacted inflexible needs . They're beliefers   or maybe faithers . They easily drift into warmongering that feeds the military industrial complex. They champion the path to hostilities and mutual defensiveness, easily sinking into hate and war. Pain begets more pain. Trusters and some faithers  can be characterized as RESPONSIVISTS. They routinely respond thoughtfully to the needs around them, without imposing their own. They see the relevant nuance in situations, embrace any discomfort that warns of threats, as they step beyond self-serving adversarialism to mutually understand and respect each other's needs. For example, responsivists recognize the urgency of the affected needs of so-called terrorists or militants, while ready to challenge or condemn the reactive violence that spring from desperately trying to redress such needs with force. They're trusters . They support all affected to return to thriving, to human flourishing, where any use of force is limited and a last resort. They champion the path to meaningful peace and love . Grace and understanding   Grace exists as that universal principle of meeting you where you’re honestly at. If you honestly fit these less than laudable descriptions of a beliefer  or a faither , then you need not be shamed for it.   Life has put you in a dreadful spot where your options to fully resolve needs often gets limited. As a natural consequence, you cannot function to your full potential.   In other words, you must resort what you find available. You prefer to take table crumbs than nothing at all.   If painfully isolated from others, you understandably gravitate toward relying on what you can individually think as true or not. If surrounded by similar others whose view resonate with your experiences, then you understandably rely on what your group holds as true.   If you rely upon continual engagement of what you can perceive, and welcome accountability for what you think is true or untrue, then you might feel quite different from most of those around you. “Wide is the gate” for beliefers and faithers .   With anankelogy  recognizing the object fact of natural needs , we can do better to understand each other. To appreciate where each other is at, with grace. And then to love  others by honoring their needs as our own—even if they do not reciprocate.   Awareness of being valued for who you honestly are is worth far more than mere knowledge about things. Let this wisdom inspire you to be loved and give more love. We all need love. Takeaway Belief :  Rely upon what one personally thinks as true or not true. Prone to much error, which easily prompts more emotional pain. Faith :  Rely upon what one's group declares as true or untrue. Vulnerable to groupthink, which can steer them toward quiet desperation. Trust :  Rely upon continual interactions to accountably improve awareness. Risks indecision if not cultivated wisely.

Nature insists on filling a void. Including the many voids within ourselves. And those voids between others and oneself, prompting intimacy. Gender serves as a key dynamic nature uses to compel us toward balance. Author-created animated GIF: click on this GIF to see a still image of it below Which do you generally find most agreeable? Gender differences are all socially constructed. OR Gender differences are created by God. OR Gender organizes our outward and inward attention to attend to our needs. When I came out as trans in the early 1990s, there were still lively discussions about the cause or etiology of transgenderism. What would make someone born in one gender to seek to be the other gender? One idea arose suggesting this could be a gift. Instead of feeling ashamed for not fitting into gender norms, perhaps nature or even God compelled the trans person to move beyond stifling gender norms. That the trans phenomenon was nature's way of filling a void. That idea was swatted down. It seemed to assert trans people are special, when many on the right were complaining how LGBTQ+ people wanted special rights. Other trans folks keep this notion alive , but the dominant narrative emerged that the reason for feeling compelled to transcend one's birth ascribed gender was because of having a different gender identity. I went along with the ride, for survival. But it never fit me fully. You see, at the same time, I was also embracing my indigenous heritage and "Native American" spirituality. Interpreted words did not matter as much as the power of nature to resolve needs. Spirituality as a force of nature For a moment, I flirted with the idea of identifying myself as two-spirit . But that did not fit either. Instead, I now see myself as a " transspirit ": spiritually compelled to transcend stifling norms in order to connect more deeply with life's full potential . This covers not only gender norms but any socially constructed norm congealing into barriers to fully resolving needs. It could be characterized as interspiritual , transcending religious beliefs that compromise full spiritual connection. Yes, think of being trans as spiritual . Wherever social norms impede full spiritual growth, nature compels some to transcend those barriers. Gender perhaps is simply the most salient aspect of this phenomenon. Gender organizes aspects we regard as more masculine or more feminine. Gender differences begin around a seed of natural complementary distinctions. The less mature we become, those subtle differences can solidify into rigid barriers to mature spiritual growth. Gender balancing act Think of the trans experience as countering this imposing solidification of gender norms, and then returning us to reach more of our full potential. What starts with gender drives much deeper into the full spectrum of life. Let's look at a series of complementary gender traits and how they can slip into conflicting extremes. Then see how the trans thing spiritually compels balance to optimize both gender-associated traits. (Click the 'GO' after each listed pairing to dive deeper.) Balancing masculine rationality with feminine emotionality [ GO )] Balancing masculine objectivity with feminine subjectivity [ GO ) Balancing masculine protection with feminine nurturance [ GO ) Balancing masculine independence with feminine dependence [ GO ) Balancing masculine competition with feminine cooperation [ GO ) Balancing masculine riskiness with feminine caution [ GO ) Balancing masculine aggression with feminine passivity [ GO ) Balancing masculine control with feminine complaint [ GO ) Balancing masculine boldness with feminine shyness [ GO ) Balancing masculine decisiveness with feminine reflectiveness [ GO ) Balancing masculine annoyance with feminine anxiety [ GO ) Balancing masculine forcefulness with feminine gracefulness [ GO ) Let's dive into each of these. First, a word about this spiritual dimension. And how spirituaility serves our needs to fully function. Spiritually compelled balance involves gender-associated traits Almost every need involves an inward focus and an outward focus . Your need or water, for example, prompts you to find a source of water outside of yourself , to draw into yourself this natural resource to restore your body's fluid and temperature equilibrium. This lateral inward-outward dimension intersects with a vertical dimension. You're either need-responsive and find water to fully resolve your thirst, or you're feel-reactiv e when gulping down a sweet drink to placate but not fully satisfy your bodily need for water. Gender generally organizes these internal and external components of our experiences. Masculinity generally covers the external or outward emphasis. Femininity generally covers the internal or inward emphasis. And both applies to all. We all experience both sets of these gender-organized qualities. The more your outward and inward foci can blend, the generally more responsive you can be to the needs you encounter—both yours and other's. The more you can properly resolve needs , the more you draw closer to human flourishing. When focusing more on inward than outward, or more on outward than inward, you cannot adequately address your needs. The less your needs resolve, the less you can function and the more you suffer pain. You become prone to vacillate between extremes. You become more feel-reactive than need-responsive . You slip into disconnection. Into mounting pain. Into a debilitating void. Nature seeks to fill the resulting void. Nature propels you toward balance, whether you agree to go along for the right or resist such compulsive balancing with all your might. This compelled integration of these gender-ascribed internal and external directions can be understood as spiritual, as compelling a deeper connection with human potential. Spirituality as a force of nature Anankelogy defines "spiritual" as relating to almost all that exists outside of oneself as connected in some need-impacting way with almost all that exists within oneself . Various thinkers, theologians and faith leaders likely use a more expansive definition, or simpler one. But anankelogy must keep its use of spirituality to what can be empirically measured. While ostensibly subjective, this disciplined understanding of the objective fact of needs utilizes the tools of social science to isolate the more objective components of such phenomenon. For example, a scale to self-report one's degree of experiencing themselves connected "with the universe" could be correlated with their level of resolving such inflexible needs as: "having a sense of purpose in life", "finding meaning in suffering", and "actualizing love as encountering the needs of others as vital as one's own". Anankelogy recognizes nature as a powerful force compelling us to redress such needs. Once evoked , you tend to address your needs within a pattern of gender-ascribed traits. Of your outward and inward attention. These traits either complement or compete, depending how balanced or imbalanced you experience them. Gender holism as a balancing act Nature pulls us with the emotional power of desire and pain to reach more of our full potential for comprehensive wellness. Which anankelogy labels as peakfunctionality . Many inward psychological and outward sociological factors emerge during life to prevent us from sustaining a peakfunctional level. Between social barriers to essential resources and personal habits that neglect resources, we slip into what anankelogy calls symfunctionality . We slide into a lower level of wellness. Accompanied by mounting pain. Too many of us get trapped in what anankelogy calls symfunction capture , which tends to pull us into comforting generalizations. When entertained, these generalities pull us into contrasting extremes. Vacillating between opposing extremes To cope with the never-ending despair, we vacillate between extremes. We gravitate toward the myth that relief can be gained at the other side's expense. Which guarantees we remain imprisoned in pain. Balancing complementary sides Transspirituality melts those barriers to essential resources. With the power of love, which honors the needs of others as our own. Emotional desire to satisfy own wants evolves into desire to see what's best for each other. Where an excessive inward focus for self-interest compromised wellbeing, a complementary outward focus on what others need brings some needed balance. Same with any other gender ascribed trait slipping into clashing sides. Transspirituality insists a balance of both inward and outward foci. Slowly at first. Oscillating toward a balanced center Transspirituality compels balancing these complementary gender traits, to reach more of our potential wellness. An inward focus moves toward an outward focus, to experience more of the rich depths that life has to offer. Frustrations gives way to clarity. Despair melts into joy. Meaningless dissolves into purpose. As wellness improves, pain fades as the threats to wellness slip way. Wholeness can be glimpsed right around the corner. Encountering the holistic center Transspirituality compels wellness, by prioritizing properly resolving needs . Which includes balancing inward and outward foci on access essential resources to resolve needs. Such spiritual compulsion comes with a profound sense of oneness with the whole universe. Whatever I do to another, I intuitively recognize, I ultimately do to myself. The more I love them for who they authentically are, the more I love myself for who I authentically am. Resistance from the conventional minded For those trapped experiencing these gender traits as contradictory, and only encountered during moments of sex, this transcendence of gender norms feels strange. And viscerally unacceptable. Reactive norm enforcers target two kinds of people. Those who violate the law for selfish gain and those who transcend the law for universal gain. I am of the latter. (click the arrow at the left to find how.) I am spiritually compelled to properly resolve needs ahead of considerations of law. Needs exist as objective fact , inflexible to law. Laws exist largely as social facts, flexible to the reality of inflexible needs .   In 1993, while coming out as transgender to Janet, my trans sibling, a young lesbian took curious interest in Janet. If only she could be as boldly open as Janet.   When caught not being home on time by her apparently homophobic mother, this young lesbian fabricated a story of being abducted and assaulted. It would show she was not there on her own accord, although she was. I fully understand her urgency not to be outed as a lesbian to her homophobic parents. I can see how she twisted her parents' homophobia toward her favor. Her claim of being assaulted fed into popular transphobic tropes of the time, especially the one casting LGBTQ aduls as child recruiting predator s .   Learn more about transphobic tropes ... Transphobic tropes are recurring, harmful narratives in media and culture that vilify or mock transgender people. Common tropes include framing trans individuals as deceptive predators, focusing solely on tragic narratives, using cross-dressing for comedy, presenting transition as a joke, or portraying trans characters as mentally ill or violent . www.geekmelange.com  +4 Common Transphobic Tropes and Narratives: The Deceptive Subject:  Trans people are portrayed as engaging in "dishonesty" or fraud, usually involving a hidden, sexualized reveal meant to disgust or humiliate others. The Dangerous/Psycho Villain:  Popularized by movies like Silence of the Lambs  and Psycho , this trope links trans identity with extreme violence, insanity, and murderous intent, often confusing cross-dressing or, in these cases, misogynistic pathology with being transgender. The Tragic Victim/Tragic Existences:  Trans characters are frequently killed off, victims of violent crime, or depicted as having no option but a miserable life, reducing their existence to trauma. The "Tr*nny" or "Shocked Reaction" Trope:  Comedy or drama that uses the existence of a trans person as the punchline, or focuses on the violent, horrified, or vomit-inducing reaction of a cisgender person finding out someone is trans. "Born in the Wrong Body" Narrative:  A limiting trope that suggests all trans people hate their bodies and that transitioning is only about fixing a "broken" body rather than social, legal, or other personal aspects of identity. The "Predator in Restrooms" Fearmongering:  A political trope often referred to as the "trans agenda," which baselessly positions trans people as threats to children or women, particularly in bathrooms, say GLAAD reports. Mockery of Pronouns/Appearance:  Focusing entirely on whether a trans person "passes" or intentionally using incorrect pronouns and names (deadnaming). Trans People Are Mentally Ill:  Characterizing being transgender as merely a mental illness, delusion, or "trend," rather than a valid identity. "They are Indoctrinating Children":  Suggesting that trans visibility is a "coordinated effort" to harm children or influence them , according to GLAAD reports. www.geekmelange.com  +9 These tropes, as discussed by organizations like GLAAD and TransActual , serve to dehumanize, reinforce transphobia, and justify discrimination. GLAAD +2 Ractive norm enforcers then punished me under the guise that I violated the law for selfish sexual gain. This fed their confirmation bias , to not consider alternatives. If a prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich , and no corroborating evidence is necessary for convicting sexual misconduct , this was a slam dunk.   Any law official failing to identify and address the needs involved risks losing legitimacy. To these defenders of conventionality, life is full of zero-sum games. In any conflict, one must take a side . You're either a winner or a loser to the latest battle. They will more likely seek to relieve pain than remove cause for pain when they do not seek to resolve the underlying needs prompting the pain. Their limited perspective denies them the wisdom to appreciate these balancing dynamics between complementary gender traits. Transgender as compelled gender balance Think of the transgender phenomenon as nature filling the void that occurs when slipping into contradictory gender sides. Wherever the masculine trait is dominant, the feminine trait tends to get neglected. Wherever the feminine trait is dominant, the masculine trait tends to get neglected. Imbalance emerges and often gets normalized. We cannot reach our full human potential without integrating our masculine and feminine qualities. By letting one side dominate to the neglect of the other, we fit neatly into social norms as "men" and as "women" so we can adequately function with each other. Being cisgender is largely "symfunctional". REACT - masculine trait OR feminine trait as dominant - symfunctionality (Sf) The cisgender typically experience sexual attraction to someone of the opposite gender as the key path toward gender trait balance. They remain dependent on the other person to complement their own one-sided gender trait. This is the traditional gender norm . If failing to complement each other, they risk sliding into gendered extremes. Where the masculine trait allows no room for feminine potential, or where the feminine trait excludes space for masculine potential, wellbeing can collapse into dysfunction . OVERREACT - masculine trait OR feminine trait as exclusive - dysfunctionality (Df) As this symfunction  or dysfunction of conflicting gendered sides gets culturally normalized, wellbeing typically declines . Such cisgender may cling to the cultural familiarity of clashing gender sides, further trapping them in dysfunction. Ironically for the transphobic, less is somehow more. To be absent of the opposite gender trait means they can be more of a normal person. This tends to correlate with increased sexual energy to compel them toward gender balance. Which some project onto the trans person they do not adequately understand. RESPOND - masculine trait & feminine trait integrated together - peakfunctionality (Pf) Nature compels the transperson to transcend such arbitrary barriers to full potential, by internally integrating these complementary gender traits. They can independently reach more of their full potential without waiting for another person to "complete" them. Embracing both gender sides can become an exhilarating experience of profound oneness. Such a trans person may be initially compelled by sexual energy, much as the cisgender. But after taking responsibility for this initial sexual pull toward intrinsic gender fullness, they promptly experience a deep sense of peace. Of oneness. Of deep connection. The more the trans person integrates their gender sides into a holistic oneness, the role of sexual energy to compel this union naturally subsides. Cisgender observing this from the familiarity of their own gender disunity may project their own sexualized experience, and misinterpret the trans experience is some kind of sexual expression. Trans are not motivated by sexual desire to "crossdress" as commonly assumed by many cisgender. Rather, the trans person yearns for this peace which they find when integrating both gender traits, toward human peakfunction potential. To resolve more needs to reach greater wellbeing and remove more pain. Let's apply this to a dozen gender pairings. 1. Balancing masculine rationality with feminine emotionality Do you see yourself championing rationality to keep your emotional impulses at bay? Or do you experience yourself as emotionally intelligent, who's wisely in touch with your own feelings? REACT - Sf: rational OR emotional Outward looking rationality sits in tension with inward looking emotionality . Some situations call for more of one than the other. In novel situations, you best stop and reflect before you act. In familiar situations, you can reliably trust your gut feelings. OVERREACT - Df: unemotional OR irrational Whether through lazy thinking, slipping into poor habits, or cut off from what you need, we sometimes overcompensate. We react to cold unemotionality with irrational outbursts. Then squash such irrationality with blunt suppression of our emotions. We go to extreme of either repressing our emotions or acting on our emotions irrationally . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: reasonable & intuitive The more these complementary traits split into contrasting sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being reasonable and being intuitive toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being reasonable and not let go of being intuitive . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 2. Balancing masculine objectivity with feminine subjectivity Do you strive to remain or at least appear objective in your pronouncements? Or do you embrace the subjective realm of your personal experiences? REACT - Sf: objective OR subjective Outward looking objectivity sits in tension with inward looking subjectivity . Some situations call for more of one than the other. In novel situations, you best stop and reflect before you act. In familiar situations, you can reliably trust your gut feelings. OVERREACT - Df: intellectualized OR emotionalized When slipping down the rabbit hole of coping behaviors, we sometimes overcompensate. We react to stilted intellectualizing  with emotionally  rich answers. Then rationalize our emotional outbursts with biased arguments. We go to the extreme of either intellectualizing our emotions or emotionalizing our reactions . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: reasoned & sensitive The more these complementary traits split into contrasting sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being reasoned  and being sensitive  toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness. Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being objective and not let go of being subjective . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 3. Balancing masculine protection with feminine nurturance Do you seek to fulfill the role of protector of your loved ones? Or do you fit more into a role of being their nurturer ? REACT - Sf: protecting OR nurturing Taking a protective approach may contradict with taking a nurturing approach. Sometimes you must first protect your loved ones from threats. Other times you best nurture your loved ones, so they can develop the capacity to protect themselves. OVERREACT - Df: domineering OR smothering When slipping away from optimal performance, we tend to overcompensate. Our attempt to protect others morphs into dominating over them. Or our attempt to nurture others morphs into smothering them as we invade their personal spaces. We go to the extreme of either dominating over overs  or smothering others . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: safeguarding & cultivating The more these complementary traits split into competing sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends safeguarding and cultivating toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being protective and not let go of being nurturing . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 4. Balancing masculine independence with feminine dependence Do you strive for self-sufficiency to maintain your autonomous independence in life? Or do you cultivate meaningful dependence that can enrich your closest social connections in life? REACT - Sf: independent OR dependent On the surface, seeking independence seems at odds with encouraging dependence . Some occasions require you to do things completely on your own. Other times you must count on others for their help or cooperation. OVERREACT - Df: detached OR attached When sliding away from proper responses, we tend to overcompensate. Independence becomes detachment, as we avoid getting too close to others. Or dependence becomes attachment as we cling to closely to others. We go to the extreme of either alienating detachment or infringing attachment . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: trustworthy & trusting The more these corresponding traits diverge into clashing sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being trustworthy and being trusting toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being independent and not let go of being dependent . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 5. Balancing masculine competition with feminine cooperation Do you try to compete with others to prove your mettle? Or do you try to negotiate for cooperation among conflicting sides? REACT - Sf: competitive OR cooperative Adopting a competitive outlook ostensibly leaves little room for a cooperative approach. If you must win at all costs, then of course you will try to compete the best you can. If the only way to gain what you need is through others getting their share, then cooperation proves a better course. OVERREACT - Df: cutthroat OR placating When sliding down the path of convenient normality, we may overcompensate. Being competitive becomes a cutthroat attempt to win at any cost. Or being cooperative sinks into placating others without addressing actual concerns. We go to the extreme of either cutthroat competition  or placating negotiation . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: initiative & mutual benefit The more these compatible traits compete with each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being initiative and mutual benefit toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being competitive and not let go of being cooperative . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 6. Balancing masculine riskiness with feminine caution Do you take risks to try to get ahead? Or do you remain cautious to avoid costly mistakes? REACT - Sf: risky OR cautious Taking bold risks pits itself as opposite to playing it safe by remaining cautious . Sometimes you can see you have a good chance to overcome any possible threats. Other times you realize you best proceed cautiously. OVERREACT - Df: reckless OR avoidant When gravitating toward what seems easiest to reach, we tend to overcompensate. Taking informed risks slips into less informed reckless behavior. Or proceeding with caution slips into not proceeding at and then getting stalled in avoidant behavior. We go to extreme of either reckless risk taking or avoidant behaviors . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: courageous & deliberate The more these interrelated traits start to oppose each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being courageous and being deliberate toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being risky and not let go of being cautious . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 7. Balancing masculine aggression with feminine passivity Do you tend to get aggressive when confronted? Or are you prone to remain passive to avoid becoming a target? REACT - Sf: aggressive OR passive Getting aggressive amidst conflicts contrasts with being passive to minimize reactions. if faced with a threat requiring prompt resolution, you may opt for a forceful approach. But if you can slow down and consider the impact of your likely actions, you may prefer a more passive approach. OVERREACT - Df: violent prone OR victim prone When options seem limited, and often are, we tend to overcompensate. Starting out by being aggressive can slip into violent outbursts, targeting others with one's own violence. Starting out by being passive may slip into becoming victim prone, as a target for another's violence. We go to extreme of either being violent prone  or victim prone . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: assertive & durable The more these complementary traits seem oppositional to each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being assertive and being durable toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being aggressive and not let go of being passive . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 8. Balancing masculine control with feminine complaint Do you try to control a troubling situation? Or do you complain about a troubling situation to compel others to act as expected? REACT - Sf: controlling OR complaining Trying to control an unpleasant situation sits at odds with complaining about an unpleasant situation. If you can, you take control of a bad situation. If not, you express your complaint to summon support to address the bad situation. OVERREACT - Df: dictating OR nagging When falling into to the trap of what seems easiest, we may overcompensate. Trying to control a situation slips into trying to control others' behavior, to dictate their actions. Or complaining about a situation slips into coercing others' behavior, to incessantly nag them. We go to extreme of either dictating over overs  or nagging others . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: incentivizing & negotiating The more these interdependent traits impose on each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends incentivizing and negotiating toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being in some control and not let go of being able to complain . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 9. Balancing masculine boldness with feminine shyness Do you assert yourself with boldness in novel situations? Or are you more inclined to stay in the shadows and feel shy in less familiar situations. REACT - Sf: bold OR shy You typically are bold or shy in social situations. When you can be confident, you step forward boldly. When not so confident, you approach shyly. OVERREACT - Df: rude OR inhibited When options seem limited, we may go to extremes. Being acceptably bold turns into being unacceptably rude. Or being socially shy turns into being socially inhibited. We go to extreme of either rudeness  or inhibition . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: audacious & thoughtful The more these compatible traits start to oppose each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being audacious and being thoughtful toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being firm and bold and not let go of being vulnerably shy . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 10. Balancing masculine decisiveness with feminine reflectiveness Are you more decisive when having to promptly choose between different options? Or are you more likely to pause and reflect so you can reliably choose the best option? REACT - Sf: decisive OR reflective You can be decisive and charge ahead or be reflective and improve your chances for a successful outcome. Sometimes you have the facts to make a bold choice. Sometimes you must caution your choice by first collecting vital pieces of information. OVERREACT - Df: rash OR procrastinating When options contract and become less available, we tend to overreact and go to opposing extremes. Being decisive becomes being rash. Being reflective slips into procrastination. We go to extreme of either being rash or procrastinating . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: proactive & attentive The more these contrasting traits contradict each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being proactive and being attentive toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being decisive and not let go of being reflective . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 11. Balancing masculine annoyance with feminine anxiety Do you get easily annoyed by others acting offensively? Or are you more likely to feel anxious about others acting offensively? REACT - Sf: annoyed OR anxious You get annoyed when expecting others to fix the problem but get anxious when expecting yourself to fix the problem. When you have every good reason to demand others to change something, you gravitate toward annoyance. When others have good reason to demand you make the necessary change, you gravitate toward anxiety. OVERREACT - Df: irresponsible OR over-responsible When we cannot access optimal primary resources to resolve our needs, we likely go to readily available extremes. Getting annoyed slides into irresponsible behavior, as we quickly blame others and deny our own agency in our problems. Or getting anxious slides into over-responsible behavior, as we get boxed in by assuming we have more agency over our problems than we honestly have. We go to extreme of either being irresponsible or over-responsible . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: watchful & careful The more these competing traits get pitted against each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being watchful and being careful toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good in some moments to be anxious while not letting go of moments of being annoyed . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 12. Balancing masculine forcefulness with feminine gracefulness Are you primarily forceful when needing to get something important done on time? Or are you more graceful to be sure what must be done works best with all involved? REACT - Sf: forceful OR graceful You can be forceful when something must be done, or you can be graceful to make room for what is also best for others. If you must act now and can ask questions later, you can be more forceful to fix a problem. If you sense that it is better for you to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission or to push ahead, you tend to be more graceful. OVERREACT - Df: disorderly OR aimless When actual choices dry up, we're prone to go the extremes of more readily available opposing options. When being forceful fails to work, we become disorderly as we overreact to situations getting out of control. Or when being graceful no longer works, we become aimless as we overreact to situations beyond our control. We go to extreme of either being disorderly or aimless . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: strong & agile The more these balancing traits clash with each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being strong and being agile toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being strategically forceful and not let go of being aptly graceful . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. Gender Holism Recap Gender occurs along a continuum from biologically grounded distinctions to socially constructed gender norms . The more humanity drifts from its potential to blend complementary gender sides, which manifests in divisive social norms, the more nature fills the void. Most will experience this when sexually incentivized to connect with others who can likely complement their own gender side. A few will experience this when spiritually compelled to transcend divisive gendered extremes, toward embracing gender holism. click image to return to the top Most of us initially feel compelled to balance these complementary qualities through a force of nature called sexuality. We find ourselves attracted to those who present some desirable qualities seemingly lacking in ourselves. We connect with them on an intimate level. Their intimate affection permits us to draw out more and more of these hidden qualities within ourselves. We get to know ourselves more fully. We slip less into extremes. We encounter a love that brings us more in touch with our full human potential. Others of us experience a more profound realm of nature compelling such balance. How do I know any of this? Asexual While most organize their lives as either dominantly masculine or dominantly feminine, I as a transspirit am spiritually compelled to continually integrate my masculine and feminine sides into a holistic balance. This blossoms independent of sexual motivation. As such, I do not feel any sexual attraction to a complementary other. Most of us first feel some sexual attraction to someone we find attractive. I never did. I had to first cultivate a deep emotional connection before feeling any arousal toward her. I had to first trust she intimately knew me first. Most people are allosexual , otherwise known as zedsexual . By contrast, I am demisexual . Allosexual attraction (norm) Demisexual attraction (strange) physical attraction -> emotional attraction emotional attraction -> physical attraction Physical intimacy leads to emotional intimacy Emotional intimacy leads to physical intimacy I recognize my unique sexuality, of requiring deep connection prior to desiring any physical intimacy, flows from my gender-transcendent spirituality. I also recognize how this leaves me vulnerable to allosexuals who project their sexual angst onto me. I am not alone. Like the Apostle Paul, I do not burn with any romantic desire toward another. While younger, I was demisexual . I had to first establish an emotional bond grounded in a mutual spiritual connection. That occurred only once, with my then-wife. I have since become fully asexual, with no desire for any sexual partner whatsoever. The deep connection I once enjoyed with my wife was violently disrupted after being falsely accused of transphobic tropes, and then wrongly convicted of a crime that never occurred. Gender norm defenders easily projected their sexual anxieties onto my sexual innocence. Defending divisive norms Overreaction The immaturity of divisive norm defenders manifest in criminal investigations, and subsequent convictions, based in confirmation bias that ignores all evidence of innocence. Worse, it punishes the very one with the spiritually compelled wisdom to resolve needs, remove pain, and restore greater wellbeing on a personal and collective level. Divisive norm defenders intentionally protect what they find familiar, even if that includes normalization of what's unwise and unhealthy for us all. Consequently, they typically knee-jerk oppose the mature direction of transspirituality. They tend to prefer the pain they feel over the discomfort of facing the unknown path to greater yet demanding wellness. Shooting the prophetic messenger Rejected Their fear of the unknown outcasts me. The wisdom I offer that transcends toxic legalism is widely dismissed and patently ignored . Problems needlessly persist. In fact, most reactions to problems reinforce problems . That too gets easily ignored when guarding what's more familiar. Legalists rely on divisive norms expressed in many gender trait extremes. Clashing gender sides tends to be more familiar than gender holism independent of sexual norms. Likewise, settling for pain relief from our unresolved needs tends to be guarded as more familiar and trustworthy than removing such pain by resolving the underlying needs. In short, legalism compromises our full human potential. Solzhenitsyn said as much back in 1978. Transspirituality compels a return to our untapped full potential. By replacing cold laws with the incentives of love, of honoring the needs of others as our own. Perhaps my existence as a need-resolving transspirit gets picked up as a competitive threat to pain-relieving legalists . Perhaps that helps explain why norm defenders, who are now accustomed to compromised wellbeing with pain coping mechanisms, perceive me as a threat. All my life, I have been scapegoated, dismissed, and routinely avoided. My liberating wisdom ignored, regarded as too unfamiliar to take seriously. Others shame me for their own pain, as they somehow blame my invisible fullness for their painful lack of fullness. Rejecting the healer they neeed . Conformity is overrated where love is underperformed . As more of us slip into symfunction that hinders our full potential, a life aspring to full peakfunction potential can seem unacceptably strange. The more emotionally attached to what they find reliably familiar, the less tolerant they tend to be toward those instinctively challenge those norms. They prefer to feel the familiar emotional pain from their dysfunction or symfunction than the less familiar discomfort of disciplined growth. From that perspective, a gifted healer like me must be outcasted. They perceive my gender-transcendence as being less of a person. They view someone like me who exhibits both feminine and masculine qualities as somehow being less. They do not recognize how such gender holism can enable humanity to reach more of its untapped potential. To them, I must be some kind of sexual degenerate. They cannot see beyond their own myopic perspective. They cannot get to the root of their pain, which is unresolved needs . Reacting to their pain with more conformity tends to leave them in more familiar pain. They overlook the benefits of owning both feminine and masculine qualities, independent of sexual encounters. They may even misinterpret me as conventionally transgender, which I am not. I never claimed to have a feminine identify, but a misunderstood spiritual identity. Much of the transgender narrative never accurately fit my gender-transcendent experience. In fact, I no longer think of myself as conventionally transgender. Think of me as "post-transgender" not me, just illustrating a point Post-trans: Trans but not conventionally transgender I am transgender, but not transgender in the conventional sense. I do not identify as having a gender identify different from ascribed at my birth. Rather, I am more like the " two-spirits " of indigenous cultures. Not because I am Oneida by birth. But raised by my Oneida mother who grounded me in appreciating the centrality of nature in life. Indigenous spirituality grounds me to the necessity of balance, including gender balance. Such balance is vital to resolve more needs, to raise more wellbeing and remove more pain. I do not balance gender traits to express a gender identity. Rather, I naturally integrate these complementary sides to reach more of life's full potential. Not merely for me, but for us all. Balance for us all That is why I can unpack politics to spot its roots in a different priority of needs . And recognize the limits in the adversarial approach to seeking justice. Those legalistic approaches fail to effectively address our inflexible needs . We cannot properly resolve needs by pitting us against each other in either a court battle or a ballot contest. Integrating our gender traits enables us to resolve more needs, to reach more of our life's full potential. Which includes our potential to love each other more, to honor each other's needs as we would have the other honor our own. Toward need-resolving holism. Need-resolving holism Gender holism equips me to integrate the four levels of human functionality with left-right political spectrum. Another way to view this integrates the vertical spectrum of nuanced specifics (top) to overgeneralizing exaggerations (bottom). I could go on and cover these in details, but instead I will wrap this up. This is already a lot to take in. If you absorb anything from this article, consider this takeaway. Takeaway (TLDR) Nature compels those like me to transcend contrasting norms that no longer serve, to connect deeply with the untapped human potential in us all. This can seem strange and even unacceptable to many. Especially for those who lack vision to see beyond their legalistic framework. We cannot solve our specific problems from the level of generalizing that created them . Including all those overgeneralizing divisive gender norms. We can solve our problems by resolving needs with love , by honoring the needs of others as our own. That's exactly what need-response is for. back-to-top

Use this spreadsheet tool to practice for an initial HR job interview. Work at your own pace. It provides twelve of the most common interview questions. The second page provides you with instructions for utilizing this interactive tool. Each question comes with insight into what the interviewer likely seeks with each question. Click the arrow at the left to see that item's insight and tip into that interview item. 1. Tell me about yourself. Key insight into this question Your self-introduction serves as an icebreaker. It's also a good opportunity to create a strong first impression that you really are the best fit for what they seek. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question The interviewer gets to see if your personality is a good fit for the role, for the team, and for the company. The interviewer typically determines in the first 90 seconds if you will be a good candidate to forward onto the next step in the process. 2. What is your greatest strength? Key insight into this question What soft skill implied in the job description can you demonsrate in an example? That just became your greatest strength to qualify for this job. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Are they asking for only one or for several strengths? Typically just one. Look for a soft skill that exemplifies what the job description requires. Then give a brief example of you expressing that soft skill as applied to the job description qualification. 3. What is your greatest weakness? Key insight into this question This question is asking you to humbly be honest and admit to something you are still improving. Quickly state the shortcoming then focus more on your progress in this area. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question The interviewer assumes that we all have many imperfections, but choose the one that can demonstrate how you are actively improving yourself. This can demonstrate your problem-solving and other skills. Just be sure not to pick something critical to the job description. 4. What do you know about our company? Key insight into this question The less you know about their product and services, the less reason they have to hire you. Find out as much as you can beforehand. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question They will not be impressed if citing only the basic facts about them. Tell not only what you know but what you like about them. Do you use any of their offerings? Do you love what they are about? Let your passion for them shine through. 5. Where do you see yourself in 3 to 5 years? Key insight into this question This looks at how strong and clear is your vision for your career. The better your career vision, the more likely you will be a good fit for this team. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Avoid overpromising them your commitment to a future no one can know. Of course, you don't want to say you expect to be working elsewhere in five years, or starting your own business, even if that is likely. Assure them they are central to your current career trajectory. 6. Tell me about your greatest career success. Key insight into this question Share something you have accomplished that the job description particularly seeks. Prioritize what is important to them over what you are most proud of achieving. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question What is something in the job description you have achieved? Share it as a short story. What was the workplace challenge you met? How did you succeed in resolving it? How does it make you a perfect candidate for this position? 7. Tell me about a mistake you made at work and what you learned. Key insight into this question When you learn from your mistakes, you become a better team member. Like a healed bone getting stronger than before, show your strengths through recovering from a mistake. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question The more you drop your guard and show you humanly make mistakes, you build more trust. The more valuable what you learn from the mistake, the better your fit for this new team. Remember to end your example on a positive note. 8. Tell me about a disagreement you had with a colleague and how you handled it. Key insight into this question This looks for your teamwork skills. Everyone has a different opinion sometime, so how do you contribute your unique perspective to the team? What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question This doesn't assume you argued with a coworker. Tell about how you get along with your teammates even when you have a different point of view. Hopefully you are not so "harmonious" that you never contribute your unique perspective. 9. How would your coworkers describe you? Key insight into this question This puts in the third person paraphrasing or quoting your teammates' views of you. It can sound less partial and not risk sounding like you're boasting. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question TIP: Ask your current coworkers for feedback to your current work, then use it to answer this question. They never have to know you are seeking another job. You will sound more certain when quoting their actual words than trying to paraphrase what you think they might say. 10. Why should we hire you? Key insight into this question If you are equally qualified as all the other candidates, what sets you apart as the best pick? What can you offer the others likely cannot? What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Think about what you offer that other candidates can unlikely offer. What particular experience or qualifications others are not likely to have. Emphasize these qualities with your passion for the opportunity to join this team, this company. You're almost there! 11. Tell me something we should know about you that we didn't think to ask. Key insight into this question Before the interview ends, the interviewer wants you to suggest anything they may have overlooked. Here is your opportunity to shine. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Standard HR questions could overlook something that makes you especially qualified for this job. HR recognizes it may miss this, so this is an open-ended question for you to share some unique story that can help them decide you are just right for the job. 12. Do you have any questions for me? Key insight into this question Good questions demonstrate how interested you are in the job. You never want to say you have no questions. Let the time run out on the questions you could ask. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Prepare at least 3 to 4 questions to ask the interviewer to show your interest. If you only prepare one or two and they answer each in the course of the interview, you do not want to say you have no more questions. Go back to the top and select " Qs to ask interviewer " for some ideas. You then practice your answers in the provided space. Then rate the quality of your answer. First by relevance to the job description. Speak to their needs. Second by authenticity of your answer. Avoid embellishing. Third by how specific is your answer. Generalizations don't sell yourself. Select from the dropdown list to get feedback to the quality of your response. Best : Feedback to an excellent response to this question. Good : Feedback to an acceptable response to this question. Okay : Feedback to a minimal response to this question. Poor : Feedback to an unacceptable response to this question. See this unfold for question 4: Then it provides examples of different quality level response you select from a dropdown list. Best : What an excellent response would look like for that question. Good : What an acceptable response would look like for that question. Okay : What a minimal response would look like for that question. Poor : What an unacceptable response would look like for that question. See here all four example quality levels to a response to question 4: The tool also comes with many other useful tips. This tool features how to use the CAR method for answer behavioral interview questions. You likely are familiar with the STAR method: Situation, Task, Actions, Results. The CAR method keeps it simpler. Every story has a beginning ( C hallenge to set up the story), middle ( A ctions where you're the hero), and satisfying conclusion ( R esults you created). Your short stories can be more compelling when focusing on that middle part, instead of getting bogged down an unnecessary details in the beginning. See an example CAR story on page 6 for each of these 12 in-demand soft skills: leadership skills teamwork skills problem-solving skills customer service skills communication skills interpersonal skills emotional intelligence adaptability skills organizational skills creativity attention to detail work ethic I help my student-clients practice their CAR stories to demonstrate their potential value to the interviewer. The more you practice and finetune your CAR stories, the more you can emotionally impact the interviewer to trust you as the best candidate. You can practice with me in person if you have a Cambly account. I have served hundreds of interviewees on Cambly. Here are some of their testimonials, vouching for how this tool and its emphasis on using their CAR stories has helped them. Perhaps I can help you sell your qualifications to an employer of your choice. Download this tool and see for yourself how you can improve your job interviewing skills. When you cannot find someone to help you practice, this could be your next best thing. You can practice using one of many mock interview websites . You can also practice with me. Interview Prep 1: virtual consultation 20 mins. $25 Interview Prep 2: mock interview 45 mins. $37.50

Emotions objectively convey the objective fact of inflexible needs Objectively speaking Your emotions exist as objective facts. Each emotion conveys  the fact of your current wellbeing.   While the content of your emotions slips into subjectivity, your emotions never lie to you that something is not quite right. Emotions objectively report, however subjectively imprecise, the current status  of your inflexible needs .   Respond or react How you handle each evoked need runs the gamut from illicit to appropriate . If unable to promptly resolve the need, your pain naturally builds . And often tempts you to try to do something less appropriate to ease the mounting discomfort.   You may settle for a lower level of functioning, which feels better than none at all. As an objectively recurring phenomenon.   It takes a village You can properly resolve many of your needs on your own, but not all of them. Other needs you routinely face depend on others’ responsiveness. You can never resolve your need for friendship or for security from dangers, for example, completely on your own.   The less others appropriately respond to such needs, the less you can appropriately resolve them. And the more you slip into painful unwellness. Then it becomes increasingly difficult to respond properly to any of your publicly neglected needs.   Yeah, it hurts Whether you overreact or properly respond to your needs remains independent from the objective reality of your objectively existing needs. Apart from the current state of needs your emotions report, you feel no pain. Pain is not the problem as much as the threats your pain tries to report . No need, then no pain. There is no such thing as pain apart from unresolved needs  like these.   Your pain warns you that your ability to fully function is under threat. Removing the threat removes the cause for pain, as you get back to full functioning, to full wellness.   If you settle for pain relief without removing the threat prompting such pain, you will always be in pain. Apart from your unresolved inflexible needs , you feel no pain. 20 emotions conveying your objective needs Apart from an inflexible need to connect more deeply with others , you feel no  alienation . Sometimes you need to connect more deeply with others  to fully function. If unable to connect more deeply with others , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling alienated  is subjective, such as how you might connect more deeply with others, the emotion factually reports your objective need to connect more deeply with others . Failing to resolve the need to connect more deeply with others  factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to connect more deeply with others  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for lingering alienation . Apart from an inflexible need to reject some apparent threat , you feel no anger . Sometimes you need to reject some apparent threat to fully function. If unable to remove the apparent threat , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling angry  is subjective, such as how you can remove the threat, the emotion factually reports your objective need to reject something you find unacceptable . Failing to resolve the need to remove what’s unacceptable  factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to reject what is truly unacceptable factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for alarming anger . Apart from an inflexible need to make sense of something , you feel no confusion . Sometimes you need to make sense of something not immediately clear , to fully function. If unable to make sense of something , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling confused  is subjective, such as how you can find clarity, the emotion factually reports your objective need to make sense of something and find clarity . Failing to resolve the need for clarity factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need for clarity  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for unsettling confusion . Apart from an inflexible need to redirect your energies , you feel no depression . Sometimes you need to redirect your energies  to fully function. If unable to redirect your energies to replenish your overextended self , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling depressed  is subjective, such as how you interpret that you cannot do much, the emotion factually reports your objective need to redirect your energies . Failing to resolve the need to redirect energy to refill your emptied tanks factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to redirect energies  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for crushing depression. Apart from an inflexible need to rely upon others , you feel no disappointment . Sometimes you need to rely upon others  to fully function. If unable to rely upon others , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling disappointed is subjective, such as holding unrealistic expectations of others, the emotion factually reports your objective need to rely upon others . Failing to resolve the need to rely dependably upon others factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to rely upon others  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for disconcerting disappointment. Apart from an inflexible need to remove something offensive , you feel no disgust . Sometimes you need to remove something offensive  to fully function. If unable to remove something offensive , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling disgusted  is subjective, such as what you regard as pure and impure, the emotion factually reports your objective need to remove something offensive . Failing to resolve the need to remove whatever is offensive factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to remove whatever is offensive  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for uncomfortable disgust. Apart from an inflexible need to cover something exposed , you feel no embarrassment . Sometimes you need to cover something exposed to function fully. If unable to cover something exposed , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling embarrassed is subjective, such as how you assume others must be shocked by what they find, the emotion factually reports your objective need to cover something vulnerably exposed . Failing to resolve the need to cover something that shouldn’t be exposed factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to cover whatever gets vulnerably exposed  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for disturbing embarrassment. Apart from an inflexible need to handle something menacing , you feel no fear . Sometimes you need to handle something menacing to function fully. If unable to find the courage to handle something menacing , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling afraid or  anxious  is subjective, such as how certain you feel that you must flee, the emotion factually reports your objective need to handle something menacing. Failing to resolve the need to face and handle something menacing factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to face and handle some threat  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for paralyzing fear. Apart from an inflexible need to have things go as planned , you feel no frustration . Sometimes you need to have things go as planned  to fully function. If unable to have things go as planned , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling frustrated  is subjective, such as how things may go more as planned than first perceived, the emotion factually reports your objective need to have things go as planned . Failing to resolve the need to have things go as planned factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to have things go on as planned  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for upsetting frustration . Apart from an inflexible need to adjust to a deep loss , you feel no grief . Sometimes you need to adjust to a deep loss  to fully function. If unable to adjust to a deep loss , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of grieving  is subjective, such as the depth of the loss to which you must somehow adjust, the emotion factually reports your objective need to adjust to a deep loss and find a new sense of meaning . Failing to resolve the need to adjust to the significant loss factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to adjust to a deep loss  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for troubling grief. Apart from an inflexible need to restore your respect for others , you feel no guilt . Sometimes you need to restore your respect for and from others , to fully function. If unable to restore your respect for others , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling guilty  is subjective, such as believing your actions were more offensive than they actually were, the emotion factually reports your objective need to restore your respect for others . Failing to resolve the need to restore your respect for others factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to atone for past offenses  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for further distressing guilt. Apart from an inflexible need to avoid any risk of harm , you feel no insecurity . Sometimes you need to avoid any risk of harm , to fully function. If unable to avoid any risk of harm , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling insecure  is subjective, such as regarding less familiar situations as inherently dangerous, the emotion factually reports your objective need to avoid any risk of harm . Failing to resolve the need to avoid harm factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to avoid any risk of harm  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for worrying insecurity. Apart from an inflexible need to enjoy what another enjoys , you feel no jealousy . Sometimes you need to enjoy what another enjoys , to fully function. If unable to enjoy what another enjoys , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling jealous  is subjective, such as perceiving another’s interest in your partner as flirtatious, the emotion factually reports your objective need to fairly   access what others enjoy . Failing to resolve the need to access what others access factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to enjoy equitably what others enjoy  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for painful jealously. Apart from an inflexible need to connect with someone , you feel no loneliness . Sometimes you need to connect with someone , to fully function. If unable to connect with someone , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling lonely is subjective, such as how you sense no one will want to take any interest in you, the emotion factually reports your objective need to connect with someone . Failing to resolve the need for deeper social connection factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need for meaningful social connection  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for isolating loneliness. Apart from an inflexible need to control your situation , you feel no powerlessness . Sometimes you need to control your situation , to fully function. If unable to control your situation , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling powerless  is subjective, such as downplaying how much impact you really have in the moment, the emotion factually reports your objective need to remain atop your situation . Failing to resolve the need to maintain control over your wellbeing factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to control whatever happens to you in some situation factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for naked powerlessness. Apart from an inflexible need to rethink your actions , you feel no regret . Sometimes you need to rethink your actions , to fully function. If unable to rethink your actions , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling regret  is subjective, such as how you read what could have been, the emotion factually reports your objective need to reconsider your actions . Failing to resolve the need to rethink your actions factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to rethink your impactful actions  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for costly insecurity. Apart from an inflexible need to promptly get something done , you feel no restlessness . Sometimes you need to promptly get something done , to fully function. If unable to promptly get something done , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling restless  is subjective, such as mischaracterizing how long something may actually take, the emotion factually reports your objective need to promptly get something done . Failing to resolve the need to get things done factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to get things done  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for unsettling restlessness. Apart from an inflexible need to deal with some loss , you feel no sadness . Sometimes you need to deal with some loss , to fully function. If unable to deal with some loss , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling sad  is subjective, such as assuming something is permanently lost only to find it later, the emotion factually reports your objective need to deal with some loss . Failing to resolve the need to deal with some loss factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to get through some casual loss  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for discomforting sadness. Apart from an inflexible need to guard your social image , you feel no shame . Sometimes you need to guard your social image , to fully function. If unable to guard your social image , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling shame  is subjective, such as misreading another’s body language as scorn, the emotion factually reports your objective need to guard how others perceive you . Failing to resolve the need to manage your public image factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to guard your social image  factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for worrying shame. Apart from an inflexible need to meet some high expectation , you feel no stress . Sometimes you need to meet some high expectation , to fully function. If unable to meet some high expectation , you cannot fully function as an objective fact. And your wellness suffers.   While the content of feeling stressed  is subjective, such as the high expectations you impose upon yourself, the emotion factually reports your objective need to meet some high expectations.  Failing to resolve the need to meet such expectations factually compromises your wellness.   Promptly resolving your need to reach some noble expectation factually restores your wellness. Which then removes any cause for mounting stress.

Your emotions powerfully convey your needs Episode 2 clip from the Need-Response podcast , with its text below Do you feel others trying to blame you for not fulfilling their needs? Do you feel overwhelmed by all that’s demanded from you now? Do you feel that you must fight to get others to bend their  needs to serve yours? Can anyone change what they need on demand?   Objective fact of your core needs 0:18 Every need exists as an objective fact . Which you subjectively experience only after the fact. Only then do your feelings suggest what you could do to restore your objective functioning. What you then do in response is separate from the objective need itself.   This is the foundational principle establishing the new social science of anankelogy —the study of need. The objective fact of needs allows us to predict many aspects of our needs, and put them under the magnifying glass.   You objectively need water. Your body requires the proper level of water for you to healthily function. The further outside that optimal level, the less you can predictably function. As an objective fact, independent of your awareness.   You objectively need others. Your life cannot continue for long if left completely isolated. The more isolated from those whom your life requires to optimally function, the less well you predictably become.   You objectively need times of solitude. You cannot function well if completely smothered by others imposing on your personal space. The less room to assert your own capabilities, the less you can optimally function. Predictably.   Need direction cycle 1:35 Consider how each of your needs prompt you to move from an uncomfortable red zone  into a green zone  of improved functioning. In a predictable cyclic pattern .     You experience pain  or discomfort whenever something objectively exceeds  an ideal threshold. Apart from perceiving such a threatening excess, you feel no pain.   By removing  whatever is in excess, you feel relief . You can then objectively function better.   When dropping too low, or what your life requires to function gets too depleted , you feel desire . Apart from such depletion, you feel no desires.   By adequately replenishing what your life requires to objectively function, you feel some pleasure . And back around again.   You recognize removing excess and replenishing  what’s depleted are both GOOD . These restore your functioning. Objectively.   You realize depletion and excess  are both BAD . These diminish your functioning. Objectively.   Relate to your discomforts 2:35 There is no such thing as pain or desire apart from unresolved needs .   Consider how this applies to your objective need for fluid balance. You feel discomfort when realizing your bladder is full.   You feel relief when relieving your bladder.   You feel thirsty when your body signals your fluid level has depleted below an optimal level.   You feel quenched after drinking enough water to restore that level.   Now apply this to an emotional need.   Sometimes you feel smothered in a crowd, and seek solitude.   You find relief when finding the free or personal space to be alone.   You suffer feelings of loneliness when completely isolated from others.   You enjoy closeness after befriending others who respond to you.   Sometimes a need only covers half of this cycle. Like when you hurt your hand. And find relief when your hand heals. There is no depletion in the sensation of touch.   Or when you desire self-expression and find pleasure when understood.   All of your needs spin through this cycle.   Painful reality of your unmet needs 3:41 Your every need exists as an objective fact . Every need of others also exists objectively. You can never change what they objectively require to function, so why try?   You cannot choose not to be thirsty, nor can they. Or to not be smothered. Or not to require support from caring others. You cannot refuse to require self-determination, nor can they. You cannot deny your innate necessity to remain secure, nor can they.   We can challenge what we do about such needs. And question how others address such needs, especially if negatively impacting our own. But it is utterly pointless to challenge the needs themselves. We cannot avoid the pain of suffered insecurity. Or evade the persisting desire of hindered self-determination. Not without addressing the objectively existing needs that prompts such pain or desire in us all.   Equal under the sun 4:34 No one’s needs are more important than the objectively existing needs in others. No one’s urgency to remove some painful threat or to fulfill some noble desire exists as more important than similar needs of others.   Anankelogy establishes how all core needs sit equal before nature , by demonstrating how resolving such needs empirically “improves” anyone’s capacity to function, to measurably improve their wellbeing. And how all unresolved needs “reduces” anyone’s capacity to function, in ways that measurably compromise their wellness. Equally applicable to everyone.   Need-response challenges the ethical quandary of obstructing other’s chance to resolve their inflexible needs . Especially those who then exploit any reduced wellness  to serve their own interests—even if such interests appear noble on the surface. Such as offering pain relief without addressing the inflexible need prompting that pain .    Short-term pain relief may be essential to restore focus. But perpetual pain relief risks trapping you in persisting pain by ignoring the inflexible needs such pain exists to report. Opposing others considered the source of your pain also can trap you in more pain, by provoking them into defensiveness to guard their inflexible needs.   A better way 5:54 Instead of opposing each other’s objectively occurring needs, we could first affirm them in each other. Everyone requires security and self-determination, for example, and opposition to such objectively occurring needs predictably provokes mutual defensiveness, predictably prompts pushback—sometimes with violent force—and predictably always fails. Inflexible needs always refuse to “flex”, or change, to suit anyone’s resistance to their objective reality.   Affirm the needs, and only then can we effectively question how that affects our own needs. It’s better to honor the needs of others as one’s own than to provoke mutual defensiveness that predictably prevents resolution of such needs. Then traps you in the pain of our unmet needs, which risks distorting your thinking.   Instead of wasting precious resources preventing each other from resolving their inflexible needs—because we don’t like how they do it—it’s better to support one another to resolve their inflexible needs. And to mutually negotiate how to resolve such needs with minimal negative impacts on one another. It’s best not to try to hold each other down, but to encourage each other to excel and thrive by fully resolving each other’s inflexible needs.   You know, there’s a word for this radically different approach: ‘ love ’ .

Any discussion around politics that doesn't first address our different priority of inflexible needs quickly runs into errors. The more we address our specific needs, the less we rely on the generalizing of politics. The most important distinction in politics is not between left and right nor between populists and elites, but between overgeneralizing and addressing specific needs. Let's get to the specific needs politics exist to serve. Let's unpack politics, like you've never seen it unpacked before . Which do you think is more likely? You formulate your political views based on reasoning through the options on each side. OR You gravitate toward those views that best express your priority of inflexible needs. In other words, can you really be persuaded to change your political views? Or do your political views point to something deeper, which cannot be simply changed at will? If the latter, do we needlessly provoke each other's defensiveness by trying to change what we cannot readily change? Do we miss our full human potential to solve politicized problems when we fail to support each other to fully resolve needs we cannot change? If we can respect the inflexible needs behind our political differences, and only question what each other does to publicly address such needs, perhaps we can find more room to love one another. We can then honor the needs of others as we would have them honor own own, even while we experience different political perspectives. Ready to turn hostile politics into opportunities to give and receive some love? Good! Then let’s spread some love . CONTENTS Your political beliefs Your political differences Politics defined Your needs takes sides Your political orientation Deep & wide False balance or false dichotomy? Your politicized needs Hold your ground No conversion Issue by issue Spread the love Let's unpack politics, like you've never seen it unpacked before . Let’s appreciate why it can be so difficult for you to politically agree with others. Or for others to agree with you. Then pave the way to overcome polarization, to spread some love . 1. Your political beliefs Are you sure you freely choose your political positions after carefully reasoning each option ? If so, others should be able to freely choose it too, and agree with you. But they don’t, do they? Why? Because, in all honesty, you are compelled to choose a position that best fits your painful needs . As others are compelled to choose what best fits their needs. Reasoned arguments emerge after the fact. You politically believe what you need to believe . 2. Your political differences Needs . That’s the frequently overlooked part of politics. While you need the same basic things as others, how you need them differs from how others need them. And they can’t change how they need ‘em any easier than you can change how you need whatever is vital for you. The more your situation differs from theirs, the more differently you need from them. The more you need differently, the more your politics naturally diverge. 3. Politics defined Defining politics this way illuminates its risks for polarization. Instead of encouraging specifics , status quo politics spurs generalizing . You then avoid specifics that risk undermining party unity, and for agreeably relieving pain . Instead of engaging your specific needs, status quo politics enables avoidance . You then use politics to avoid dealing with the cause of the pain , instead of resolving the needs in a way that stops the pain. Instead of unifying around what can be done to resolve these needs, status quo politics favors polarization . You then get more out of fighting each other than fighting to resolve each other’s affected needs. ​ conflict porn = enjoying the conflict more than finding a solution. 4. Your needs takes sides So why does anyone become a liberal? Or a conservative? Mostly, because each partisan side serves a particular way of experiencing and expressing needs. One side experiences their psychosocial needs in the opposite direction as the other side. Your psychosocial situation prioritizes the opposite set of psychosocial needs . Liberals ​Conservatives ​must relieve unmet social needs . While guarding their more resolved self-needs . If a liberal , you feel you must relieve your social need for greater acceptance , for example, than your need for personal resilience . So you rely more on government protections against discrimination, than try to personally overcome repeated rejections by others. Meanwhile, you guard your more resolved self-need for personal authenticity , like being culturally nonwhite, or being gay, or trans, or a Muslim, against pressures to cooperate and conform with more traditional norms. The vulnerability of being disadvantaged can make that much more difficult. So you find solace among others of similar experience, and like-mind. ​must relieve unmet self-needs . While guarding their more resolved social needs . If a conservative , you feel you must relieve your self-need for self-sufficiency , for example, more than your need for equal social treatment . So you endeavor to provide for your own the best you can, before seeking fair help from others you don’t personally know. Meanwhile, you guard your more resolved social need for family cohesion , like safeguarding traditional marriage and the nuclear family, against pressures to allow self-expressions that risk destabilizing established cohesion. The expanding role of impersonal government can make that much more difficult. So you find solace among others of similar experience, and like-mind. Whether liberal or conservative , you become oriented to this distinction. Arguments cannot change who you are, or how you experience your needs sharply different from others. Arguments provide you and your cohorts a guarded shell, a fence to protect your vulnerable differences. Arguments that tend to politically privilege dishonesty on both sides. 5. Your political orientation Your political orientation is the outward expression of your inward psychosocial orientation . Any tension between your self-needs and social needs creates the lens through which you see all things political. ---- For example, if your undermined self-need for privacy  floods your thinking, you can hardly find space to consider another’s affected social need for intimacy . What you do with your own reproductive organs is too private a matter for you to open to another’s prying eyes. Or if your strained social need for reliable local supports  feels threatened by government mandates, you can barely appreciate another's vulnerable dependence upon such government provisions. You struggle to stick with your self-initiative , against temptations to depend more on impersonal others. 6. Your political orientation You believe with others what you need to believe . Your painful needs prioritize your perspective, to compel you to see what the other oriented side cannot easily see. If your social needs resolve less than your guarded self-needs , you're inwardly wide-oriented . If your self-needs resolve less than your guarded social needs , you're inwardly deep-oriented . If wide-oriented , you’re compelled to prioritize inclusion of the historically excluded . You feel the injustices they endured. If deep-oriented , you’re compelled to prioritize cohesion of the traditionally grouped . You feel the necessity to remain grounded. If wide-oriented , you’re compelled to prioritize the most vulnerable, to serve widening demand . For you, “Each according to their need.” If deep-oriented , you’re compelled to prioritize the most productive, to ensure a deep supply . For you, “A rising tide lifts all boats.” If wide-oriented , you rely on public goods, like public welfare . A safety net for the disadvantaged. ​If deep-oriented , you rely on private rights, like private enterprise . A meaningful service bringing depth to lives. If wide-oriented , you wonder if it is effective for the needy many . You likely see an active role for government, to effectively provide for the many who can barely provide for themselves. If deep-oriented , you wonder if it is efficient for the creative few . You likely see a minimal role for government, to efficiently produce for us all only what we cannot do for ourselves. If wide-oriented , you yearn to improve collective capacity , for those vulnerable to others. If deep-oriented , you yearn to improve individual capacity , for those with untapped potential. ​If wide-oriented , you call for freedom from oppression for those historically deprived . If deep-oriented , you call for freedom to provide for your own against pressures to accept disincentivizing handouts. ​If wide-oriented , you generalize about wider inclusion , wider public supports , wider efficacies , and wider freedoms from oppression . deep-oriented , you generalize about deeper cohesion , deeper private rights , deeper efficiencies , and deeper freedoms to provide for your own. ​ Liberal beliefs express these inner priorities. Conservative beliefs express these inner priorities. 7. False balance or false dichotomy? These are mutually exclusive mostly to those who are not whole . “ It’s best to hold onto one without letting go of the other . ” Sweeping generalizations make them appear more contradictory than they actually are. Sure, there are false balances in politics. Some policies lead to better results than others. But comparing the underlying needs is a false dichotomy . Your needs are no more important than another’s. When their needs go unmet, they cease to function as well as you when your needs go unmet. You could affirm the need for inclusion without neglecting cohesion . You could honor private property without neglecting public services. You could be both effective and efficient . All without the self-serving generalizing , or pain- avoidant outrage, or echo-chamber polarizing . The real political difference is not between between between No, the overlooked political difference is between between between A politics that overlooks the needs of others is not a legitimate politics at all. So generalizer , beware. Avoider , beware. Polarizer , beware. Judgment begins in earnest, as a helpful evaluation for how well you did or did not love your political friend and foe alike. Instead of waiting for the ballot box, let’s measure your impact now. After all, what gets measured gets done. By overcoming polarization, we can do it together now. 8. Your politicized needs Politics socially conveys your needs . No matter what position you or others take on any issue, your only honest difference is how to respond to needs. Not in the needs themselves. If I told you I'm thirsty, hot and tired, would you ever say, "I disagree"? If I said I'm lonely and need someone to talk to, would you debate it? The needs themselves are not open to debate. You can choose how you respond to these needs. You generally cannot choose the needs themselves. 9. Hold your ground So don’t let anyone trick you into giving up your political values for theirs. Their political values evolved to fit their needs, their situation, their prioritized needs . Not yours. Your politics don’t require replacement . They need refinement . Less pain-relieving generalizing, that doesn’t get to the cause of your pain. More need-resolving specifics, that removes the pain. Less mutual defensiveness . More understanding and engaging of one another’s differing situations. You don’t have to blindly compromise . You love in how you give, and convey the costs of that love. When political debating slips into disputing the needs themselves, reject this threat to love . 10. No conversion If you held to one side and then switched to the other, your needs allowed you to convert . It wasn’t the persuasion of political arguments alone. You can hardly go against what you painfully need. Your needs resist debate . Their needs resist your best arguments. As long as you experience a certain priority of psychosocial needs , your psychosocial orientation will not let you convert. Not any easier than to convert a lefthander to righthandedness, or introversion to extraversion, or same-sex attracted to opposite-sex attraction. It’s time to stop trying. It’s time to stop hating on others for differences they cannot change . It’s time to accept each other as It’s time to replace the status quo of politically privileged hate with this vitally needed unifying understanding love . 11. Issue by issue Issue by issue , we step back from hostile argument to appreciate the underlying inflexible needs . Together, we’ll replace the status quo of mutual hostilities with better loving understanding of each other’s affected needs. If we don’t, who will? So let’s apply this to the issue at hand. Ready? 12. Spread the love You will never find a lasting political solution until you first appreciate your difference in needs . If you want to be understood, seek first to understand. Look at your situation. How does it prioritize your needs? When looking into situations others face, do you only see your own familiar needs? If raised in a more urban environment , do you only see the need for cultural diversity in rural situations? Do you not see their need to maintain local initiative , for resourceful responsibility , to provide for their own in the middle of nowhere? Do you think they chose these needs? If raised in a more rural environment , do you only see the need for private property rights in urban situations? Do you not see their vulnerabilities to insensitivities , their need for government protections against less visible forms of exploitation , to avoid being re-traumatized ? Do you think they chose these needs? If you do not love others in how you respect their difference in needs, why on earth would you expect them to respect your differing needs? Issue by issue, we pull you out of your shell. Together, we cross a bridge to the other political side, to respect their needs as we would have them respect our own. Issue, by issue, we dare you to love. If you don’t, who will? So, please, Together, Let's unpack politics Check out my eCourse on Udemy Defusing Polarization: Understanding Divisive Politics Realize how your differently experienced needs create political differences and fuels polarization. Your responsiveness to such unpacking of our political differences Your turn. Consider one or more of these options to respond to this need-responsive content. Explore similar content by clicking on the tags below. Find similar content under this politics category. Share this content with others on social media. Share the link to share the love. Check out recent posts of interest to you. Add a rating below to let others know how much of a good read this was for you. Write a comment below to give others an independent perspective on this content. Recommend this on Facebook. Introduce anankelogy to your social media contacts. Lastly, support us in building this new love-nurturing alternative to our hate-enabling institutions. You can help us spread some love. back-to-top

Do you treat the wrongly convicted innocent as if they are guilty? below is the script for this video Let me introduce you to a fresh concept: “ innocence offending ”. Anyone who treats a wrongly convicted innocent person as “guilty” offends that person if complicitly denying them of their stolen rights . All under color of law . This exists as a legally privileged offense. By innocent, I mean the convicted person had no role in the reported offense. But surely there aren’t that many innocent people in prison, are there?   Scale of the problem Well, actually, there are. Between 4 and 6% of all prisoners are actually innocent . Not wrongly convicted because of some legal technicality. But they played no role in the crime whatsoever. Or there was no crime. Like when an infant dies from an undiagnosed brain hemorrhage, and the mother is found guilty of shaken baby syndrome . That amounts to about a hundred thousand innocent people who are falsely incarcerated. Sure, some of these have sorted pasts, but many—like myself—have no other criminal record. With around nineteen million Americans with a felony record , that comes to about a million innocent lives treated as if they are felons when they’re actually not. Damaging consequences Many of these innocent defendants serve the full time in prison, being denied for parole because they could not show remorse, and then get released without their rights restored. They endure what are called “ collateral consequences of criminal conviction ”. Meaning that they may be excluded from certain types of jobs, or not allowed to be licensed for certain professions, and not allowed to own or posses a firearm. There are thousands of such restrictions on the books, damaging the lives of the innocent beyond prison. All because the adversarial judicial system mistakenly marked them as felons. Injustice in the name of justice The law privileges such violation of rights because misapplication of the law produced the wrongful conviction in the first place. The tables then turn. These innocent defendants become victims of the very legal system we count upon to protect us from victimizers. The current legal system remains slow in identifying and admitting such errors. And even slower in correcting them. At the time of this writing, less than four thousand have been exonerated . The legal system moves like molasses. Depressing despair What can the wrongly convicted innocent do if the legal system itself is the primary offender? What can you do about it? What if you find out that you could be an innocence offender ? That refers to anyone who violates the rights of the wrongly convicted innocent. If you passively defer to the imperfections and errors of the adversarial judicial system, you could be smeared as a complicit innocence offender. What you can do What can you do to avoid becoming complicit in this hidden crisis? You can start by checking your beliefs. Elites who benefit from this imperfect adversarial system count on you accepting a number of myths that keep them in power. You risk being complicit if you believe and act upon any of these widely held but false views about the accused and wrongly convicted. Or about the criminal justice system in general. Face your misconceptions I give you twelve of these questionable myths that might already accept without question. How much do you believe any of these statements? Do you believe that people generally get what they deserve? Do you believe that all or at least most prisoners claim they're innocent? Do you believe that high conviction rates contribute to a reduction in crime? Do you believe that the U.S. has the best judicial system in the world? Do you believe that wrongful convictions of the innocent rarely occur? Do you believe that a criminal defendant is more likely to lie than a police officer? Do you believe that if someone gets arrested, they must have done something wrong? Do you believe that no one would confess to a crime unless they're guilty in some way? Do you believe that forensics evidence provides conclusive proof of culpability? Do you believe that the appeals process will correct any miscarriages of justice? Do you believe that eyewitness identification of a perpetrator is consistently reliable? Do you believe that the judge is the most powerful person in the criminal justice system? The more you believe such falsehoods, and dismiss viable claims of innocence, the more likely you are an “innocence offender”. You become something of a “ useful   idiot ” to those who benefit from such general ignorance of the judicial system’s many imperfections.   They're using you Current power structures disincentivize them from alerting you to their failures. They exploit your diminished awareness to hold significant influence over you. They benefit from your naivety for how the adversarial judicial system actually works—or doesn’t work. The more you accept these widely accepted assumptions, the more they are served at your expense. And at the expense of the innocent. Hope Want to do something about it? Well, that comes next. Question your beliefs about 'justice' Do you accept or questions such beliefs? See also: Innocence Denying (Slate article), especially by prosecutors Hofstra Law Review (also from Lara Bazelon ) Innocence Project Injustice Watch NPR Plus: 17 cases of denied innocence

Clinging to false beliefs about the imperfect judiciary can lull you into "innocence offending" Do you ever slip into “ innocence offending ” by treating the wrongly convicted innocent as if guilty? If so, you could be classified as an “innocence offender”. And you would be in good company. Innocence offender: Someone who mistreats a wrongly convicted innocent person as if guilty.   There is no law against violating certain rights of the wrongly convicted innocent, since it was the law itself that illicitly stripped those rights away. Your complicity may be encouraged. But you can resist and instead to the right thing.   Check for yourself by how much you agree or disagree with the following statements. Then see how each gets debunked by AI.   Are you unwittingly an ‘innocence offender’? An innocence offender  is anyone who violates the rights of the wrongly convicted innocent, typically by deferring to unacknowledged imperfections and errors of the adversarial judicial system. In other words, from believing what is not true. From trusting what is false.   You risk being complicit in their violated innocence if you believe and act upon widely held but false views about the accused and wrongly convicted. Until you have experienced the many shortcomings within the adversarial judicial system, you likely accept these falsehoods.   Do you believe any of these? People generally get what they deserve . All or at least most prisoners claim they're innocent . High conviction rates contribute to a reduction in crime . The U.S. has the best judicial system in the world . Wrongful convictions of the innocent rarely occur . A criminal defendant is more likely to lie than a police officer . If someone gets arrested, they must have done something wrong . No one would confess to a crime unless they're guilty in some way . Forensics evidence provides conclusive proof of culpability . The appeals process will correct any miscarriages of justice . Eyewitness identification of a perpetrator is consistently reliable . The judge is the most powerful person in the criminal justice system .   The more you take such things for granted, and dismiss a viable innocence claim , the more likely you are an “ innocence offender ”.   The more you believe such things, and dismiss claims of innocence, the more likely you are an “innocence offender”.   Unlike the adversarial system anchored in alienating laws, need-response anchors itself in liberating discipline of principles called ‘ character refunctions ’. Such as humility, grace, patience, resilience, and more.   Be skeptical of the government, including the judiciary Those who run our judicial system benefit from general ignorance around the judicial system's many imperfections. Current power structures disincentivize them from alerting you to their failures. The more you accept these widely accepted assumptions, the more they are served.   The bad news is this: You become their “ useful idiots ” as they exploit your naïveté for how the adversarial judicial system actually works—or doesn’t work.   Need-response goes beyond the biased-riddled adversarial approach to address all sides more honestly. It holds a higher standard, and instills more discipline, to nurture more of our integrity.   Let’s ask Perplexity to debunk these myths Expand the text to check how this AI debunks these myths. 1. How true is it that people generally get what they deserve? Debunk the myth: People generally get what they deserve. The belief that “people generally get what they deserve” is a common worldview, but it’s more myth than reality. Here’s a breakdown:   1. The Psychological Root: Just-World Belief Psychologists call this the just-world hypothesis —the tendency to assume life is fair and that good things happen to good people, while bad things happen to bad people. It offers a sense of order and control: if the world is fair, then I can avoid misfortune by behaving “right.” But this is a cognitive bias , not reality.   2. Counterexamples from Life Suffering without fault : Children born into poverty, people facing chronic illness, or those hit by natural disasters did not “deserve” their struggles. Injustice : Corruption, exploitation, and systemic inequalities allow people to thrive or suffer irrespective of merit. Randomness : Accidents, chance encounters, or sheer luck often shape lives in unpredictable ways.   3. The Harms of Believing the Myth Victim-blaming : It leads to saying things like “They must have done something to deserve it,” which increases stigma instead of compassion. Disregard for structural issues : It shifts blame from unjust systems (racism, economic inequality, sexism) to individuals. False security : People may overestimate how much control they have, which can magnify feelings of guilt when misfortune strikes.   4. A More Accurate View Life is uneven : Outcomes are shaped by a mix of personal choices, structural forces, opportunity, and luck. Responsibility matters, but not absolutely : Effort and character do influence outcomes—but never in isolation. Compassion is wiser than judgment : Recognizing randomness and inequality encourages empathy, social responsibility, and fairer systems.   Conclusion The idea that “people generally get what they deserve” is not accurate. It oversimplifies a world driven by both human agency and uncontrollable factors. Real wisdom is accepting complexity—people sometimes reap the rewards of their choices, but just as often, circumstances beyond their control shape their lives.   2. How true is it that all or most prisoners claim they are innocent? Debunk the myth: All or at least most prisoners claim they're innocent. The myth that all or most prisoners claim they're innocent is not supported by evidence: in reality, the majority of prisoners admit guilt, and only a minority persistently claim innocence after conviction.   Actual Prisoner Claims Research shows that only about 15% of incarcerated individuals claim innocence of their convicted crime, while most acknowledge their involvement. Surveys and criminology experts consistently debunk the misconception that virtually everyone behind bars claims they were wrongly accused.   Why the Myth Persists Popular culture, media portrayals, and social beliefs have promoted the idea that prisoners routinely deny guilt. However, in prison communities, claiming innocence without supporting evidence can lead to skepticism or conflict among other inmates. Many prisoners openly admit to their crimes, especially those caught "red-handed" or who accepted plea deals.   Wrongful Convictions Rates While it's true some prisoners are innocent, wrongful conviction estimates are typically around 4-6% of the prison population—meaning most inmates are not wrongly imprisoned. Innocence projects and exonerations highlight the reality of lawful errors, but these cases represent a small fraction compared to the millions serving sentences.   Parole and Innocence Dilemma Systems often require prisoners to admit guilt for parole consideration, which creates a dilemma for those who are actually innocent and refuse to confess falsely. Some innocent prisoners remain incarcerated for years, or die in prison, rather than falsely admit guilt. Conclusion In summary, most prisoners do not claim innocence, and the belief that they do is a persistent myth not backed by actual inmate behavior or data.   3. How true is that high conviction rates contribute to a reduction in crime? Debunk the myth: high conviction rates contribute to a reduction in crime. High conviction rates do not significantly contribute to a reduction in crime, according to a broad consensus of contemporary research and statistical analysis.   Marginal Impact of Incarceration and Conviction Studies from multiple decades indicate that increases in incarceration or conviction rates have only a limited—and declining—effect on overall crime rates. For instance, between 1980 and 2000, a 10% increase in incarceration rates was associated with only a 2–4% reduction in crime, and after 2000, this correlation disappeared, with incarceration accounting for virtually none of the subsequent drop in crime. Most major declines in crime since the 1990s are attributed to factors such as an aging population, increased employment, higher graduation rates, and new policing strategies—not higher conviction rates.   No Effect on Violent Crime The crime reduction associated with higher conviction and incarceration rates is limited almost exclusively to property crimes, with research consistently finding no positive impact on violent crime rates. This is because as incarceration and conviction rates rise, more people sentenced are low-level or infrequent offenders, while sentences for violent and repeat offenders would occur regardless of changes in conviction rates.   Potential for Negative Effects High conviction and incarceration rates, especially when concentrated in certain communities, may even increase crime by destabilizing families and communities, leading to diminished economic opportunity and increased poverty. Over-punishing people at low risk of committing crimes can sometimes make them higher risk, further undermining public safety.   Decoupling Crime and Conviction National and state-level trends illustrate that crime rates can drop even when incarceration and conviction rates also fall, as seen in Utah and other jurisdictions. This evidence demonstrates that high conviction rates are not a necessary ingredient for reducing crime, and policy should focus on more effective approaches.   Conclusion In summary: The myth that high conviction rates lead to a significant reduction in crime is not supported by evidence; instead, crime is better addressed through social investments, improved policing strategies, and community supports.   4. How true is it that the U.S. has the best judicial system in the world? Debunk the myth: The U.S. has the best judicial system in the world. The claim that the U.S. has the best judicial system in the world is a myth; internationally, many other countries consistently outperform the U.S. in key areas of justice, fairness, and transparency.   International Rankings According to the World Justice Project and global indices, the U.S. typically ranks outside the top ten in rule of law, judicial effectiveness, and civil justice. For example, in the 2023 Rule of Law Index, the U.S. ranked 23rd globally—behind countries like Finland, Denmark, Norway, Switzerland, and the Netherlands.   Systemic Criticisms The American judicial system faces criticism for issues such as politicization, systemic bias, unequal access to justice, and inconsistent outcomes due to its highly decentralized federal structure. Challenges also include high incarceration rates, lengthy pretrial detentions, and disparities affected by socioeconomic status and race.   Global Exemplars Countries like Denmark, Norway, Finland, Sweden, and the Netherlands are routinely recognized for their more transparent, efficient, and equitable judicial systems. These systems tend to offer swifter trials, more consistent rulings, and higher public trust.   Conclusion While the U.S. judicial system has strengths, particularly in constitutional rights and legal precedent, it is not the top-ranked globally, and several countries offer judicial systems that are considered fairer and more effective by international standards.   5. How true is it that wrongful convictions of the innocent rarely occur? Debunk the myth: Wrongful convictions of the innocent rarely occur. The myth that wrongful convictions of the innocent rarely occur is decisively false; evidence shows that wrongful convictions are more common than most people realize, with thousands affected each year.   Wrongful Conviction Statistics Conservative estimates suggest that more than 10,000 innocent people are convicted every year in the United States alone. Since 1989, at least 3,175 people have been exonerated after being wrongfully convicted, spending a collective over 27,000 years in prison for crimes they did not commit. Recent studies estimate that 3-6% of all prisoners in the U.S. could be innocent, representing tens of thousands of people currently incarcerated for crimes they did not commit.   Common Causes of Wrongful Convictions Eyewitness misidentification is the leading cause, involved in up to 72% of convictions later overturned by DNA evidence. Other significant causes are false confessions, official misconduct, flawed forensic evidence, and perjury or incentivized informant testimony. Flaws in legal defense, such as overburdened or underfunded public defenders, also contribute.   Ongoing Problem and Impact Exonerations are increasing, with record high numbers reported in recent years, indicating growing recognition but also the persistent scale of wrongful convictions. The consequences for the innocent are devastating, including years or decades lost to incarceration, destroyed reputations, and major financial, social, and emotional harm. The data exposes a justice system in which errors and failures can—and do—result in the punishment of innocent people much more often than is popularly believed. Conclusion In summary, wrongful convictions are a significant, recurring problem in the justice system, directly debunking the myth that they are rare.     6. How true is it that a criminal defendant is more likely to lie than a police officer? Debunk the myth: A criminal defendant is more likely to lie than a police officer. The myth that a criminal defendant is more likely to lie than a police officer is not supported by evidence or logic—police officers also regularly lie, both inside and outside the courtroom, and their profession sometimes incentivizes deceit as part of investigations or to protect themselves or colleagues.   Police Honesty and Incentives Law enforcement officers are often held to high standards of honesty, but documented cases and research show systematic police deceit, including lying during investigations, testimony, and even covering up misconduct. Police officers sometimes justify lying as serving a greater good, such as securing convictions, and organizational pressures can further reinforce dishonest behaviors.   Criminal Defendants and Credibility Criminal defendants face strong biases—courts and juries may assume they are less credible due to their status, background, or alleged behavior. However, there is no empirical evidence that simply being a defendant makes one more likely to lie than other participants in the justice system.   Comparative Evidence Officers sometimes lie to obtain confessions (legally permitted in interrogations), protect colleagues, or enhance their own careers. Systematic studies and commissions (e.g., the Mollen Commission on NYPD) have documented widespread police perjury and falsification of official records. The adversarial legal system frequently relies on credibility assessments because testimony from police officers and defendants is often conflicting.   Conclusion Both criminal defendants and police officers have complex motivations and pressures affecting truthfulness, and being a police officer does not inherently make someone more honest than a defendant. The myth persists due to biases and cultural perceptions, not due to any factual basis or evidence.   7. How true is it that if someone gets arrested, they must have done something wrong? Debunk the myth: If someone gets arrested, they must have done something wrong. That's a great myth to unpack, because it touches on justice, fairness, and common misconceptions. Myth : If someone is arrested, they must have done something wrong. Reality : Being arrested does not equal guilt or proof of wrongdoing. Here’s why:   1. Arrest ≠ Conviction An arrest is when police take someone into custody based on suspicion  or probable cause, not proof. Conviction only happens after due process: formal charges, evidence considered in court, and a verdict.   2. Presumption of Innocence In democratic legal systems, people are innocent until proven guilty . This principle exists precisely because arrests can be mistaken or unjustified.   3. Mistaken Identity & False Accusations Innocent people get arrested due to misidentification, false reports, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Examples: eyewitness errors, unreliable informants, or fabricated evidence have all led to wrongful arrests.   4. Biases & Systemic Issues Studies show certain groups are disproportionately arrested because of racial, social, or economic biases—not necessarily because they commit more crimes.   5. Later Exonerations The Innocence Project has highlighted many cases where DNA evidence freed people who spent years in prison after wrongful arrests and convictions.   Conclusion Bottom line: An arrest is not proof of guilt. It’s only an indication that police believe further investigation or legal proceedings are justified. Judging someone guilty just because they were arrested  ignores due process, the presumption of innocence, and the very real issue of wrongful arrests.   8. How true is it that no one would confess to a crime unless they're guilty in some way? Debunk the myth: No one would confess to a crime unless they're guilty in some way. The belief that no one would confess to a crime unless they're guilty is a myth; in reality, many people falsely confess to crimes they did not commit due to psychological, situational, and systemic pressures.   Why Innocent People Confess False confessions happen for various reasons beyond actual guilt, including mental illness, intellectual impairments, and vulnerability to authoritative pressure. Intense police interrogations can break down even mentally healthy adults, especially when conducted over long hours or with deceptive tactics. Juveniles are particularly susceptible to confess due to their impressionability and desire to please authority figures.   Types of False Confessions False confessions typically fall into three categories: Voluntary : Given without external pressure, often to protect someone, as a result of mental illness, or as self-punishment. Compliant : Made under pressure to escape stressful interrogations, with hope of leniency or reward, or to end the ordeal. Persuaded : Confessors come to believe they are guilty due to suggestive or manipulative interrogation tactics.   Systemic and Legal Factors Police are legally allowed to lie about evidence to suspects, which can cause confusion and panic, leading innocent people to confess. Threats, promises of lighter sentences, or plea bargaining can also coerce confessions from innocent suspects. Studies show false confessions are a significant cause of wrongful convictions, with DNA exoneration cases sometimes proving innocence despite confessions.   Evidence and Research Academic research and real-world cases repeatedly demonstrate that innocent people confess to crimes, debunking the myth. Nearly 30% of people exonerated by DNA evidence in the United States had confessed to crimes they did not commit. Awareness of false confession mechanisms has led to reforms, such as videotaping interrogations to protect against coercion.   Conclusion In conclusion, confession is not irrefutable proof of guilt—innocent people sometimes confess due to powerful psychological, procedural, and social factors, which are well-documented in law, psychology, and criminal justice research.   9. How true is it that forensics evidence provides conclusive proof of culpability? Debunk the myth: Forensics evidence provides conclusive proof of culpability. Forensic evidence does not provide conclusive proof of culpability. It is important to understand that forensic evidence is often circumstantial, inherently probabilistic, and subject to limitations and potential errors. Scientific studies, legal cases, and expert analyses indicate that forensic evidence should be considered as one component of a broader investigative and evidentiary context, not as absolute proof of guilt.   Limitations of Forensic Evidence Forensic methods vary widely in their reliability. DNA evidence is considered highly reliable but cannot always clarify how or when the DNA was deposited, thus it may not conclusively prove guilt. Other forensic methods, such as fingerprint analysis or fiber comparison, have been found to have higher potential for error or subjective interpretation. Many forensic techniques lack robust scientific validation, raising concerns about their conclusiveness in court.   Circumstantial Nature and Probabilistic Interpretation Legally, forensic evidence is classified as circumstantial evidence, meaning it implies facts through inference rather than direct observation. Such evidence must be sufficient to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt by excluding other logical explanations for the crime. This requires careful interpretation and corroboration with other evidence such as eyewitness testimony, alibis, or motive.   Errors, Biases, and the "CSI Effect" Human factors such as bias in forensic analysis and errors during evidence collection or processing can impact reliability. Jurors and the public often overestimate the certainty of forensic evidence due to portrayals in popular media (the so-called "CSI Effect"), leading to unrealistic expectations that a single piece of forensic evidence can definitively "seal" a case.   Conclusion Forensic evidence is a powerful investigative and evidentiary tool, but it is not infallible or inherently conclusive of guilt. Its value depends heavily on the context, quality of analysis, and corroboration with other evidence. Courts and legal professionals must apply rigorous standards and skepticism in interpreting forensic findings to avoid wrongful convictions. 10. How true is it that the appeals process will correct any miscarriages of justice?   Debunk the myth: The appeals process will correct any miscarriages of justice. The myth that the appeals process will correct any miscarriages of justice is false. While appeals provide a mechanism to challenge convictions or sentences, they have important limitations that often prevent them from fully correcting miscarriages of justice.   Reasons Appeals Don't Guarantee Correction of Miscarriages of Justice No New Evidence or Retrial : Appeals generally do not involve a new trial or introduction of new evidence; they focus on errors or legal issues in the original trial. This means that if crucial evidence was missed or withheld during the trial, an appeal may not adequately address that miscarriage. High Legal Threshold : The appellate courts require proof of specific legal errors or procedural unfairness, not just that the verdict was wrong. Many wrongful convictions persist because the courts do not deem the errors sufficient to overturn the conviction. Limited Scope on Fresh Evidence : Courts often restrict appeals from considering fresh evidence unless it was unavailable at trial due to exceptional reasons. This restricts the ability to correct cases where new proof of innocence arises post-conviction. Reluctance and Procedural Barriers : The courts and appellate systems are sometimes reluctant to overturn verdicts to preserve finality and efficiency. Legal aid and representation issues further limit successful appeals for those without sufficient resources or legal knowledge. Official Misconduct and Systemic Issues : Many miscarriages of justice stem from misconduct (e.g., police or prosecutorial wrongdoing) that taints the entire process. Appeals may not sufficiently address these systemic problems, which undermine fairness beyond just the trial errors.   Key Misconception Appeals Are Not Automatic Corrective Mechanisms : Appeals are legal reviews focused on trial fairness, not guarantees of correcting wrongful convictions or miscarriages of justice. Winning an appeal might result in a new trial, reduced sentence, or overturned conviction, but this is far from assured or immediate.   Conclusion In summary, while the appeals process is important for justice, it is not a foolproof mechanism that will correct every miscarriage of justice due to procedural limits, evidentiary restrictions, and broader systemic challenges.     11. How true is it that eyewitness identification of a perpetrator is consistently reliable? Debunk the myth: Eyewitness identification of a perpetrator is consistently reliable. The myth that eyewitness identification of a perpetrator is consistently reliable is false. Eyewitness testimony is often convincing but can be highly fallible and prone to errors. Research shows that memory is malleable and subject to distortion without the witness's awareness, meaning eyewitness identification is vulnerable to misidentifications even by confident witnesses.   Key factors affecting the accuracy of eyewitness identification include: Speed of identification : Faster decisions tend to be more accurate. For example, identifications made within six seconds can be twice as accurate as those made more slowly. Confidence level : High confidence can correlate with higher accuracy but does not guarantee it, as confident misidentifications also occur. Face-recognition ability : Individuals vary in their capability to recognize faces, significantly influencing the reliability of their identifications. Lineup conditions : Proper lineup procedures (fair lineup, unbiased instructions, and blind administration) improve accuracy. Unreliable memory : Memory is not a video recording but a reconstructive process influenced by stress, time delay, and post-event information.   DNA exonerations have revealed that a large proportion of wrongful convictions involved mistaken eyewitness identification, underscoring its fallibility. Despite jurors and the public often giving great weight to eyewitness testimony, scientific research cautions that it should not be accepted uncritically. Eyewitness memory is generally reliable only if it is uncontaminated and proper testing procedures are followed.   Conclusion Therefore, eyewitness identification should be carefully scrutinized, with consideration of confidence, decision time, lineup fairness, and individual differences, to avoid wrongful convictions based on unreliable eyewitness memory.   12. How true is it that the judge is the most powerful person in the criminal justice system? Debunk the myth: The judge is the most powerful person in the criminal justice system. The myth that "the judge is the most powerful person in the criminal justice system" can be debunked by understanding the different roles, powers, and limits of judges compared to other key actors like prosecutors, defense attorneys, and juries.   Judicial Powers and Limits Judges play an important role in presiding over trials, maintaining order, ruling on the admissibility of evidence, instructing juries about legal standards, and sentencing convicted defendants. They ensure court proceedings are fair and follow legal rules. However, judges’ power is bounded by laws, legal precedents, and checks such as appeals that can overturn their decisions. Judges do not act alone; they interpret law but do not create it, and their discretion is limited by legislations and procedural rules.   Prosecutorial Power and Influence Prosecutors wield significant power in the criminal justice system, especially before cases reach trial. They decide which cases to pursue, what charges to file, whether to offer plea deals, and whether to dismiss cases altogether. These decisions often have a greater impact on case outcomes than the judge’s rulings during the trial. Prosecutors influence the course of justice through discretion in charging and negotiation, shaping the system’s functioning more broadly than judges typically do.   Other Key Actors and Checks Defense attorneys protect the accused’s rights and challenge prosecutorial power, while juries serve as ultimate fact-finders in many trials by deciding guilt based on evidence presented. This system of checks and balances means no single actor, including judges, holds absolute power. Instead, power is distributed among various participants who interact to ensure fairness and justice.   Conclusion While judges have crucial responsibilities and control court proceedings, they are not the supreme power in the criminal justice system. Prosecutors often have more influence over the initiation and resolution of cases, and the system’s design distributes power among judges, prosecutors, defense attorneys, and juries. Thus, the claim that judges are the most powerful is a myth; power in the criminal justice system is balanced and shared among multiple actors.   Need more independent verification to challenge these views? Ask Google AI                                   Ask Claude                                      Ask Copilot Download your own self-assessment tool. Word document, PDF, or Excel spreadsheet. Word document click to download PDF click to download Excel spreadsheet click to download Are you lulled into serving elites? The more you passively accept these myths, instead of unpacking the falsehoods for what they are, the easier for elites to exploit you. They oversee media production that fan the flames of fear , much to their own benefit at your expense. Why let them?   They benefit when you slip into complicity, violating the rights of the wrongly convicted innocent. You then unwittingly becoming an 'innocence offender' with your complicity in denying the innocent their full rights. Yes, you become a sycophant to elites who benefit from this status quo.   Let’s stop spreading the cultural cancer of adversarialism The more you accept these widely accepted falsehoods, the more easily you are exploited by elites. The more invested in our adversarialist legal system, despite its many faults, the more these elites may try to manipulate your views to defend it.   Need-response prioritizes your inflexible need  over the adversarial law of politics and the judicial system. Those systems routinely fail to faithfully address your affected needs, or to help you remove pain, or help you restore wellness. Only need-response aims to do that. Sources Hal Arkowitz & Scott O. Lilienfeld (2010). Why Science Tells Us Not to Rely on Eyewitness Accounts , Scientific American . Accessed 2025-08-28.

State the cited norm(s) Identify the need(s) to be served by the cited norm(s) Describe the apparent impact on all needs from enforcing the norm(s) The law can only do so much. Need-response takes us beyond minimal legal standards to respond directly to the needs our laws exist to serve. In other words, we ensure our flexible law s " fit "  our inflexible needs . To ensure wellness of all. CONTENTS Why would you need law-fit? The problem of toxic legalism Asserting the greater authority of properly resolved needs Responding to needs over mindless obedience Who benefits? For whast need? Applying the praise sandwich format Use this simple ABC template Affirming paragraph Broaching paragraph Continuance paragraph Example from real life Do it yourself with peer support Law-Fit professional support Need-response offers this service of law-fit to introduce you to this new way to improve your wellbeing. When anyone cites some law or informal social norm, you have them state the need they expect that standard to address. Law-fit : linking a norm with a need to be served. Law-fit serves as an entry level for a much more thorough process of " citationization ". Which dives deeper into this link between any cited norm and its impact on needs and wellbeing. Citationization : process to link flexible norms to accountably serve inflexible needs. Why would you need law-fit ? After doing everything you can to obey the law, you can still find yourself in trouble. Perhaps some lawyer has convinced a court that you are in the wrong, despite the independent fact you are clearly in the right.   To start small, this service focuses first on the wrongly convicted innocent. Have you—or someone you love—been falsely accused and convicted of a crime? Perhaps they were not even there. Or no crime even occurred. Are you fully innocent and not yet exonerated? Are you—or your loved one—unable to get a lawyer to reverse the conviction in court? Are you disillusioned with the legal process ? Are you disillusioned with the innocence movement ?   As this gains ground helping the innocent overcome injustice, it can expand to serve others strangled by the adversarial legal process. For example, those denied insurance coverage for a legal technicality. Or those unduly denied their rights by any aspect of the adversarialist legal system.   Are you ready to give up on the adversarialism of the broken legal system? Are you open to a fresh alternative? Can you see yourself pioneering a new approach of mutual respect for each other’s needs?   Law-fit  radically changes gears. You shift from failing adversarialism to mutual engagement of each other’s needs. Yo directly address the needs our laws ostensibly exist to serve. You break free from mindless compliance to fallible laws to embrace engaging responsiveness to each other’s inflexible needs .   Click this image to engage this principle. Law-fit raises the standard. It holds authorities accountable to the inflexible needs they affect. It shifts from easily contorted legal arguments to the independent accountability of measurable wellness outcomes. You fit the purpose of law to serve each other's needs over passively serving the law itself. It prioritizes everyone's inflexible needs over flexible laws. Use it to overcome the privileged problem of toxic legalism . The problem of toxic legalism Reliance on laws to address your needs only takes you so far. Laws reek of imperfection. The imperfect institutions we trust to create and enforce them slip easily into costly errors.   Need-response identifies and counter five costly errors built into the human laws. Each starts with a benign purpose. Then slips into a painful problem we often overlook. 1. Slipping from personal accountability  to   hyper-individualism . Laws hold us personally accountable for our actions. But risks neglecting the socioenvironmental contexts challenging our needs. 2. Slipping from rational authority  to hyperrationality . Laws emerge from rational authority. But risks suppressing the rich emotional content of our experiences of needs under a shroud of disingenuous rationalizations. 3. Slipping from vagueness  to  overgeneralizing . Laws remain intentionally vague to apply to a wide array of circumstances. But risks privileging exaggerations that avoid dealing with the messy details of our complicated lives. 4. Slipping from impartiality  to  alienating avoidance . Laws remain impersonal to apply equally to everyone. But risks alienating us from each other to the point we no longer personally engage each other. 5. Slipping from punitive enforcement  to  hostile adversarialism . Laws compel compliance by opposing violators with harsh punishments. But risks objectifying you as a presumed offender to the point of opposing the needs you cannot change. The adversarial legal process presumes each side in a conflict must be opposed to the other. Need-response dares to test this assumption. This feature of adversarialism risks provoking mutual defensiveness. The more each side guards their side against the perceived or real threat from others, the less attention they typically give to the affected needs fueling the conflict. Instead of solving the problem, a rush to oppose others risks perpetuating the problem. The more you resist their inflexible needs, the more they must dig in their heels. You typically get more of the problem you ostensibly seek to solve. This adversarial approach generally denies our potential to be more understanding of one another. Law-fit  brings out this overlooked potential in a more proactive way. Asserting the greater authority of properly resolved needs No law is necessary wherever a need fully resolves on its own. For example, no law proves necessary to compel individuals to breathe properly. Or to compel you to drink enough water to function properly. Laws can restrict how you access your water. Laws forbid you from stealing water from your neighbor's well. But no law can forbid you from requiring water. Or from requiring friendship. Or from requiring solitude. No law can legitimately negate your need for security, or for self-determination. If they do, need-respose asserts the higher authroity of properly resolving needs. To properly  resolve your needs means you do not negatively impact the inflexible needs of others. The detached way the adversarial legal system operates tends to illegitimately negate many of our inflexible needs. Law-fit starts with the gacious assumption that such authorities mean well. It seeks to help authorities realign its actions with its founding purpose to respect needs. Over time, many institutions drift from their founding purpose. Law-fit can help authorities recognize their mission creep that undermines their legitimacy. Click this image to engage this principle. We rely on authorities to create and enforce laws. But we dangerously allow ourselves to become excessively dependent on laws to compel others to respect our needs. We allow ourselves to become more alienated. You never have to ask others what they specifically require of you when you convince yourself that following the rules should be enough. Do established rules always cover your exact needs? Law-fit challenges our blind faith in enforcement authorities to ensure the social order. As long as you are not the one objectified as a threat to the social order, it can be easy to hold enforcement authorities at a lower standard. Law-fit asserts the higher authority of properly resolved needs. The more we can resolve our needs, the better we can function. We can all aspire to step beyond the harm reduction standards of law to do something that actually improves each other's lives. We can love. Law-fit challenges the passivity of mindless obedience that undercuts our human potential to be more loving to each other. It reminds us to put each other's inflexible needs over the arbitrary demands of impersonal authorities. Responding to needs over mindless obedience Your needs can never fit the demands of laws. Laws must always fit the demands of your needs, and the needs of others. Click this image to engage this principle. Laws can only guide our actions to address one another's needs. No human law can ever change the needs themselves. Our actions are flexible and rightly fall under the domain of laws. However, our innate needs remain inflexible and therefore supersede all laws. Law-fit reprioritizes our inflexible needs over flexible laws. Law-fit can get us back to honoring the needs of others as we would have them honor our own. It encourages our potential to be more loving to each other. Click this image to engage this principle. Toxic legalism easily separates us from the purpose of law: to faithfully address each other's needs without compromising our own needs. We must resolve our own needs to function well enough to sufficiently respect the needs of others. Impersonal laws can drive a wedge between us, undermining our potential to be more loving toward each other . Law-fit can get us back to honoring the needs of others as we would have them honor our own. Law-fit melts normalized isolation to explore some key questions. Not to defy authority or law, but to get to the helpful purpose of applying some authority or law. Law-fit can help us fulfill the purpose of laws. For the interest of wellness, need-response uses law-fit to ask these two sets of basic questions: 1.    Who benefits  from the cited norm? And at what cost? 2.    What need  does it exist to serve? And what actual needs are being served?   Q1: Who benefits? Cui bono?   Who stands to gain from the establish norm, or from its current interpretation, or from its application and enforcement? How can we know when this benefit is achieved?   By extension, what cost does this norm impose? Who stands to lose from the norm’s enactment, interpretation or enforcement? To what end or to what purpose?   Is norm enforcement premature? What evidence of bad faith warrants this application of the norm?   Why resort to external pressures of norm enforcement? Have intrinsic motivations been first incentivized? Have all mutuality options first been exhausted?   Q2: For what need? Quid egestes ? Since every affected need exists as objective fact , what are the intended and actual wellness outcomes?   What specific need is to be served by the cited norm? Is it serving an inflexible need, or placating a flexible preference? How is that being empirically measured? Click this image to engage this principle. What are the actual needs driving the conflict? Can those impacted by the conflict become aware of these needs with a more conciliatory approach? Or is harsh enforcement the only way to compel a response to the needs the norm exists to serve? How is each affected person and entity able to function as a result of official action? Is anyone even gaging such impacts? How can we shift from alienating enforcement to mutually understand and address each other’s affected needs?   We communicate this good faith intent to resolve needs mutually using the effective format of the "praise sandwich". Applying the praise sandwich format Law-fit nurtures mutuality by utilizing the communication format popularly known as the "praise sandwich". Any bad news gets sandwiched between bookends of good news. More specifically, law-fit lays out three communication modes in these three lawyers. A . A cknowledge the cited norm, and affirm the needs the norm apparently addresses. Good news to them. B . B roach your affected needs. Likely bad news to them. C . C ontinue cultivating mutual rapport. More good news for them. Use this simple ABC template Law-fit applies this simple ABC format to make sure each side addresses the underlying needs in good faith. A. Affirming paragraph Acknowledge any cited norm. Affirm any needs the norm ostensibly addresses.   B. Broaching paragraph Identify how enforcement impacts your actual needs. Especially any of your neglected needs. Assert that your needs and their needs are inflexible, in contrast to any cited norm which remain flexible. Perhaps identify how prioritizing flexible (and fallible) laws over inflexible needs correlates with your poor wellness outcomes (i.g., anxiety, depression, addiction).   C. Continuance paragraph Express your intent to identify and resolve each other's affected needs. You want to earn their trust that you will continue to seek to mutually resolve needs properly, beyond legal minimal requirements. You express your aim to improve wellness outcomes for all, and could help them improve their legitimacy by supporting their resposnives to vulnerable needs like yours. You welcome a dialogue. Do you see how this follows the POSITIVE-NEGATIVE-POSITIVE format of the “praise sandwich”? Can you envision how this can to cultivate and sustain mutuality? Law-fit counters the destructive norms of adversarialism by exhausting all possible mutuality avenues. Only after all mutuality options fail do you assert your held adversarial options . Online public campaign exposing the unresponsiveness of this particular authority. Independent media campaign of you speaking truth to power in this proactive way. Complaining to any ethics boards to test the reliability of any resourse options. Spotlighting the recurring failures of the adversarial process to faithfully serve needs. Exposing any self-serving reactions that resist accountability to serve affected needs. Challenge funding streams lacking performance measures to accountably serve needs. Civil disobedience with attention of a wide array of supporters and the whole world. You incentivize those in positions of power that you both are not foes to each other, unless you both completely fail to support resolving each other’s affected needs with the power of love.   Example from real life I recently applied this format to resond to the State of Michigan. They sent me a letter threatending to garnish my wages for an unpaid tuition bill . But this occurred because of the unjust fallout of being wrongly convicted back in 1993 . Injustice spurs more injustice. Note how I sandwich my concerns between addressing their concerns. I nullify cause for them to get defensive. I negate adversarialism by prioritizing each other's affected needs.   Dear Collection Services Bureau:   My name is Steph Turner and I am acknowledging receipt of a State of Michigan Liability Information Statement. It indicates I owe the state $3,659.16 in overdue tuition, from attending Oakland University’s masters of counseling degree program a decade ago.   Thank you for drawing my attention to this problem of unpaid tuition. I support the State of Michigan to receive all due funding to maintain its educational system, like Oakland University.   I must contest any assertion that ascribes responsibility for this overdue tuition solely upon my actions. I assert my rights to counter this claim, to provide full context that this action ostensibly overlooks.   If I was offered an opportunity in the past to contest the claim, then I missed it. I also join the millions disappointed in the adversarial legal system to properly address such problems.   I am currently developing a viable alternative, called need-response , to counter adversarialism with a more engaging mutuality approach to such litigated problems. It can potentially lead to a better outcome than this ill-informed legal action. You are invited to take part.   I invite you to follow the upcoming podcast   to help us find a meaningful solution to the limits of the adversarial legal process to solve such a problem. More information is to follow.   Thank you, /S/   At the time of writing this, I have yet to hear back. I look forward to providing updates on the Need-Response podcast the letter mentions. Do it yourself with peer support If you have been wrongly convicted and no longer incarcerated, but cannot get a good job or housing, try this law-fit message template. After we refine this tool and gain traction with the authorities, we can branch out to apply to it the wrongly convicted innocenct who are still incarcerated. And eventually apply to others who endure the wrongs of the adversarial legal system. To get started, you can try this Word document template. Simply edit it to fit your needs. Let us know how it works for you. Or drop us a line if you have any questions. Help us shape this to best serve your particular situation and needs. Help us build this service to fit your particular need . Use this Law-Fit discussion for: Exploring how applicable this Law-Fit template is to your particular need. Offering suggestions for how to shape it to suit your particular situation. Sharing how effective or not so effective this is for you. Connecting with others trying this alternative to the adversarial legal process. Your helpful input is already appreciated. Let us help each other overcome the problematic limits of the adversarial legal process. I previously crafted an interactive tool for automatically calculating the viability of an innocence claim. It compares the details of the entrant's case with those cases already exonerated. Then produces a number that demonstrates the likely innocence of the claimant. You can download your own copy by clicking this button. The resulting Estimated Innocence Report offers a boost to the legal process. But it risks falling into the same trap of adversarialism. We are unlikely to fix a broken system with the same tools that broke it. You can supplement your law-fit message with our Responsive Innocence tool. It applies the same praise sandwich format. GOOD NEWS: Identifying and respecting the apparent needs of the complainant. BAD NEWS: Identifying your own affected needs. GOOD NEWS: Inviting mutual regard for each other's affected needs. Click this button to learn more, and to download your own copy.   Law-Fit professional support Law-fit operates on a relatively basic level. We kept it simple enough for any layperson to use on their own. If the contacted authority replies, and you're uncertain how to what to do next, we can take this to the deeper analytical level of citationization . You can receive personalized support by the law-fit creator with one-on-one online sessions. When you are ready, click the 'Book Now' button and find an available time slot that fits your schedule. We offer the first session free with the understanding you will show your appreciation with what you can afford. We will continue offering this support for free for a limited time. Once we gain traction with a viable service, we will likely start charging for this service up front. Keep in mind this is all brand new. We cannot promise anything but a fresh alternative to the disappointing adversarial legal process. If you are innocent and repeatedly ignored by the adversarial judical system, what do you have to lose? Let's create this alternatie to improve your life in ways the law can never do. Let's get back to the power of love. back-to-top

Need-Response: A revolutionary solution to anxiety and depression Video chapters Problem 00:07 Solution 01:04 Mission 01:30 Vision 02:01 Inspiration 02:45 Founder 03:17 Power dynamics 04:29 Pain of unmet needs 05:10 Better than psychotherapy 06:07 Better than law 07:30 Toxic legalism 08:46 Good faith responsiveness 09:58 Hero's journey 10:43 What are the costs? 11:23 Potential applications 12:34 Urgency 13:11 Wellness resistance 14:19 You’re invited 15:48 Steps you can take 16:23 1. The problem                                                        00:07 "Rates of anxiety and depression among U.S. adults, especially younger folks, continues to rise, the latest federal data shows. Nearly 1 in every 5, or 18.2% of adults, reported anxiety issues in 2022. That’s up from 15.6% in 2019.” – US News and World Repor t “The percentage of U.S. adults who report having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lifetime has reached 29.0%, nearly 10 percentage points higher than in 2015. The percentage of Americans who currently have or are being treated for depression has also increased, to 17.8%, up about seven points over the same period.” - Gallup “Depression remains prevalent despite many treatment options. A new study  suggests that this ‘ treatment prevalence paradox ’ is rooted in three key issues: misunderstandings about the nature of depression, overstated effectiveness of existing treatments, and poor accessibility to care.” – Mad in America 2. Solution                                                              01:04 Only need-response  can promise to identify and address the source of such rising rates of depression and anxiety: Unresolved needs beyond one’s control. Only need-response understands how you are naturally anxious and depressed when hindered from resolving your vulnerable needs. Only need-response  establishes your needs as objective facts , occurring independent of your emotional awareness. 3. Mission                                                                01:30 Need-response  aims to identify, address and resolve those needs underserved by all other available options. Need-response  equips you to address powerholders and social structures that hinder you from adequately resolving your powerful needs. Which can leave you anxious and depressed. Need-response incentivizes the powerful to improve your wellbeing. Their professional reputation improves when their guided responsive-ness to your power-affected needs results in measurably better outcomes. 4. Vision                                                                  02:01 With your input, the Anankelogy Foundation seeks to create a viable need-responsive service within a year. You’re invited to follow along by listening to a podcast by the same name. You could help us test this new service, if you’re an innovator who’s eager to create what you yourself urgently need. And if you’re willing to risk trying something untested. Together, we can test and refine it, to establish the marketability of this pioneering service within a year or two, refine it as we go along. To professionally serve clients who have nowhere else to turn. To ultimately improve the wellness outcomes of all involved in this service. No other available service accountably  improves your wellbeing. 5. Inspiration                                                           02:45 I was inspired to create need-response  to fill the gap left wide open by the law   and psychotherapy .  Neither can properly appreciate our political differences or faithfully serve our justice needs. Both try to relieve your pain without fully addressing the needs causing you emotional pain like anxiety and depression. The law can only do so much. Psychotherapy primarily looks inward. Politics remain a mess. Activism falls short. We cannot solve our specific problems from the level of generalizing that created them . 6. Founder                                                              03:17 My name is Steph, a poster child with all that can go wrong with the law. I’m an asexual trans person who ended up on the lifetime sex offender registry for an assault that never occurred. The accuser could not risk being outed as a lesbian, so concocted a bizarre story of sexual abuse. This all exploded during the sex abuse panic of the 80s and 90s . And when many in the public were convinced that LGBTQ+ adults were child recruiting predators , and when no corroborating evidence   was necessary to convict by those who believed such things . I wish I could reach out to her and affirm her same-sex attraction. I wish I could let her know I understand her desperation to protect herself from being rejected by her family, and to forgive her for ruining my life. But the law hinders such reconciliation and resolution. The law can only do so much. Need-response  prioritizes resolving personal needs over serving impersonal laws. When misapplied, the law does not solve needs but easily provokes more problems. Need-response restores the power of love , of honoring the needs of others as our own . Where careless laws hurt, need-response heals. 7. Power dynamics                                                  04:29 Mostly, need-response  levels the playing field between the powerful and relatively powerless. Need-response  addresses power dynamics. Need-response  serves clients who feel powerless in the face of powerholders who negatively impact their lives. Need-response  identifies each client as the RI : “Reporting Impactee” who is impacted by the relationship more than impacting it. Need-response  identifies powerholders as the AI : “Ascribed Impactor” who impacts the relationship more than impacted by it. Need-response  levels the playing field. Both are treated as humans with inflexible needs . The   more each side can resolve their needs, the more everyone’s wellness improves. 8. Pain of unmet needs                                            05:10 Individuals and systems of power don’t resolve needs simply because they wield significant influence. Or because you rely on them to ease your pain. Despite their best intentions, those in positions of power can easily hurt you .  Only by resolving your needs does your pain go away . Neither the law nor psychotherapy effectively address these sources of your emotional pain of anxiety and depression. If only relieving your pain, they risk permitting your needs to painfully persist . There is no such thing as pain or desire apart from unresolved needs .   Pain is not the problem as much as the unmet needs your pain exists to report . Your objective needs subjectively express themselves in your emotions . Only need-response recognizes how you only experience pain  when your body warns you of some excess  to remove . And you only experience  desire  when your body propels you to replenish something depleted . Only need-response  offers to remove cause for your pain, like anxiety and depression. The cyclic pattern for your objective needs 9. Better than psychotherapy                                  06:07 Need-response  goes further than psychotherapy when unpacking emotions. After identifying each affected feeling, need-response links it to your affected needs. Then distinguishes between what you can do about it and what you can't do about it. Unlike psychotherapy's intent to help you feel better, need-response equips you to address those people and things limiting your ability to fully resolve such needs. What you can't personally do about your unmet needs then shifts into what others can do for you affected needs, and what you can do about theirs. Only need-response  recognizes how you only experience depression when your body warns you of a threat to your wellbeing. You only experience anxiety when your body warns you of a threat of something you sense you’re ill equipped to handle alone. Only need-response  recognizes how you only suffer addiction when unable to replenish what your body requires. So you crave whatever offers you some hope for relief from the natural pain of your unmet needs. Only need-response  investigates each source of your emotional pain. Only need-response equips you to speak truth to power  in a way that incentivizes them to listen to those impacted . need-response's 'impact parity model' Instead of trying to relieve your pain from unmet needs, as the legal process and psychotherapy do, need-response  works to remove cause for your pain . 10. Better than law                                                 07:30   Need-response  inspires you to go beyond legal requirements to proactively support resolving the needs of others, to incentivize them to support resolving your needs. The more each other’s needs resolve, the more you reduce or remove each other’s pain. The law cannot remove your pain. When coldly applied, it can unnecessarily add to your pain. While no one sits above the law, no law sits above the needs they exist to serve . Laws follow needs. Need-response  cuts to the chase by identifying the needs any cited law is expected to serve. And then examines how those needs are actually impacted by those in charge. The more you put flexible laws ahead of your inflexible needs, the greater your risk for anxiety and depression. The more you can prioritize your inflexible needs over flexible laws, the lower your risk for anxiety or depression, or for addictions. I learned to put away my depression by removing threats to my purposeful living. My anxiety evaporated when learning how to handle traumatizing events like the wrongful conviction. I suffer no addictions as I promptly replenish the basics my body requires. All by keeping the role of norms and laws in their proper place. Need-response  seeks to do the same for you. 11. Toxic legalism                                                   08:46 Need-response  specializes in helping you identify a common yet overlooked source of your painful problems: toxic legalism . These are the five primary components of this destructive force. Toxic legalism  is where you put flexible social norms over your inflexible needs. It points to five factors trapping you in pain and despair. 1. Hyper-individuality . Where you blame yourself for things beyond your personal control. 2. Hyperrationality . Where you mask your vulnerabilities under the guard of reasonable sounding arguments. 3. Overgeneralizing . Where you cling to comforting generalities to the point you skip dealing with relevant specifics, which could liberate you from the pain you try to avoid. 4. Avoidance . Where you remain alienated from others in the vain pursuit of avoiding any further pain. Which actually traps you in more pain. And 5. Adversarialism . Where you quickly oppose others with an oppositional stance, instead of engaging them to cultivate mutual understanding and potential support. The legal process and psychotherapy are often guilty of these. Such toxic legalism  fuels your anxiety and depression, and can feed your addictions as you struggle to cope with the pain. 12. Good faith responsiveness                                 09:58 Need-response  counters all five of these toxic factors. It sharpens your ability to respond to the needs of others in good faith. Need-response  is nonadversarial . You exhaust all options of mutuality before taking any oppositional stance. Need-response  is engaging . You get to know each other’s affected needs, and explore what each can honestly do about them. Need-response  is nuanced . You delve into the specifics to resolve needs. Need-response  is boldly honest . You dig down deeper into how you actually experience your needs. Need-response  is holistic . You balance what you need with what other’s need. Need-response  takes you from the ordinary realm of toxic legalism  into this extraordinary realm of greater responsiveness to needs. 13. Hero’s journey                                                  10:43 You likely don’t even realize how you’re now trapped in the ordinary world , with your hand stuck in the monkey trap. Need-response  takes you on the hero’s journey from the ordinary world of quiet misery into the extraordinary world of liberation. The hero's journey in the need-response service You go through 16 distinct steps on this empowering adventure to greater wellness. We craft a story to inspire the public how to create meaningful change. You keep private what you must. After entering the extraordinary realm, we sharpen your skills to resolve needs. You return back to the ordinary world a new person, ready to resolve more needs, remove more pain, and improve wellness. 14. What are the costs?                                           11:23  Improving wellness is need-response ’s bottom line. Providers only get fully paid if your wellness measurably improves. If your baseline of anxiety and depression actually improves. Sessions occur online, one-on-one at first. The first session is free, as a trial period. the five phases of the wellness campaign, each addressing a different layer of a problem The process moves through four to five phases. You gain supporters as the process evolves. Unlike the solo effort of psychotherapy as a private health cost, you attract a team of supporters, who champion your cause to speak truth to power . Your supporters benefit from your gains. They share the costs of the service, as they invest in your wellness improvement journey. No insurance panels to impress. No retainer or expensive legal fees. Along the way, you help powerholders to be more responsive to the needs they impact. You help them become better leaders by holding them accountable to your impacted wellness outcomes. You potentially inspire some to mature as transformative leaders. You support them to alter the social structures to be more responsive to us all. That’s the untapped potential of replacing adversarialism norms with mutual regard for each other’s needs. 15. Potential applications                                        12:34 Consider what this visionary service can do for you. It could potentially solve the problem of political polarization . It could potentially solve the problem of wrongful convictions of the innocent . It could potentially solve the problem of source captured journalism. It could potentially solve the problem of student debt and predatory loans. It could potentially solve the problem of medical debt and unresponsive insurance. It could potentially solve many problems undermining our failing institutions. Or we can soldier on with our painful problems and rely more heavily on addictive pain coping methods . 16. Urgency                                                             13:11 Let me be blunt. Without need-response  or something like it, we’re all screwed. We must do better to respond to each other’s needs, before we slip further into the abyss of dismal despair. We need fewer imposing laws and more grace to fulfill the demands of our existent laws. We need less convincing and more understanding. We need less intellectualizing and more love. It doesn’t take a genius to spread warmth with a smile. Love is the answer, when defining love as honoring the needs of others as our healthier selves would have them honor our own needs . Need-response  rekindles our potential to be more loving to each other. Only the professional service of need-response champions these traits in our sacred texts. Only need-response  specifically addresses the source of many folk’s anxiety and depression, by confronting impersonal power structures. Only need-response  dares to bring elites down to our level, as fellow human beings, to show them how we can improve their effectiveness, and then charge them for the privilege. This merely skims the surface of what  need-response could potentially become. 17. Wellness resistance                                           14:19 Yes, need-response radically departs from some of our established norms. It could easily alarm detractors. Those most invested in the unhealthy status quo may resist, and push back. This vision easily provokes the defenses of those reliant on the familiar status quo. Those who benefit from keeping us pitted against each other, instead of working with each other, may pose a threat. And not even realize it. It sounds so strange, so unlikely to work, and easy to dismiss. Perhaps you prefer to play it safe. As a sacred misfit frequently targeted for not fitting into their imposing norms, like gender stereotypes, I am no stranger to violent pushback. As someone spiritually compelled to transcend divisive norms to resolve  needs, which is called a ‘ transspirit ’, I could not play it safe. I continue to endure blowback for being so radically different. Despite earning several college degrees, and having no other trouble with the law, I remain underemployed and poorly housed. Being wrongly listed as a sex offender left me recently homeless for a year. I will need to count upon others to help build this vision. I’m like Nikola Tesla digging ditches , because Mr. Edison couldn’t appreciate his brilliance. Thomas Edison was too invested in direct current to give Tesla’s visionary alternative a chance. But Westinghouse recognized and invested in Tesla’s vision for alternating current. We’re all better off for adopting Tesla’s vision. 18. You’re invited                                                   15:48 Who will recognize and invest in this alternative to legal services and psychotherapy? Who with the means can help establish this vision for cultivating a world with less anxiety and less depression? Are you a disillusioned lawyer?   Are you a disillusioned psychotherapist?   You could be among the most qualified to become its first service providers, called need-responders . Consider this new visionary service as a better way to serve your clients. Consider its potential for you to earn more income . Consider its potential to boost your professional prestige. 19. Steps you can take                                            16:23 Read the full prospectus  to learn more. Go to AnankelogyFoundation.org and engage others taking interest in this new service. Listen to the Need-Response podcast , starting Wednesday 30th of April 2025, and subscribe if you like what you hear. You can follow for free , getting free progress updates in your inbox. And you can invest as little as $5 each month  to help create this pioneering service. Let us co-create what the world needs now. If we don’t, who will? Let us spread the love we all crave. If we don’t, who will? What to learn more about need-response? Learn more about this new service of need-response by listening to the Need-Response podcast . Episodes each Wednesday, starting 30 April 2025. click this image to go to our podcast page

Character refunctions cover the universal principles found in many spiritual paths. Unlike other types of refunctions, you can personally restore wellness by applying these. Need-response utilizes these in a wellness campaign , when the campaigner exhausts all they can personally do to resolve the need behind their wellness goals. PIXABAY STOCK IMAGE: Scripture-inspired qualities that can objectively help to resolve needs. Which do you perceive will be more effective? Keep relying on impersonal rules and ideologies to try to fix our many problems. OR Try relying on universal ethical principles to resolve the needs behind problems. You can find all twenty of these character qualities in various scriptures. You can also find correlations throughout history between application of these laudable traits and improved functioning, or wellness. Likewise, you can observe how the less these principles get applied, the lower the ability to function. Each of these positive qualities exist independent of their subjective interpretation and application. While the context can be relatively cultural, the applicability of such universal principles will affect human functioning the same across all cultures and across time. For example, the less one forthrightly provides all relevant information to address a need that impacts another (i.e., dishonest), the lack of this vital information will objectively diminish the impacted person's ability to fully function. In other words, the less honest, the more problems. Not because of any belief a problem will emerge, but because relevant information is objectively necessary to make good decisions to addressing the objective reality of unchosen needs. Need-response utilizes these qualities as "character refunctions" that each individual can apply with or without others. A refunction is anything that restores function. Elsewhere, we cover refunctions at the interpersonal, power, and structural levels. Check out these character refunctions and how they can improve your life. ONE: Foundational relating TWO: Renewing relationships THREE: Life's challenges FOUR: Reaching excellence Character refunctions brochures Character refunctions list with links Cultivating character ONE: Foundational relating These qualities provide a bit of lubricant to the many frictions in life. 1. Gratitude The more you show your thankfulness, the more your needs resolve. Orient yourself to make the most of what you receive in life and avoid taking it for granted. Position yourself with your attitude to receive more of what your life requires. Affirm other's generosity toward you. Insist others not take your offerings for granted. Spur their gratitude by refusing their exploitation of your generosity. With more gratitude, observe more needs resolv ing.  COUNTERS ingratitude, arrogant entitlement, alienation, impersonal quid pro quo   2. Humility The less arrogant you are toward others, the more your needs resolve. Drop any pretense that you know best for others. Don’t cling too tightly to what you think must be good for yourself. Make room for others to face you honestly and interact with you as authentically as possible. Let your pride balance with your capacity to be critiqued. Nurture the humility in others by not provoking their defensiveness, but instead treating them with kindness. With more humility, see more needs resolve. COUNTERS hubris, unrealistic expectations, presumptive attitude, superiority, pretension 3. Honesty The more others hear you speak truthfully, the more your needs resolve. Say what you need to say without guile. Avoid manipulating others with words you know aren't true. Avoid putting yourself in a situation you feel you must deceive others. Nurture a reputation of being reliable in what you express. Be authentic. Hold others to a higher standard of being forthright with you. See how honesty resolves more needs in your life.    COUNTERS dishonesty, deception, inauthenticity, hiding, distrust, guile 4. Kindness The more you pleasantly smile and encourage others, the more your needs resolve. Refrain from harsh words. Give encouragement to those in need. Smile more towards others, even if they do not smile back. Let your smile sustain your positive attitude, especially in those moments when you don't feel like smiling. Yet be sure your positive regard stays sincere. Be an example of the level of kindness we all need for more civil interactions, leading to more meaningful lives. COUNTERS rudeness, incivility, loneliness, social disconnection, low self-esteem 5. Gentleness The softer you approach others in need of care, the more your needs resolve. Be ready to give a softer touch where appropriate. Stay sensitive to those who appear alarmed by any harshness. They may be going through intense pain, or suffering some kind of trauma. Discern when a scalpel is better than a sledgehammer. Know where it's best to be humble yet firm. Tread softly through a field of wounded soldiers. Avoid reopening old wounds. Let your gentleness help them to more fully heal and grow strong.  COUNTERS brashness, discourtesy, insensitivity, provoked defensiveness TWO: Renewing relationships These qualities turn around the damage we sometimes do to each other. 6. Grace The more you humbly admit your current imperfections, the more your needs resolve. Admit where you are honestly at in life, and not quite where you or others expect you to be. Release yourself from unrealistic expectations, and appreciate getting to your goals one step at a time. Allow room for unavoidable setbacks.  Meet others where they are at, instead of where you may expect them to be. With more grace, observe more needs resolving.  COUNTERS unrealistic expectations, debilitating perfectionism, overreach, disillusionment, self-righteousness, defensiveness 7. Forgiveness The more you let go of your anger toward those who wronged you, the more your needs resolve. Let go of your anger when wronged. Release yourself from your own self-chastisement. View any infringement of your rights as a mistake they can freely admit. Give others the space to honestly admit their imperfections. Rebuild trust by acknowledging your errors toward others. See how forgiveness resolves more needs. COUNTERS grudges, revenge, overreaction, impeding improvements, misunderstandings 8. Atonement The more you rebuild your trustworthiness after admitting a wrong, the more your needs resolve. After letting go of your anger with forgiveness, continue nurturing the relationship by offering to restore any losses. Rebuild trust by compensating others for any damage for actions caused. Respect where others cannot go on without restoring what they’ve lost. Connect with others where they hurt, with empathetic generosity. Respond to other's gestures toward you who seek to rebuild any damaged trust. See how atonement resolves needs.  COUNTERS sugarcoating, distrust, damaged rapport, rationalizations, wasted potential 9. Mercy The more you let go of your rightful reaction to being wronged, the more your needs resolve. Be ready to let go not only of your anger, but let go also of your right to exact vengeance for a suffered wrong. Give more room to restore a damaged relationship by offering to forgo just compensation. Inspire their gratitude toward you with your readiness, willingness, and ability to clear their debts toward you. Engender mercy from others with your humility and remorse. Let your mercy demonstrate your love for others. See mercy resolve more needs. COUNTERS obsessive anger, indulgent retribution, perpetuating harm, violence cycles 10. Justice The more you pursue what is fair for all, the more your needs resolve. There is more to justice than grieving a loss due to violence. Step beyond mere relief to address your needs with others on par with them respecting their needs with you. Hold others accountable who try to ease their needs or wants at your unwelcome expense. While life isn't fair, interactions in relationships are either fair with balanced results or that relationship does not work. Instead of reacting with revenge, embarrass them by responding to their needs better than they respond to yours. Hold both sides to the same standard of conduct for any relation. See how substantive justice resolves more needs.  COUNTERS premature vengeance, mutual defensiveness, self-righteous hurting, conflict porn THREE: Life's challenges These qualities equip you for the many pitfalls you face in life. 11. Endurance The more of life’s discomforts you can boldly take, the more your needs resolve. Tolerate discomfort for as long as you can, and then for a little while longer. Discover your untapped capacity to tolerate more pain than you could before. Stretch your comfort zone, as you realize your body can suffer colder and hotter extremes with little to no lasting harm. Become stronger as you stretch your limits to tolerate more and more. Know you can more fully resolve more needs the more you can endure.  COUNTERS desertion, disavowal, abandonment, premature quitting, resignation 12. Perseverance The further you apply yourself to what must be done, the more your needs resolve. Consistently address needs as long as possible to fully resolve them. Avoid giving up if not immediately seeing expected results. Avoid settling for less than resolving a need. Let it take time to cover all angles. Build momentum. Pause if you must, then pick up where you left off. See this to the end to make the most from all your efforts. See how persevering through even the most challenging tasks can more fully resolve needs. COUNTERS discouragement, compromising standards, missing excellence, complacency 13. Discipline The longer you can delay gratification for what you want, the more your needs resolve. Put off getting rewards until layer. Delay gratification to work a little longer on creating better results. Trust you can endure discomforts a little while longer for sweeter rewards. Since you may not recognize when indulging yourself at another's expense, keep yourself accountable to others you affect. Set a boundary for others not to indulge themselves at your unwelcome expense. Watch how discipline resolves more needs.  COUNTERS self-indulgence, premature satisfaction, discomfort avoidance 14. Equanimity The more you can hold firm amidst calamity, the more your needs resolve. Cultivate your ability to not be easily perturbed by negative circumstances. Realize you can be knocked down a few times in life and still get up. Find how you can grow stronger after healing from each wound. Find your ground and stand firm to resolve needs. See how you flinch less during conflicts when you are more grounded with resolved needs. COUNTERS anxiety, paralyzing apprehension, hypervigilance, retraumatization 15. Resilience The more you get back up after being knocked down, the more your needs resolve. Avoid assuming each painful circumstance shall hold you back. Try bouncing back as soon as possible. Get back on your feet while it still hurts. Realize you can typically endure more discomfort than you likely give me yourself credit. Stretch your capacity to take punishing blows by leaning more on your social supports. Find how resilience allows you to resolve more needs.  COUNTERS victimization, recurring harm, overdependence, helplessness FOUR: Reaching excellence These qualities prepare you to rise to the occasion to fulfill more of your life's potential. 16. Patience The longer you can wait for what you rightfully expect, the more your needs resolve. Allow more time for anticipated results. Wait as long as possible to more fully resolve a need. Avoid rushing into easier alternatives that can keep you from your full potential. Take as much time as necessary to regard all the needs involved. Yet, remain wary of expecting unrealistic results in the name of patience. And avoid exploiting the patience of others. See how properly disciplined patience resolves more needs.  COUNTERS impatience, impetuous pursuits, sabotaging excellence 17. Trustworthiness The more you keep your word and do as you say, the more your needs resolve. Let others faithfully count on you. Build your reputation for being reliable. Be there consistently when you agree to support them in their hour of need. Avoid expecting others to trust you until they can experience you repeatedly supporting what they need of you. Promptly warn others of unrealistic expectations of you, to safeguard your trustworthiness. COUNTERS toxic skepticism, perceived unreliability, poor reputation, social avoidance 18. Generosity The more you give of yourself to others in need, the more your needs resolve. Let goods and services flow through you. Be a conduit through which others can find what they require to resolve their needs. Trust you will receive what your life requires the more you offer what you can give to satisfy what others require. Accumulate only to give. Discover how giving adds meaning to possessing stuff, as your generosity resolves more needs.  COUNTERS stinginess, materialism, hoarding, alienation, economic inequality 19. Empathy The more you see through the eyes of others, the more your needs resolve. Understand others through their own eyes, and less through the lens of your own expectations. Relate to them on their level. Feel their hurt when they are in pain. Feel their joy when life is in sync for them. Encounter their needs as if they were your needs in the moment. Look at life through their experiences, their daily challenges, and their needs in the moment. Let others empathize more with you by being less guarded. Feel more needs resolve with more empathy.  COUNTERS normative alienation, hyper-rationality, stagnant relations, violence 20. Love The more positive regard you show toward others, the more your needs resolve. Value life simply for its existence. Regard each other with high esteem. Honor their needs as you would have them honor yours. As much as it depends on you, and as much as you can, put their needs ahead of your own. At least in the moment when they are most in need. Model to others how you are to be treated by proactively valuing them and their current needs. Be known and affirmed for who you authentically are, as you do the same toward others. Bond with those closest to you. Reinforce each other's positive regard to spread love.  COUNTERS animosity, outrage porn, hostility, disrespect, isolation, hyper-individualism Character refunctions brochures. You can download this list as a PDF trifold brochure. This printable brochure first opens in another tab. You can also download a copy which includes Bible references. Anankelogy recognizes each spiritual path serves human needs with universal principles like these. Eventually, we hope to provide a copy referencing all spiritual paths. Character refunctions list with links Use the link in each of these listed character refunctions to reference each helpful resource. gratitude grace endurance patience humility forgiveness perseverance trustworthiness honesty atonement discipline generosity kindness mercy equanimity empathy gentleness justice resilience love Cultivating character You can nurture these qualities in our need-response development eCourses. The first one is free. The second costs less than a cup of coffee. Viewing these programs requires you to log in to ensure agreement with our terms of use . NR101  Personal Need-Responder Aims to develop your " easement orientation " from prioritizing relief to prioritizing resolve. This course can help bring out your "life challenges" character refunctions: endurance - the more you stretch your tolerance for discomfort, the more pain you can endure perseverance - the more discomfort you can take, the longer you can persevere discipline - the less you habitually react to pain, the longer you can delay satisfaction equanimity - the less provoked by moments of pain, the more you can maintain calm resilience - the more discomfort you can endure, the easier to bounce back from painful setbacks NR201  Social Need-Responder Aims to develop your " conflict orientation " from prioritizing defensive to prioritizing engagement. This course can help bring out your "renew relationships" character refunctions: grace - the more you meet others where they're at, the less you're pulled into conflict forgiveness - the more you get past your anger, the less others guilt your faults atonement - the more overtures to restore loss you caused, the more you melt their antagonism mercy - the more you can suffer loss, the more you inspire others to get past their losses justice - the more responsive to their needs, the more they can be fairly responsive to your needs You begin to develop these qualities soon after signing up for a wellness warmup exercise. You employ kindness, generosity, empathy, and humility. By simply offering to do something that someone requires, you cultivate trustworthiness, gratitude, honesty, and love. Need-response is all about resolving needs, to remove cause for pain, and restore wellness. Both your needs and the needs of others you impact. And just think how it often begins simple enough with one of these basic qualities. If not enough to solve a problem facing you, these help establish your moral foundation . The more you demonstrate such qualities, the more you can attract others to co-create a solution to almost any problem . Essentially, that's what a wellness campaign is all about. Other character refunctions Beyond these twenty, other noble qualities can be added that also lead to resolving more needs. You can apply each character trait this way: "The more we apply [THIS TRAIT], the more our needs will resolve." Our pain will recede, and our wellness will improve. Click the right arrow to expand the text, to see the result from this prompt. Or click the prompted text in purple and see the results in another tab in your browser.. Google AI prompt: list of moral qualities like empathy, grace, honesty, humility, understanding, patience, resilience, mercy, etc Many lists of moral qualities, or virtues, exist across cultures and philosophies, with common themes including compassion, honesty, and justice. While the names and emphasis may differ, most moral qualities focus on how one behaves toward others and the world.  Qualities related to integrity and character Accountability :  Taking responsibility for one's actions and their consequences. Authenticity :  Being genuine and true to one's own personality and character. Dependability:  Being reliable and consistent in fulfilling commitments. Fairness :  Treating all people equally and justly, without bias. Honesty:  Being truthful and transparent in words and actions. Integrity:  Upholding strong moral principles and consistently doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. Justice:  Acting in a way that upholds what is right and fair for all. Loyalty :  Being faithful and committed to people and values. Responsibility :  Taking ownership of one's duties and being reliable. Sincerity :  Acting and communicating in a genuine and earnest manner. Trustworthiness:  Being honest and dependable, and worthy of another person's trust.  Qualities related to compassion and kindness Altruism :  Helping others selflessly, without expecting anything in return. Benevolence :  The quality of being well-meaning and kindly. Charity :  Showing kindness and goodwill toward others. Compassion :  Showing kindness and concern for the suffering and well-being of others. Empathy:  The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Forgiveness:  Letting go of anger and resentment towards those who have wronged you. Generosity:  Giving freely of one's time, resources, and support. Gentleness:  Being mild, kind, and tender. Grace:  Showing kindness and courtesy to others. Kindness:  The quality of being friendly, considerate, and generous. Mercy:  Showing compassion or forgiveness toward someone you have the power to punish or harm. Respect:  Treating others with dignity and consideration, regardless of differences.  Qualities related to self-regulation and mindset Courage:  Facing fears and challenges with bravery. Curiosity :  A strong desire to learn and explore new things. Gratitude:  Being aware of and thankful for the good things in life. Hope :  Expecting the best and working to achieve a good future. Humility:  Remaining modest and open to learning, recognizing one's limitations without arrogance. Modesty:  Being neither vain nor shameless about one's accomplishments. Open-mindedness :  Willingness to consider different perspectives and new ideas. Patience:  Remaining calm and understanding in difficult situations. Perseverance:  Continuing to work toward a goal despite obstacles and setbacks. Resilience:  The capacity to recover from or adjust to challenging life experiences. Self-control :  The power to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior. Self- discipline:  The ability to stay focused and avoid distractions. Self-reflection :  The ability to introspect and increase self-awareness. Temperance :  Exercising moderation and self-restraint. Wisdom :  The quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment.  Also check out these lists online. Virtues List Core Values Virtues list (pdf) Hiring-for-fit values list (pdf) 50+ Positive Character Traits & Examples for Strong Personalities 21 Traits of Good Character Some Lists of Virtues 100+ Positive Character Traits with Examples 80 examples of virtues: What makes us morally good? Also consider The Big 6 Personality Traits , otherwise known as the HEXACO model : Honesty-Humility : Individuals with high scores are sincere, fair, and modest, while those with low scores may be greedy, manipulative, and arrogant.  Emotionalit y : High scorers are sensitive and empathetic, while low scorers are less prone to sentimentality and fear.  Extraversion : Those with high scores are sociable, talkative, and confident, while low scorers tend to be more reserved and quiet.  Agreeableness : High scorers are forgiving, gentle, and patient, whereas low scorers are more likely to be angry and resentful.  Conscientiousness : High scorers are organized, diligent, and prudent, while low scorers may be more disorganized and impulsive.  Openness to Experience :  Individuals high in this trait are aesthetically appreciative, creative, and inquisitive.  If you can think of anymore, please add them to the comments below. Thank you. back-to-top

Institutions pit us against each other, but there is a far more effective alternative that can tap into our love . The " mutuality process " serves as a more need-responsive alternative to presumed opposition. Legal institutions of the judiciary and politics both rely on adversarialism . Adversarialism can be defined as Opposing others largely for the sake of opposition. What's wrong with adversarialism? Adversarialism isn't about constructive criticism. Rather, it goes to extremes to oppose others as if others have nothing of value to offer. Instead of tapping into our human potential to solve problems by relating to each other's inflexible needs or inflexible priorities , adversarialism pits you against others in a conflict. It tends to exacerbate each other's conflict orientation , away from staying open to learning amids a conflict and toward remaining hostly guarded . In his book Rambo and the Dalai Lama, The Compulsion to Win and Its Threat to Human Survival , author Gordon Fellman exposes many shortcomings in such adversarialism. Here are two of my own that complements his words. There are many more. Prematurely provokes defensiveness , often resulting in mutual defensiveness that detracts from each side's potential to fully resolve the conflict. Blind spots get ignored with motivated reasoning . Responsibility gets projected onto others. Little to no effort gets invested in addrsesing each other's affected needs. Prioritizes relieving pain over removing cause for pain, which is unresolved needs. The winner in a court battle or at the ballot box typically receive relief from the pain of their unresolved needs. Since the adversarialist approach does not actively seek to resolve the winner's affected needs, the pain persists to warn of this threat to functioning. The mutuality process in a nutshell The mutuality process utilizes the professional communication format of sandwiching a piece of bad news between two slices of good new. This effectively delivers positive intent, to avoid provoking defensiveness. Another way of characterizing this approach is conveying a Positive, then a Negative, and finishing on a Positive note: PNP. More precisely, the mutuality process employs a simple A-B-C process. A. Affirm the other side's needs Affirm the other side's presenting or identified needs. POSITIVE; GOOD NEWS Adversarialism tends to selfishly assert one's own needs while ignoring the needs of the other side in a conflict. The mutuality approach begins by honoring the needs of others as one's own, as an expression of social love . B. Broach your own affected needs Broach how the other side(s) in a conflict impact your needs. NEGATIVE; BAD NEWS Adversarialism tends to focus on desired behavior without addressing specific needs. Once trust is grounded in positive regard for the other's needs, the mutuality process invites positive regard for one's own affected needs. C. Continue building rapport Continue building rapport to establish intent to resolve needs and conflicts. POSITIVE; GOOD NEWS Adversarialism tends to alienate all sides from each other, and away from one's full potential with the onset of pragmatism creep The mutuality process incentivizes each side in conflict to remain engaged . Let's replace adversarialism with this mutuality process Instead of adversarialism's norm of provoking each other's defensiveness, or reinforcing each side's blind spots and undercutting each other's full human potential, this mutuality approach incentivizes each other's empathy, humility, integrity, forgiveness, and other noble qualities . Adversarialism risks, and often does, drag us down into lower levels of functioning . The mutuality process potentially builds up each other's wellness levels. While the adversarial approach offers relief from pain for the winning side, it tends to perpetuate pain by not fully addressing the winner's affected needs. This mutuality alternative gets to the bottom of each other's pain: each other's unresolved needs. Adversarialism fuels what can be called " pragmatic creep " where we drift from our full human potential into normalizing tolerable pathologies . Let this mutuality process get us back to our untapped potential to love each more. Examples Late payment notice Think of the message you get if falling behind on a utility bill. A . We value you as a loyal customer, and look forward to serving your needs into the future. B . According to our records, you are now 30 says behind on your monthly payment, which could disrupt your service. C . We trust you will attend promptly to this matter, and convey our gratitude if you have already sent your past due payment. Thank you. How I applied this mutuality approach Here's another example. One from my own life . A . I support the state's need to collect any overdue tuition bill unpaid from a delinquent student. B . The amount you claim I owe stems from the school's lawyer delaying approval of my internship placement, and not from my delinquency. C . I invite you to mutually solve this problem by honoring my due process rights. Thank you. Now you try it You can apply this mutuality process in a cover letter with your résumé, to address where you may not meet their preferred level of experience. A . I respect your wariness for hiring someone lacking the years of preferred experience. B . For the last three years, I have conducted thorough research into the best practices for this role. And believe I can offer vicarious experience on par with those already in this role. C . I look forward to demonstrating in an interview how I am the ideal match for this amazing role. Thank you. Need-response process The new professional service of need-response explores some innovative ways to instill this pioneering process. Notice of Responsive Intent (NOI) We start by informing authorities that we are introducing a fresh alternative to failing adversarialism. Memorandum of Responsive Understanding (MOU) Once mutual rapport beings, we negotiate the terms for identifying and addressing each other's needs. Need-Response Action (NRA) Need-response then lays out the steps we take to try to resolve our own needs while supporting the affected needs of others. Declaration of Liberty (DOL) If resistance emerges, we assert our dedication to prioritize the mutual resolution of needs. And declare ourselves ready to unilaterally address our needs wherever lacking cooperation. Work in progress This could take some time to develop. We welcome your input. Comment below what you would like to see in such a mutuality process. And where and how you would like to apply it in your life.