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Are you more of a "truster" or "faither" or "beliefer"? What do these even mean? TLDR Summary Individual belief : Rely upon what one personally thinks as true or not true. Organized faith : Rely upon what one's group declares as true or untrue. Dynamic trust : Rely upon continual interactions to accountably improve awareness. beliefer faither truster FOCUS guard self, avoid pain, relieve pain address what group declares as important properly resolve needs, reach full potential FEATURES low to no engagement socially approved engagement high engagement CERTAINTY low tolerance of ambiguity, craves certainty tolerance by consensus, prefers shared certainty high tolerance of ambiguity, embraces discovery MATURITY low maturity, not at full functioning capacity modest maturity, reach more of one's capacity high maturity, reaching much of full capacity CONTENTS Unpacking these three reliance levels Different realms in epistemic reliance Moral development levels Preconventional beliefers Conventional faithers Postconventional trusters Further distinctions Engagement Certainty Maturity Prioritizing In spiritual expression Beliefer believers Faither flock Truster testers Reactive to pain or responsive to needs Grace and understanding Takeaway Unpacking these three reliance levels Anankelogy , the discipline study of need, recognizes how not all “believing” or epistemic reliance is the same. Dependence on whatever one finds true or untrue mirrors the three levels of moral development.   Consider Kohlberg ’s three main levels of moral development . Preconventional . Moral reasoning relies on avoidance of punishment and seeking rewards. It tends to be egocentric. Conventional . Moral reasoning relies on social norms, as agreed upon by the collective of one’s social universe. It tends toward social conformity. Postconventional . Moral reasoning relies on universal principles that can transcend individuals and cultures. It tends to lead toward human flourishing.    These reliance levels, or "reliability taxonomy", mirror Kohlberg’s three levels. Beliefing . Guarding what one thinks as true or untrue, and typically defensive toward any challenge of such views. It too tends to be egocentric. “ Beliefer ”. Those who defensively guard what they hold as true, while avoiding relating to details that could disconfirm their conclusions. Trusts generalizations as an end. Faithing . Accept as true or untrue based largely on social cues, such as what one’s group accepts as true and untrue. Also tends toward social conformity. “ Faither ”. Those who hold as true and dependable what others in their tribe or social circles also hold as true and dependable. Shares generalizations as an end. Trusting . Vulnerably relying on the most dependable over which one has no control, such as a Supreme Being, while ready to question whatever can be found as not fully dependable. It likewise points toward human flourishing. “ Truster ”. Those who humbly rely upon what they encounter as more trustworthy, while exposing what they think is temporally true to helpful critique and correction. Besides universal principles, uses generalizations as a starting point to explore further.   These levels also mirror the levels of functionality . Trusters tend to sustain peakfunctionality , as they cultivate ways to relate to others and themselves in ways that enable them to promptly resolve their needs. Faithers gravitate into symfunctionality , as they primarily ease their needs according to the accepted social norms guiding their understanding and behavior. Beliefers risk descending into dysfunctionality . as they cope with pain from unresolved needs, and cling to oversimplified conclusions that work against resolving needs.   Anankelogy unpacks how we rely on others, or how we have confidence in what we think as true or untrue, in different areas of our lives. Different realms in epistemic reliance These apply in different realms. One could be a truster in their role as a spiritual leader in a faith tradition. Then be a faither in their political ideology, going along with other partisans. While being an adamant beliefer in the criminal judicial system, avoiding its disconcerting imperfections. It's more likely, perhaps, that one would gravitate to just one of these three levels in all realms in their life. The more mature with wisdom would gravitate toward being a truster . The less mature and unwise would slide toward being a beliefer . Moral development levels These three epistemic reliance levels mirror Lawrence Kohlberg's levels of moral development. Preconventional beliefers FOCUS . The beliefer tends to focus mostly upon the self . A list of unresolved needs prompts so much emotional pain that they tend to become self-absorbed. For example, the alcoholic (or shopaholic drug addict, sex addict) typically cling to their beliefs that offer the quickest relief. Which can be far from the actual truth. FEATURES . The beliefer defensively guards what they think is true or untrue, actively resisting critique, For example, when pseudoscience aficionados denounce any helpful critique. As they identify with their ungrounded beliefs, any critique feels like a personal attack on them. CERTAINTY . The beliefer typically demonstrates a low tolerance for ambiguity. Their high level of emotional pain, from unresolved needs, prompts them to crave certainty. For example, an extremist political activist feels their ideological views must be right. They simply cannot afford any room to doubt their political convictions or biases. MATURITY . A beliefer is likely dysfunctional . They typically prioritize relieving the pain of their many unmet needs. Which hinders their personal development. For example, the self-righteous partisan depends on their underdeveloped view of the world. Dissenters fit neatly into their overgeneralized category as the "bad" people. Conventional faithers FOCUS . The faither  tends to focus more upon the social realm . What they rely upon as true is best confirmed by others in their social groups. For example, the devoted partisan of any political party finds assurance when others of similar views affirm their beliefs. This can be a good thing, when fellow partisans they trust have carefully examined their views. But can also be a case of the blind leading the blind. FEATURES . The faither  gravitates towards what others in their group find reliable. They often evade critique from others outside of their group. Groupthink abounds. For example, the guilt-ridden churchgoer assumes we all fail at times to make responsible moral choices. Then regards as too liberal to admit the times we can be stuck with poor quality options. Which pulls us into symfunctionality . CERTAINTY . The faither  craves shared certainty over putting up with any ambiguity. Some uncertainty can be endured when shared with others in their groups. Otherwise, any doubt feels like a sin. For example, litigants in a court battle may cling to what they find familiar, as they both sink into mutual defensiveness. Which limits their scope. The less aware in their legalist myopia, the further they slide uncontrollably into the abyss of symfunction capture . MATURITY . A faither is primarily symfunctional . They tend to prioritize easing their needs in ways that never fully resolve such needs. For example, ethnocentric club members who oppose outsiders grow accustomed to never fully resolving their needs. And likely blame their emotional pain on outsiders. Postconventional trusters FOCUS . The truster  tends to focus primarily upon deeper unity . What they hold as true points to universal principles unshakable in any circumstance. For example, the deeply spiritual person relies more on principles like humility , empathy , grace and love . They intuitively realize how applying such principles will almost always result in more resolved needs, more wellness and less pain. FEATURES . The truster  humbly relies on trustworthy others. They invite their helpful critique. They know the limits imposed by their own biases. They remain open to learning. For example, the effective investigator relies on tools to check their biases, and their untested assumptions. They will be slow to act on beliefs they have little to no evidence to support. CERTAINTY . The truster  demonstrates high tolerance for ambiguity. They promptly embrace pain to identify what threat prompts such a painful warning. Then they remove the threat, or themselves, which faithfully removes such pain. For example, the martial artist flows through space like water. They quickly note the movement of others. They rapidly move through the air with sharpened intent. Contact with a foe bounces of a deeper reality. They move toward their pain and embrace it. They face any discomfort honestly, and let it go. Pain is not a foe but a fleeting gift. MATURITY . A truster may reach peakfunctionality . They will prioritize properly resolving needs . Which enables them to promptly restore wellbeing and remove pain. Not only for themselves, but potentially also for others. For example, a spiritual guru regards the needs of others as equally important if not more so than their own. They shape their life to avoid negatively impacting others. They encourage and even inspire all to reach more of their full potential. Further distinctions Engagement Beliefers rarely engage, and instead often barricade themselves inside a cocoon of presumed safety.   Faithers rarely engage on a personal level, preferring to follow group leaders who do the risky engaging first.   Trusters more openly engage, and risk the unknown, as they endure the discomfort for the likely reward of spiritual growth.   Certainty Beliefers crave certainty. They present a low tolerance for ambiguity. Faithers share uncertainty. They present a low to high tolerance of ambiguity.   Trusters embrace uncertainty. They present a high tolerance for ambiguity.   Like Socrates, they are judiciously agnostic to remain open to learning. Trusters welcome disconfirming information. They welcome the discipline of not acting on their own unchecked biases. Maturity Beliefer  - nothing else matters to consider; haughtiness, ambiguity intolerance, avoid exposing vulnerabilities. Faither - other matters to consider but can't be relevant; impression managed humble front, certainty with group, myth following. Truster  - other matters to consider that could be relevant; humility, grace, honesty. Prioritizing Beliefers prioritize the self. "My needs matter more than your needs." "My wellbeing matters more than your wellbeing." "My beliefs and feelings matters for than your beliefs and feelings." Faithers prioritize the group. "Our needs matter more than their needs." "Our wellbeing matters more than their wellbeing." "Our beliefs and feelings matters for than their beliefs and feelings." Trusters prioritize all humanity equally. "No one's needs matter more than anyone else's needs." "No one's wellbeing matters more than anyone else's wellbeing." "No one's beliefs and feelings matter more than anyone else's beliefs and feelings." In spiritual expression Beliefer believers Beliefers can recall a deep spiritual experience they once had, but tend to credit it to their beliefs (what they hold as true or not). They may have actually experienced a moment of vulnerable trust they found rewarding, but misinterpret the degree of their own agency. For example, a neophyte Christian verbally credits their "born again" experience to citing the sinner's prayer to God, or to Jesus, and regards their choice of words and parochial attitude as playing a significant or central role in their conversion experience. Such beliefers gravitate toward dogmatic views. For them, things must be a certain way in order to get back to that rewarding experience. Right and wrong are categorized into simple terms. Nuance can be seen as risking appeasement, or slipping into illicit compromises. For example, that new Christian may guard traditional gender norms as absolute in order to remain in the good graces of a wrathful God. To socially mingle with others who defy such norms risks watering down God's "truth" and then backsliding . Such beliefers may cling to their religiosity and reasoning skills to cope with the mounting pain of their unresolved needs. They tend to prefer familiar pain over the unknown pain of challenging spiritual growth. For example, the young Christian interprets salvation as a way to escape intensifying emotional pain. Instead of recognizing how such pain warns of unmet needs, they become viscerally attached to the familiarity of how they handle these painful emotions. Faither flock Faithers interpret their spiritual experiences through the lens of similar others and group consensus. Fluid spiritual experiences readily congeal into religious dogma. For example, a recent convert looks to earlier converts to get some bearing. They may dismiss their skepticism as not knowing enough yet to assess the group's views. The more satisfied with the group while seeking belonging, the less they assert their individuality. Critical thinking can take a back step to save room for group cohesion. Some faithers rise to a role of lay leader or even a top position such as a head pastor, priest, iman, or rabbi, and (knowingly or unknowingly) exploit the beliefers in their midst. Often from a "democratic" mindset of attracting followers by appealing to lowest common denominator instincts. For example, an imam tries to inspire the faithful to fully appreciate tawheed in their spiritual lives, but many take this oneness of God as a shared cognitive belief and miss vulnerably relying upon God alone for what they specifically need right now. Many faithers gravitate toward sharing a consensus of what matters most to them. They champion the conventional norms of their faith tradition, while not sure what to do with the more unconventional practices or principles espoused in their scriptures or traditions. For example, as the adherent of a cult identifies more with its dogma, they may rely on the group's support in opposing those outside the group with contrary views. They feel special in a way they likely never felt before. Faithers who remain socially and intimately connected to trusters can evidence more cognitive and spiritual maturity than faithers tapped only into other faithers . Crowdsourced wisdom works best when fueled with a source of accountable wisdom, and not left to the devices of groupthink. For example, a priest at a local parish may provide needed perspective to those new to the faith. He may inspire his flock to empathize with non-Catholics. To not judge others, and to maintain the wisdom of learning from others in humility. Truster testers Trusters  entertain the possibility that much of what they assumed as true is not so true. Not that they swing to the opposite extreme of assuming it all must be false, but to stay open to exploring nuanced details previously overlooked. For example, the maturing Daoist lives the opening verse of the Tao Te Ching , "The Way that can be described is not the eternal Way". They stay open to improving their awareness. Not for the sake of mere knowledge, but to tap into the fullness of life. Trusters rely less on things, like doctrines, and focus more on the innate value of people. They demonstrate the supremacy of love , of honoring the needs of others as one's own. For example, the evangelical missionary shares the love she experienced with her trust in God. If that requires her to drop her familiar messaging norms to adopt local cultural tropes, then so be it. The connection means more than insisting on cultural familiarity. Such trusters  tend to be interspiritual . They typically remain independent of any single faith tradition, as they draw from all spiritual wisdom. They may be misinterpreted by faithers as people-pleasing chameleons. Thy prioritize deep connection over social cohesion. For example, an imam can tap into the Jewish wisdom of "wrestling with God" to find deeper truths, while applying Buddhist teachings about the Middle Way, then capture a Christian understanding of personal sacrifice for others. All while remaining true to the core tenants of Islam. Spiritually mature trusters  respond more than react to challenges in life. They turn such challenges into opportunities for growth, for maturity, and for creating shared value. For example, an interspiritual Sikh can absorb the harsh judgments from a beliefer Hindu while also not reacting to an inconsiderate faither Muslim. They will look for some way to identify and relate to their inflexible needs . They will bee sure not to add to their problems. They will try to turn the challenge into opportunity for shared development. React to pain or respond to needs Love remains the ideal of honoring the needs of others as one's own . Beliefers are often too self-absorbed to positively regard the needs of others. Many beliefers improperly or properly relieve the pain of their many unmet needs . They slip into dysfunction . Faithers gravitate toward social conformity. Hence, many faithers improperly or properly ease their needs without fully resolving them. Which pulls them in a state of symfunctionality . Trusters are in a better position to properly resolve needs . The more their own needs fully resolve, the easier to regard the needs of others. They reach moments of peakfunctionality . REACT   or   RESPOND Now visualize a continuum of beliefers who primarily REACT to the pain of unmet needs to trusters who effectively RESPOND and resolve needs to remove the pain. Beliefers and many faithers can be characterized as REACTIVISTS. They habitually give kneejerk reactions to problems. They tend to overgeneralize their situations, avoid any discomfort, as they gravitate toward indulgent side-taking . For example, reactivists  use labels like terrorist or militant without context of asymmetrical blowback or negatively impacted inflexible needs . They're beliefers   or maybe faithers . They easily drift into warmongering that feeds the military industrial complex. They champion the path to hostilities and mutual defensiveness, easily sinking into hate and war. Pain begets more pain. Trusters and some faithers  can be characterized as RESPONSIVISTS. They routinely respond thoughtfully to the needs around them, without imposing their own. They see the relevant nuance in situations, embrace any discomfort that warns of threats, as they step beyond self-serving adversarialism to mutually understand and respect each other's needs. For example, responsivists recognize the urgency of the affected needs of so-called terrorists or militants, while ready to challenge or condemn the reactive violence that spring from desperately trying to redress such needs with force. They're trusters . They support all affected to return to thriving, to human flourishing, where any use of force is limited and a last resort. They champion the path to meaningful peace and love . Grace and understanding   Grace exists as that universal principle of meeting you where you’re honestly at. If you honestly fit these less than laudable descriptions of a beliefer  or a faither , then you need not be shamed for it.   Life has put you in a dreadful spot where your options to fully resolve needs often gets limited. As a natural consequence, you cannot function to your full potential.   In other words, you must resort what you find available. You prefer to take table crumbs than nothing at all.   If painfully isolated from others, you understandably gravitate toward relying on what you can individually think as true or not. If surrounded by similar others whose view resonate with your experiences, then you understandably rely on what your group holds as true.   If you rely upon continual engagement of what you can perceive, and welcome accountability for what you think is true or untrue, then you might feel quite different from most of those around you. “Wide is the gate” for beliefers and faithers .   With anankelogy  recognizing the object fact of natural needs , we can do better to understand each other. To appreciate where each other is at, with grace. And then to love  others by honoring their needs as our own—even if they do not reciprocate.   Awareness of being valued for who you honestly are is worth far more than mere knowledge about things. Let this wisdom inspire you to be loved and give more love. We all need love. Takeaway Belief :  Rely upon what one personally thinks as true or not true. Prone to much error, which easily prompts more emotional pain. Faith :  Rely upon what one's group declares as true or untrue. Vulnerable to groupthink, which can steer them toward quiet desperation. Trust :  Rely upon continual interactions to accountably improve awareness. Risks indecision if not cultivated wisely.

Nature insists on filling a void. Including the many voids within ourselves. And those voids between others and oneself, prompting intimacy. Gender serves as a key dynamic nature uses to compel us toward balance. Author-created animated GIF: click on this GIF to see a still image of it below Which do you generally find most agreeable? Gender differences are all socially constructed. OR Gender differences are created by God. OR Gender organizes our outward and inward attention to attend to our needs. When I came out as trans in the early 1990s, there were still lively discussions about the cause or etiology of transgenderism. What would make someone born in one gender to seek to be the other gender? One idea arose suggesting this could be a gift. Instead of feeling ashamed for not fitting into gender norms, perhaps nature or even God compelled the trans person to move beyond stifling gender norms. That the trans phenomenon was nature's way of filling a void. That idea was swatted down. It seemed to assert trans people are special, when many on the right were complaining how LGBTQ+ people wanted special rights. Other trans folks keep this notion alive , but the dominant narrative emerged that the reason for feeling compelled to transcend one's birth ascribed gender was because of having a different gender identity. I went along with the ride, for survival. But it never fit me fully. You see, at the same time, I was also embracing my indigenous heritage and "Native American" spirituality. Interpreted words did not matter as much as the power of nature to resolve needs. Spirituality as a force of nature For a moment, I flirted with the idea of identifying myself as two-spirit . But that did not fit either. Instead, I now see myself as a " transspirit ": spiritually compelled to transcend stifling norms in order to connect more deeply with life's full potential . This covers not only gender norms but any socially constructed norm congealing into barriers to fully resolving needs. It could be characterized as interspiritual , transcending religious beliefs that compromise full spiritual connection. Yes, think of being trans as spiritual . Wherever social norms impede full spiritual growth, nature compels some to transcend those barriers. Gender perhaps is simply the most salient aspect of this phenomenon. Gender organizes aspects we regard as more masculine or more feminine. Gender differences begin around a seed of natural complementary distinctions. The less mature we become, those subtle differences can solidify into rigid barriers to mature spiritual growth. Gender balancing act Think of the trans experience as countering this imposing solidification of gender norms, and then returning us to reach more of our full potential. What starts with gender drives much deeper into the full spectrum of life. Let's look at a series of complementary gender traits and how they can slip into conflicting extremes. Then see how the trans thing spiritually compels balance to optimize both gender-associated traits. (Click the 'GO' after each listed pairing to dive deeper.) Balancing masculine rationality with feminine emotionality [ GO )] Balancing masculine objectivity with feminine subjectivity [ GO ) Balancing masculine protection with feminine nurturance [ GO ) Balancing masculine independence with feminine dependence [ GO ) Balancing masculine competition with feminine cooperation [ GO ) Balancing masculine riskiness with feminine caution [ GO ) Balancing masculine aggression with feminine passivity [ GO ) Balancing masculine control with feminine complaint [ GO ) Balancing masculine boldness with feminine shyness [ GO ) Balancing masculine decisiveness with feminine reflectiveness [ GO ) Balancing masculine annoyance with feminine anxiety [ GO ) Balancing masculine forcefulness with feminine gracefulness [ GO ) Let's dive into each of these. First, a word about this spiritual dimension. And how spirituaility serves our needs to fully function. Spiritually compelled balance involves gender-associated traits Almost every need involves an inward focus and an outward focus . Your need or water, for example, prompts you to find a source of water outside of yourself , to draw into yourself this natural resource to restore your body's fluid and temperature equilibrium. This lateral inward-outward dimension intersects with a vertical dimension. You're either need-responsive and find water to fully resolve your thirst, or you're feel-reactiv e when gulping down a sweet drink to placate but not fully satisfy your bodily need for water. Gender generally organizes these internal and external components of our experiences. Masculinity generally covers the external or outward emphasis. Femininity generally covers the internal or inward emphasis. And both applies to all. We all experience both sets of these gender-organized qualities. The more your outward and inward foci can blend, the generally more responsive you can be to the needs you encounter—both yours and other's. The more you can properly resolve needs , the more you draw closer to human flourishing. When focusing more on inward than outward, or more on outward than inward, you cannot adequately address your needs. The less your needs resolve, the less you can function and the more you suffer pain. You become prone to vacillate between extremes. You become more feel-reactive than need-responsive . You slip into disconnection. Into mounting pain. Into a debilitating void. Nature seeks to fill the resulting void. Nature propels you toward balance, whether you agree to go along for the right or resist such compulsive balancing with all your might. This compelled integration of these gender-ascribed internal and external directions can be understood as spiritual, as compelling a deeper connection with human potential. Spirituality as a force of nature Anankelogy defines "spiritual" as relating to almost all that exists outside of oneself as connected in some need-impacting way with almost all that exists within oneself . Various thinkers, theologians and faith leaders likely use a more expansive definition, or simpler one. But anankelogy must keep its use of spirituality to what can be empirically measured. While ostensibly subjective, this disciplined understanding of the objective fact of needs utilizes the tools of social science to isolate the more objective components of such phenomenon. For example, a scale to self-report one's degree of experiencing themselves connected "with the universe" could be correlated with their level of resolving such inflexible needs as: "having a sense of purpose in life", "finding meaning in suffering", and "actualizing love as encountering the needs of others as vital as one's own". Anankelogy recognizes nature as a powerful force compelling us to redress such needs. Once evoked , you tend to address your needs within a pattern of gender-ascribed traits. Of your outward and inward attention. These traits either complement or compete, depending how balanced or imbalanced you experience them. Gender holism as a balancing act Nature pulls us with the emotional power of desire and pain to reach more of our full potential for comprehensive wellness. Which anankelogy labels as peakfunctionality . Many inward psychological and outward sociological factors emerge during life to prevent us from sustaining a peakfunctional level. Between social barriers to essential resources and personal habits that neglect resources, we slip into what anankelogy calls symfunctionality . We slide into a lower level of wellness. Accompanied by mounting pain. Too many of us get trapped in what anankelogy calls symfunction capture , which tends to pull us into comforting generalizations. When entertained, these generalities pull us into contrasting extremes. Vacillating between opposing extremes To cope with the never-ending despair, we vacillate between extremes. We gravitate toward the myth that relief can be gained at the other side's expense. Which guarantees we remain imprisoned in pain. Balancing complementary sides Transspirituality melts those barriers to essential resources. With the power of love, which honors the needs of others as our own. Emotional desire to satisfy own wants evolves into desire to see what's best for each other. Where an excessive inward focus for self-interest compromised wellbeing, a complementary outward focus on what others need brings some needed balance. Same with any other gender ascribed trait slipping into clashing sides. Transspirituality insists a balance of both inward and outward foci. Slowly at first. Oscillating toward a balanced center Transspirituality compels balancing these complementary gender traits, to reach more of our potential wellness. An inward focus moves toward an outward focus, to experience more of the rich depths that life has to offer. Frustrations gives way to clarity. Despair melts into joy. Meaningless dissolves into purpose. As wellness improves, pain fades as the threats to wellness slip way. Wholeness can be glimpsed right around the corner. Encountering the holistic center Transspirituality compels wellness, by prioritizing properly resolving needs . Which includes balancing inward and outward foci on access essential resources to resolve needs. Such spiritual compulsion comes with a profound sense of oneness with the whole universe. Whatever I do to another, I intuitively recognize, I ultimately do to myself. The more I love them for who they authentically are, the more I love myself for who I authentically am. Resistance from the conventional minded For those trapped experiencing these gender traits as contradictory, and only encountered during moments of sex, this transcendence of gender norms feels strange. And viscerally unacceptable. Reactive norm enforcers target two kinds of people. Those who violate the law for selfish gain and those who transcend the law for universal gain. I am of the latter. (click the arrow at the left to find how.) I am spiritually compelled to properly resolve needs ahead of considerations of law. Needs exist as objective fact , inflexible to law. Laws exist largely as social facts, flexible to the reality of inflexible needs .   In 1993, while coming out as transgender to Janet, my trans sibling, a young lesbian took curious interest in Janet. If only she could be as boldly open as Janet.   When caught not being home on time by her apparently homophobic mother, this young lesbian fabricated a story of being abducted and assaulted. It would show she was not there on her own accord, although she was. I fully understand her urgency not to be outed as a lesbian to her homophobic parents. I can see how she twisted her parents' homophobia toward her favor. Her claim of being assaulted fed into popular transphobic tropes of the time, especially the one casting LGBTQ aduls as child recruiting predator s .   Learn more about transphobic tropes ... Transphobic tropes are recurring, harmful narratives in media and culture that vilify or mock transgender people. Common tropes include framing trans individuals as deceptive predators, focusing solely on tragic narratives, using cross-dressing for comedy, presenting transition as a joke, or portraying trans characters as mentally ill or violent . www.geekmelange.com  +4 Common Transphobic Tropes and Narratives: The Deceptive Subject:  Trans people are portrayed as engaging in "dishonesty" or fraud, usually involving a hidden, sexualized reveal meant to disgust or humiliate others. The Dangerous/Psycho Villain:  Popularized by movies like Silence of the Lambs  and Psycho , this trope links trans identity with extreme violence, insanity, and murderous intent, often confusing cross-dressing or, in these cases, misogynistic pathology with being transgender. The Tragic Victim/Tragic Existences:  Trans characters are frequently killed off, victims of violent crime, or depicted as having no option but a miserable life, reducing their existence to trauma. The "Tr*nny" or "Shocked Reaction" Trope:  Comedy or drama that uses the existence of a trans person as the punchline, or focuses on the violent, horrified, or vomit-inducing reaction of a cisgender person finding out someone is trans. "Born in the Wrong Body" Narrative:  A limiting trope that suggests all trans people hate their bodies and that transitioning is only about fixing a "broken" body rather than social, legal, or other personal aspects of identity. The "Predator in Restrooms" Fearmongering:  A political trope often referred to as the "trans agenda," which baselessly positions trans people as threats to children or women, particularly in bathrooms, say GLAAD reports. Mockery of Pronouns/Appearance:  Focusing entirely on whether a trans person "passes" or intentionally using incorrect pronouns and names (deadnaming). Trans People Are Mentally Ill:  Characterizing being transgender as merely a mental illness, delusion, or "trend," rather than a valid identity. "They are Indoctrinating Children":  Suggesting that trans visibility is a "coordinated effort" to harm children or influence them , according to GLAAD reports. www.geekmelange.com  +9 These tropes, as discussed by organizations like GLAAD and TransActual , serve to dehumanize, reinforce transphobia, and justify discrimination. GLAAD +2 Ractive norm enforcers then punished me under the guise that I violated the law for selfish sexual gain. This fed their confirmation bias , to not consider alternatives. If a prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich , and no corroborating evidence is necessary for convicting sexual misconduct , this was a slam dunk.   Any law official failing to identify and address the needs involved risks losing legitimacy. To these defenders of conventionality, life is full of zero-sum games. In any conflict, one must take a side . You're either a winner or a loser to the latest battle. They will more likely seek to relieve pain than remove cause for pain when they do not seek to resolve the underlying needs prompting the pain. Their limited perspective denies them the wisdom to appreciate these balancing dynamics between complementary gender traits. Transgender as compelled gender balance Think of the transgender phenomenon as nature filling the void that occurs when slipping into contradictory gender sides. Wherever the masculine trait is dominant, the feminine trait tends to get neglected. Wherever the feminine trait is dominant, the masculine trait tends to get neglected. Imbalance emerges and often gets normalized. We cannot reach our full human potential without integrating our masculine and feminine qualities. By letting one side dominate to the neglect of the other, we fit neatly into social norms as "men" and as "women" so we can adequately function with each other. Being cisgender is largely "symfunctional". REACT - masculine trait OR feminine trait as dominant - symfunctionality (Sf) The cisgender typically experience sexual attraction to someone of the opposite gender as the key path toward gender trait balance. They remain dependent on the other person to complement their own one-sided gender trait. This is the traditional gender norm . If failing to complement each other, they risk sliding into gendered extremes. Where the masculine trait allows no room for feminine potential, or where the feminine trait excludes space for masculine potential, wellbeing can collapse into dysfunction . OVERREACT - masculine trait OR feminine trait as exclusive - dysfunctionality (Df) As this symfunction  or dysfunction of conflicting gendered sides gets culturally normalized, wellbeing typically declines . Such cisgender may cling to the cultural familiarity of clashing gender sides, further trapping them in dysfunction. Ironically for the transphobic, less is somehow more. To be absent of the opposite gender trait means they can be more of a normal person. This tends to correlate with increased sexual energy to compel them toward gender balance. Which some project onto the trans person they do not adequately understand. RESPOND - masculine trait & feminine trait integrated together - peakfunctionality (Pf) Nature compels the transperson to transcend such arbitrary barriers to full potential, by internally integrating these complementary gender traits. They can independently reach more of their full potential without waiting for another person to "complete" them. Embracing both gender sides can become an exhilarating experience of profound oneness. Such a trans person may be initially compelled by sexual energy, much as the cisgender. But after taking responsibility for this initial sexual pull toward intrinsic gender fullness, they promptly experience a deep sense of peace. Of oneness. Of deep connection. The more the trans person integrates their gender sides into a holistic oneness, the role of sexual energy to compel this union naturally subsides. Cisgender observing this from the familiarity of their own gender disunity may project their own sexualized experience, and misinterpret the trans experience is some kind of sexual expression. Trans are not motivated by sexual desire to "crossdress" as commonly assumed by many cisgender. Rather, the trans person yearns for this peace which they find when integrating both gender traits, toward human peakfunction potential. To resolve more needs to reach greater wellbeing and remove more pain. Let's apply this to a dozen gender pairings. 1. Balancing masculine rationality with feminine emotionality Do you see yourself championing rationality to keep your emotional impulses at bay? Or do you experience yourself as emotionally intelligent, who's wisely in touch with your own feelings? REACT - Sf: rational OR emotional Outward looking rationality sits in tension with inward looking emotionality . Some situations call for more of one than the other. In novel situations, you best stop and reflect before you act. In familiar situations, you can reliably trust your gut feelings. OVERREACT - Df: unemotional OR irrational Whether through lazy thinking, slipping into poor habits, or cut off from what you need, we sometimes overcompensate. We react to cold unemotionality with irrational outbursts. Then squash such irrationality with blunt suppression of our emotions. We go to extreme of either repressing our emotions or acting on our emotions irrationally . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: reasonable & intuitive The more these complementary traits split into contrasting sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being reasonable and being intuitive toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being reasonable and not let go of being intuitive . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 2. Balancing masculine objectivity with feminine subjectivity Do you strive to remain or at least appear objective in your pronouncements? Or do you embrace the subjective realm of your personal experiences? REACT - Sf: objective OR subjective Outward looking objectivity sits in tension with inward looking subjectivity . Some situations call for more of one than the other. In novel situations, you best stop and reflect before you act. In familiar situations, you can reliably trust your gut feelings. OVERREACT - Df: intellectualized OR emotionalized When slipping down the rabbit hole of coping behaviors, we sometimes overcompensate. We react to stilted intellectualizing  with emotionally  rich answers. Then rationalize our emotional outbursts with biased arguments. We go to the extreme of either intellectualizing our emotions or emotionalizing our reactions . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: reasoned & sensitive The more these complementary traits split into contrasting sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being reasoned  and being sensitive  toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness. Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being objective and not let go of being subjective . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 3. Balancing masculine protection with feminine nurturance Do you seek to fulfill the role of protector of your loved ones? Or do you fit more into a role of being their nurturer ? REACT - Sf: protecting OR nurturing Taking a protective approach may contradict with taking a nurturing approach. Sometimes you must first protect your loved ones from threats. Other times you best nurture your loved ones, so they can develop the capacity to protect themselves. OVERREACT - Df: domineering OR smothering When slipping away from optimal performance, we tend to overcompensate. Our attempt to protect others morphs into dominating over them. Or our attempt to nurture others morphs into smothering them as we invade their personal spaces. We go to the extreme of either dominating over overs  or smothering others . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: safeguarding & cultivating The more these complementary traits split into competing sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends safeguarding and cultivating toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being protective and not let go of being nurturing . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 4. Balancing masculine independence with feminine dependence Do you strive for self-sufficiency to maintain your autonomous independence in life? Or do you cultivate meaningful dependence that can enrich your closest social connections in life? REACT - Sf: independent OR dependent On the surface, seeking independence seems at odds with encouraging dependence . Some occasions require you to do things completely on your own. Other times you must count on others for their help or cooperation. OVERREACT - Df: detached OR attached When sliding away from proper responses, we tend to overcompensate. Independence becomes detachment, as we avoid getting too close to others. Or dependence becomes attachment as we cling to closely to others. We go to the extreme of either alienating detachment or infringing attachment . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: trustworthy & trusting The more these corresponding traits diverge into clashing sides, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being trustworthy and being trusting toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being independent and not let go of being dependent . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 5. Balancing masculine competition with feminine cooperation Do you try to compete with others to prove your mettle? Or do you try to negotiate for cooperation among conflicting sides? REACT - Sf: competitive OR cooperative Adopting a competitive outlook ostensibly leaves little room for a cooperative approach. If you must win at all costs, then of course you will try to compete the best you can. If the only way to gain what you need is through others getting their share, then cooperation proves a better course. OVERREACT - Df: cutthroat OR placating When sliding down the path of convenient normality, we may overcompensate. Being competitive becomes a cutthroat attempt to win at any cost. Or being cooperative sinks into placating others without addressing actual concerns. We go to the extreme of either cutthroat competition  or placating negotiation . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: initiative & mutual benefit The more these compatible traits compete with each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being initiative and mutual benefit toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being competitive and not let go of being cooperative . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 6. Balancing masculine riskiness with feminine caution Do you take risks to try to get ahead? Or do you remain cautious to avoid costly mistakes? REACT - Sf: risky OR cautious Taking bold risks pits itself as opposite to playing it safe by remaining cautious . Sometimes you can see you have a good chance to overcome any possible threats. Other times you realize you best proceed cautiously. OVERREACT - Df: reckless OR avoidant When gravitating toward what seems easiest to reach, we tend to overcompensate. Taking informed risks slips into less informed reckless behavior. Or proceeding with caution slips into not proceeding at and then getting stalled in avoidant behavior. We go to extreme of either reckless risk taking or avoidant behaviors . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: courageous & deliberate The more these interrelated traits start to oppose each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being courageous and being deliberate toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being risky and not let go of being cautious . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 7. Balancing masculine aggression with feminine passivity Do you tend to get aggressive when confronted? Or are you prone to remain passive to avoid becoming a target? REACT - Sf: aggressive OR passive Getting aggressive amidst conflicts contrasts with being passive to minimize reactions. if faced with a threat requiring prompt resolution, you may opt for a forceful approach. But if you can slow down and consider the impact of your likely actions, you may prefer a more passive approach. OVERREACT - Df: violent prone OR victim prone When options seem limited, and often are, we tend to overcompensate. Starting out by being aggressive can slip into violent outbursts, targeting others with one's own violence. Starting out by being passive may slip into becoming victim prone, as a target for another's violence. We go to extreme of either being violent prone  or victim prone . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: assertive & durable The more these complementary traits seem oppositional to each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being assertive and being durable toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being aggressive and not let go of being passive . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 8. Balancing masculine control with feminine complaint Do you try to control a troubling situation? Or do you complain about a troubling situation to compel others to act as expected? REACT - Sf: controlling OR complaining Trying to control an unpleasant situation sits at odds with complaining about an unpleasant situation. If you can, you take control of a bad situation. If not, you express your complaint to summon support to address the bad situation. OVERREACT - Df: dictating OR nagging When falling into to the trap of what seems easiest, we may overcompensate. Trying to control a situation slips into trying to control others' behavior, to dictate their actions. Or complaining about a situation slips into coercing others' behavior, to incessantly nag them. We go to extreme of either dictating over overs  or nagging others . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: incentivizing & negotiating The more these interdependent traits impose on each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends incentivizing and negotiating toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being in some control and not let go of being able to complain . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 9. Balancing masculine boldness with feminine shyness Do you assert yourself with boldness in novel situations? Or are you more inclined to stay in the shadows and feel shy in less familiar situations. REACT - Sf: bold OR shy You typically are bold or shy in social situations. When you can be confident, you step forward boldly. When not so confident, you approach shyly. OVERREACT - Df: rude OR inhibited When options seem limited, we may go to extremes. Being acceptably bold turns into being unacceptably rude. Or being socially shy turns into being socially inhibited. We go to extreme of either rudeness  or inhibition . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: audacious & thoughtful The more these compatible traits start to oppose each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being audacious and being thoughtful toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being firm and bold and not let go of being vulnerably shy . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 10. Balancing masculine decisiveness with feminine reflectiveness Are you more decisive when having to promptly choose between different options? Or are you more likely to pause and reflect so you can reliably choose the best option? REACT - Sf: decisive OR reflective You can be decisive and charge ahead or be reflective and improve your chances for a successful outcome. Sometimes you have the facts to make a bold choice. Sometimes you must caution your choice by first collecting vital pieces of information. OVERREACT - Df: rash OR procrastinating When options contract and become less available, we tend to overreact and go to opposing extremes. Being decisive becomes being rash. Being reflective slips into procrastination. We go to extreme of either being rash or procrastinating . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: proactive & attentive The more these contrasting traits contradict each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being proactive and being attentive toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being decisive and not let go of being reflective . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 11. Balancing masculine annoyance with feminine anxiety Do you get easily annoyed by others acting offensively? Or are you more likely to feel anxious about others acting offensively? REACT - Sf: annoyed OR anxious You get annoyed when expecting others to fix the problem but get anxious when expecting yourself to fix the problem. When you have every good reason to demand others to change something, you gravitate toward annoyance. When others have good reason to demand you make the necessary change, you gravitate toward anxiety. OVERREACT - Df: irresponsible OR over-responsible When we cannot access optimal primary resources to resolve our needs, we likely go to readily available extremes. Getting annoyed slides into irresponsible behavior, as we quickly blame others and deny our own agency in our problems. Or getting anxious slides into over-responsible behavior, as we get boxed in by assuming we have more agency over our problems than we honestly have. We go to extreme of either being irresponsible or over-responsible . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: watchful & careful The more these competing traits get pitted against each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being watchful and being careful toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good in some moments to be anxious while not letting go of moments of being annoyed . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. 12. Balancing masculine forcefulness with feminine gracefulness Are you primarily forceful when needing to get something important done on time? Or are you more graceful to be sure what must be done works best with all involved? REACT - Sf: forceful OR graceful You can be forceful when something must be done, or you can be graceful to make room for what is also best for others. If you must act now and can ask questions later, you can be more forceful to fix a problem. If you sense that it is better for you to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission or to push ahead, you tend to be more graceful. OVERREACT - Df: disorderly OR aimless When actual choices dry up, we're prone to go the extremes of more readily available opposing options. When being forceful fails to work, we become disorderly as we overreact to situations getting out of control. Or when being graceful no longer works, we become aimless as we overreact to situations beyond our control. We go to extreme of either being disorderly or aimless . And then miss our life's full potential. RESPOND - Pf: strong & agile The more these balancing traits clash with each other, with mounting tension, the more nature steps in somewhere to fill the void. Transspirituality blends being strong and being agile toward greater wholeness and sustainable wellness.  Click here to dive deeper into this pairing It's good to hold onto being strategically forceful and not let go of being aptly graceful . For the one who integrates both can resolve far more needs, remove more pain, and reach more of life's potential. Gender Holism Recap Gender occurs along a continuum from biologically grounded distinctions to socially constructed gender norms . The more humanity drifts from its potential to blend complementary gender sides, which manifests in divisive social norms, the more nature fills the void. Most will experience this when sexually incentivized to connect with others who can likely complement their own gender side. A few will experience this when spiritually compelled to transcend divisive gendered extremes, toward embracing gender holism. click image to return to the top Most of us initially feel compelled to balance these complementary qualities through a force of nature called sexuality. We find ourselves attracted to those who present some desirable qualities seemingly lacking in ourselves. We connect with them on an intimate level. Their intimate affection permits us to draw out more and more of these hidden qualities within ourselves. We get to know ourselves more fully. We slip less into extremes. We encounter a love that brings us more in touch with our full human potential. Others of us experience a more profound realm of nature compelling such balance. How do I know any of this? Asexual While most organize their lives as either dominantly masculine or dominantly feminine, I as a transspirit am spiritually compelled to continually integrate my masculine and feminine sides into a holistic balance. This blossoms independent of sexual motivation. As such, I do not feel any sexual attraction to a complementary other. Most of us first feel some sexual attraction to someone we find attractive. I never did. I had to first cultivate a deep emotional connection before feeling any arousal toward her. I had to first trust she intimately knew me first. Most people are allosexual , otherwise known as zedsexual . By contrast, I am demisexual . Allosexual attraction (norm) Demisexual attraction (strange) physical attraction -> emotional attraction emotional attraction -> physical attraction Physical intimacy leads to emotional intimacy Emotional intimacy leads to physical intimacy I recognize my unique sexuality, of requiring deep connection prior to desiring any physical intimacy, flows from my gender-transcendent spirituality. I also recognize how this leaves me vulnerable to allosexuals who project their sexual angst onto me. I am not alone. Like the Apostle Paul, I do not burn with any romantic desire toward another. While younger, I was demisexual . I had to first establish an emotional bond grounded in a mutual spiritual connection. That occurred only once, with my then-wife. I have since become fully asexual, with no desire for any sexual partner whatsoever. The deep connection I once enjoyed with my wife was violently disrupted after being falsely accused of transphobic tropes, and then wrongly convicted of a crime that never occurred. Gender norm defenders easily projected their sexual anxieties onto my sexual innocence. Defending divisive norms Overreaction The immaturity of divisive norm defenders manifest in criminal investigations, and subsequent convictions, based in confirmation bias that ignores all evidence of innocence. Worse, it punishes the very one with the spiritually compelled wisdom to resolve needs, remove pain, and restore greater wellbeing on a personal and collective level. Divisive norm defenders intentionally protect what they find familiar, even if that includes normalization of what's unwise and unhealthy for us all. Consequently, they typically knee-jerk oppose the mature direction of transspirituality. They tend to prefer the pain they feel over the discomfort of facing the unknown path to greater yet demanding wellness. Shooting the prophetic messenger Rejected Their fear of the unknown outcasts me. The wisdom I offer that transcends toxic legalism is widely dismissed and patently ignored . Problems needlessly persist. In fact, most reactions to problems reinforce problems . That too gets easily ignored when guarding what's more familiar. Legalists rely on divisive norms expressed in many gender trait extremes. Clashing gender sides tends to be more familiar than gender holism independent of sexual norms. Likewise, settling for pain relief from our unresolved needs tends to be guarded as more familiar and trustworthy than removing such pain by resolving the underlying needs. In short, legalism compromises our full human potential. Solzhenitsyn said as much back in 1978. Transspirituality compels a return to our untapped full potential. By replacing cold laws with the incentives of love, of honoring the needs of others as our own. Perhaps my existence as a need-resolving transspirit gets picked up as a competitive threat to pain-relieving legalists . Perhaps that helps explain why norm defenders, who are now accustomed to compromised wellbeing with pain coping mechanisms, perceive me as a threat. All my life, I have been scapegoated, dismissed, and routinely avoided. My liberating wisdom ignored, regarded as too unfamiliar to take seriously. Others shame me for their own pain, as they somehow blame my invisible fullness for their painful lack of fullness. Rejecting the healer they neeed . Conformity is overrated where love is underperformed . As more of us slip into symfunction that hinders our full potential, a life aspring to full peakfunction potential can seem unacceptably strange. The more emotionally attached to what they find reliably familiar, the less tolerant they tend to be toward those instinctively challenge those norms. They prefer to feel the familiar emotional pain from their dysfunction or symfunction than the less familiar discomfort of disciplined growth. From that perspective, a gifted healer like me must be outcasted. They perceive my gender-transcendence as being less of a person. They view someone like me who exhibits both feminine and masculine qualities as somehow being less. They do not recognize how such gender holism can enable humanity to reach more of its untapped potential. To them, I must be some kind of sexual degenerate. They cannot see beyond their own myopic perspective. They cannot get to the root of their pain, which is unresolved needs . Reacting to their pain with more conformity tends to leave them in more familiar pain. They overlook the benefits of owning both feminine and masculine qualities, independent of sexual encounters. They may even misinterpret me as conventionally transgender, which I am not. I never claimed to have a feminine identify, but a misunderstood spiritual identity. Much of the transgender narrative never accurately fit my gender-transcendent experience. In fact, I no longer think of myself as conventionally transgender. Think of me as "post-transgender" not me, just illustrating a point Post-trans: Trans but not conventionally transgender I am transgender, but not transgender in the conventional sense. I do not identify as having a gender identify different from ascribed at my birth. Rather, I am more like the " two-spirits " of indigenous cultures. Not because I am Oneida by birth. But raised by my Oneida mother who grounded me in appreciating the centrality of nature in life. Indigenous spirituality grounds me to the necessity of balance, including gender balance. Such balance is vital to resolve more needs, to raise more wellbeing and remove more pain. I do not balance gender traits to express a gender identity. Rather, I naturally integrate these complementary sides to reach more of life's full potential. Not merely for me, but for us all. Balance for us all That is why I can unpack politics to spot its roots in a different priority of needs . And recognize the limits in the adversarial approach to seeking justice. Those legalistic approaches fail to effectively address our inflexible needs . We cannot properly resolve needs by pitting us against each other in either a court battle or a ballot contest. Integrating our gender traits enables us to resolve more needs, to reach more of our life's full potential. Which includes our potential to love each other more, to honor each other's needs as we would have the other honor our own. Toward need-resolving holism. Need-resolving holism Gender holism equips me to integrate the four levels of human functionality with left-right political spectrum. Another way to view this integrates the vertical spectrum of nuanced specifics (top) to overgeneralizing exaggerations (bottom). I could go on and cover these in details, but instead I will wrap this up. This is already a lot to take in. If you absorb anything from this article, consider this takeaway. Takeaway (TLDR) Nature compels those like me to transcend contrasting norms that no longer serve, to connect deeply with the untapped human potential in us all. This can seem strange and even unacceptable to many. Especially for those who lack vision to see beyond their legalistic framework. We cannot solve our specific problems from the level of generalizing that created them . Including all those overgeneralizing divisive gender norms. We can solve our problems by resolving needs with love , by honoring the needs of others as our own. That's exactly what need-response is for. back-to-top

Use this spreadsheet tool to practice for an initial HR job interview. Work at your own pace. It provides twelve of the most common interview questions. The second page provides you with instructions for utilizing this interactive tool. Each question comes with insight into what the interviewer likely seeks with each question. Click the arrow at the left to see that item's insight and tip into that interview item. 1. Tell me about yourself. Key insight into this question Your self-introduction serves as an icebreaker. It's also a good opportunity to create a strong first impression that you really are the best fit for what they seek. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question The interviewer gets to see if your personality is a good fit for the role, for the team, and for the company. The interviewer typically determines in the first 90 seconds if you will be a good candidate to forward onto the next step in the process. 2. What is your greatest strength? Key insight into this question What soft skill implied in the job description can you demonsrate in an example? That just became your greatest strength to qualify for this job. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Are they asking for only one or for several strengths? Typically just one. Look for a soft skill that exemplifies what the job description requires. Then give a brief example of you expressing that soft skill as applied to the job description qualification. 3. What is your greatest weakness? Key insight into this question This question is asking you to humbly be honest and admit to something you are still improving. Quickly state the shortcoming then focus more on your progress in this area. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question The interviewer assumes that we all have many imperfections, but choose the one that can demonstrate how you are actively improving yourself. This can demonstrate your problem-solving and other skills. Just be sure not to pick something critical to the job description. 4. What do you know about our company? Key insight into this question The less you know about their product and services, the less reason they have to hire you. Find out as much as you can beforehand. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question They will not be impressed if citing only the basic facts about them. Tell not only what you know but what you like about them. Do you use any of their offerings? Do you love what they are about? Let your passion for them shine through. 5. Where do you see yourself in 3 to 5 years? Key insight into this question This looks at how strong and clear is your vision for your career. The better your career vision, the more likely you will be a good fit for this team. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Avoid overpromising them your commitment to a future no one can know. Of course, you don't want to say you expect to be working elsewhere in five years, or starting your own business, even if that is likely. Assure them they are central to your current career trajectory. 6. Tell me about your greatest career success. Key insight into this question Share something you have accomplished that the job description particularly seeks. Prioritize what is important to them over what you are most proud of achieving. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question What is something in the job description you have achieved? Share it as a short story. What was the workplace challenge you met? How did you succeed in resolving it? How does it make you a perfect candidate for this position? 7. Tell me about a mistake you made at work and what you learned. Key insight into this question When you learn from your mistakes, you become a better team member. Like a healed bone getting stronger than before, show your strengths through recovering from a mistake. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question The more you drop your guard and show you humanly make mistakes, you build more trust. The more valuable what you learn from the mistake, the better your fit for this new team. Remember to end your example on a positive note. 8. Tell me about a disagreement you had with a colleague and how you handled it. Key insight into this question This looks for your teamwork skills. Everyone has a different opinion sometime, so how do you contribute your unique perspective to the team? What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question This doesn't assume you argued with a coworker. Tell about how you get along with your teammates even when you have a different point of view. Hopefully you are not so "harmonious" that you never contribute your unique perspective. 9. How would your coworkers describe you? Key insight into this question This puts in the third person paraphrasing or quoting your teammates' views of you. It can sound less partial and not risk sounding like you're boasting. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question TIP: Ask your current coworkers for feedback to your current work, then use it to answer this question. They never have to know you are seeking another job. You will sound more certain when quoting their actual words than trying to paraphrase what you think they might say. 10. Why should we hire you? Key insight into this question If you are equally qualified as all the other candidates, what sets you apart as the best pick? What can you offer the others likely cannot? What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Think about what you offer that other candidates can unlikely offer. What particular experience or qualifications others are not likely to have. Emphasize these qualities with your passion for the opportunity to join this team, this company. You're almost there! 11. Tell me something we should know about you that we didn't think to ask. Key insight into this question Before the interview ends, the interviewer wants you to suggest anything they may have overlooked. Here is your opportunity to shine. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Standard HR questions could overlook something that makes you especially qualified for this job. HR recognizes it may miss this, so this is an open-ended question for you to share some unique story that can help them decide you are just right for the job. 12. Do you have any questions for me? Key insight into this question Good questions demonstrate how interested you are in the job. You never want to say you have no questions. Let the time run out on the questions you could ask. What the interviewer typically looks for in your answer to this question Prepare at least 3 to 4 questions to ask the interviewer to show your interest. If you only prepare one or two and they answer each in the course of the interview, you do not want to say you have no more questions. Go back to the top and select " Qs to ask interviewer " for some ideas. You then practice your answers in the provided space. Then rate the quality of your answer. First by relevance to the job description. Speak to their needs. Second by authenticity of your answer. Avoid embellishing. Third by how specific is your answer. Generalizations don't sell yourself. Select from the dropdown list to get feedback to the quality of your response. Best : Feedback to an excellent response to this question. Good : Feedback to an acceptable response to this question. Okay : Feedback to a minimal response to this question. Poor : Feedback to an unacceptable response to this question. See this unfold for question 4: Then it provides examples of different quality level response you select from a dropdown list. Best : What an excellent response would look like for that question. Good : What an acceptable response would look like for that question. Okay : What a minimal response would look like for that question. Poor : What an unacceptable response would look like for that question. See here all four example quality levels to a response to question 4: The tool also comes with many other useful tips. This tool features how to use the CAR method for answer behavioral interview questions. You likely are familiar with the STAR method: Situation, Task, Actions, Results. The CAR method keeps it simpler. Every story has a beginning ( C hallenge to set up the story), middle ( A ctions where you're the hero), and satisfying conclusion ( R esults you created). Your short stories can be more compelling when focusing on that middle part, instead of getting bogged down an unnecessary details in the beginning. See an example CAR story on page 6 for each of these 12 in-demand soft skills: leadership skills teamwork skills problem-solving skills customer service skills communication skills interpersonal skills emotional intelligence adaptability skills organizational skills creativity attention to detail work ethic I help my student-clients practice their CAR stories to demonstrate their potential value to the interviewer. The more you practice and finetune your CAR stories, the more you can emotionally impact the interviewer to trust you as the best candidate. You can practice with me in person if you have a Cambly account. I have served hundreds of interviewees on Cambly. Here are some of their testimonials, vouching for how this tool and its emphasis on using their CAR stories has helped them. Perhaps I can help you sell your qualifications to an employer of your choice. Download this tool and see for yourself how you can improve your job interviewing skills. When you cannot find someone to help you practice, this could be your next best thing. You can practice using one of many mock interview websites . You can also practice with me. Interview Prep 1: virtual consultation 20 mins. $25 Interview Prep 2: mock interview 45 mins. $37.50

First read the instructions to the sender. Fill out as many fields as you can. You can always change them later, after we go over the tool together. Keep in mind this not a counseling session or legal advocacy. The aim is to identify and resolve the inflexible needs on all sides of your situation. With responsivism, we can do that together. I help guide you to incentivize the professional to respond to this alternative to unpleasant legal options. I cannot guarantee they will respond or cooperate. I can promise you that responsivism is better positioned to improve your wellness, and potentially theirs, than either psychotherapy or the services of an attorney. Review the cancellation policy to avoid any unpleasant surprises. Now let's start improving your wellness by having you speak to power in a way they are incentivized to listen to you. With the power of love, or honoring the needs of others as one would have others honor their own.

Defunctions List 1 discomfort avoidance Read More Discomfort avoidance is the habitual evasion of pain, often from failing to differentiate between positive organic pain and less positive types of pain. 2 mass avoidance Read More Mass avoidance is the widespread norm of not personally engaging with others or in something that seems uncomfortable or threatening. 3 symfunctional strain Read More Symfunctional strain is the ongoing emotional stress from needs not fully resolved, limiting your ability to focus elsewhere and often mistaken as lack of intelligence. 4 vulnerability avoidance Read More Vulnerability avoidance is the persistent evasion of dropping your guard with others close to you, typically out of fear or rejection and often a consequence of normative alienation , nomoscentricity , pistiscentricity and other defunctions .

The Need-Response podc ast Spotify Amazon Castbox iHeart PlayerFM YouTube NR Clips RSS feed The Need-Response podcast introduces you to the budding professional service of ‘need-response ’. Steph and Gustavo address your underserved needs with this new service, beyond the limits of our current institutions of law and psychotherapy . Follow along to speak truth to power, incentivizing them with the power of love to listen to those they impact. Episodes drop each Wednesday morning, starting 30 April 2025. August 6, 2025 2x09 Prove your innocence without lawyers Instead of filling out and sending paper forms that take forever, consider this better alternative. 2x09 Prove your innocence without lawyers 00:00 / 26:10 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) July 9, 2025 1x08 Responding to the unexonerated innocent How can we trust the adversarial legal system to fix what it keeps breaking? 1x08 Responding to the unexonerated innocent 00:00 / 36:27 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) June 25, 2025 1x07 Does innocence even matter? Steph opens up about the wrongful conviction still hampering their full potential. 1x07 Does innocence even matter? 00:00 / 37:30 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) June 4, 2025 1x06 What is wrong with us? If you can start for free, why not try it? Especially if you can shift the costs to the powerful. 1x06 What is wrong with us? 00:00 / 40:43 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) May 28, 2025 1x05 How well is your wellbeing? We define wellness as your ability to fully function. Not by relieving pain but removing cause for pain. 1x05 How well is your wellbeing? 00:00 / 42:38 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) May 21, 2025 1x04 What seems to be your problem? What kinds of problems does need-response address? How is different from other options? 1x04 What seems to be your problem? 00:00 / 38:19 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) May 14, 2025 1x03 Where does it hurt? Do you settle for options that merely ease your pain? Why not let us help remove its cause? 1x03 Where does it hurt? 00:00 / 42:03 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) May 7, 2025 1x02 What do you need? Do we really need another type of professional service? 1x02 What do you need? 00:00 / 39:53 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) April 30, 2025 1x01 What is 'need-response'? What can this new service do we can’t get anywhere else? 1x01 What is 'need-response'? 00:00 / 42:43 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) April 16, 2025 1x00 Introducing need-response Steph and Gustavo opens the door to invite you into this amazing world of need-response. 1x00 Introducing need-response 00:00 / 05:14 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) January 30, 2025 Trailer Need-Response trailer Quick introduction to the new podcast by the Anankelogy Foundation Trailer Need-Response trailer 00:00 / 00:58 Episode features (exclusive to podcast subscribers) Subscribe now to get all podcast features (free) 1 1 ... 1 ... 1

Anankelogy Principles A-Foundational - B-Basic - C-General - D-Pain - E-Conflict - F-Power - G-Structural - H-Love You will find these principles organized into eight distinct types. Foundational Principles lay the basis for anankelogy as a unique science. These create the foundation for the discipline study of need . As objective phenomena, many aspects of our needs can be examined by the scientific method . Basic Principles ground aspects of your experience with needs in the science of anankelogy. These establish anankelogy as a unique social science . General Principles add wisdom to experiencing needs anchored in the science of anankelogy. These provide insight into what this new profession of need-response can do that other professional fields cannot . Pain Principles start applying anankelogy to be more "need-responsive" in our lives. These apply primarily at the personal human problem level. Conflict Principles offer some insight for negotiating disputes you have with others. These apply primarily at the interpersonal human problem level. Authority Principles apply anankelogy to the legitimacy of those in positions of influential power. These apply primarily at the power human problem level. Law Principles apply anankelogy to the point of having laws and unwritten norms. These apply primarily at the structural human problem level. Love Principles cap these need-focused concepts with mutual respect for each other's needs. These give context to all the other types as we function best when we support others to function their best. One word for such positive regard is love. Get these inspiring principles in your inbox once a week! First name* Email* Join I want to subscribe to your mailing list. * A01 Foundational Principle A natural need is an objective fact. The more you drill down to the beginning of an experienced need, the more you find what exists prior to any human intervention. You don’t merely believe you must have water or that you need a friend, you experience these needs as essential to your capacity to function. Your ability to function after quenching a thirst or leaning on a friend exist independent of subjective feelings, as objective facts. The less your natural needs resolve, the less you can objectively function. Read More A02 Foundational Principle A naturally prioritized need is an objective fact. The more something you require to fully function persists unsatisfied, the more your attention will be drawn toward its satisfaction. It matters less whether you believe you must prioritize it. The objective basis of your functioning subconsciously demands you focus on it over less pressing matters. Any subjective beliefs or feelings arrive after the objective fact of your life prioritizing it. The less you attend to your inflexibly prioritized needs, the less you can objectively function. Read More B01 Basic Principle Resolving needs improves wellness. Wellness is another word for function. All needs exist to serve function. The more you resolve your needs, the better you can function. The more you eat well, the better you can function. You eat, breathe, connect with friends and enjoy moments of solitude all for the sake of being able to function through life. The less your needs resolve, or the less you attend to your prioritized needs, the less you can function. Or the less well you will be. Where there is no function to serve, there is no need. Read More B02 Basic Principle Emotions personally convey needs. The less you can function because of some lack or some threat, the more your body will emote you do something to replenish that lack or remove that threat. Such responses are automatic. Your body conveys your needs to maintain function. You don’t even have to feel it, though you often do on some level. Where there is no need to convey, there is no emotion. Read More B03 Basic Principle Your emotions prioritize your existence. The more you sense some threat, even a mild risk to your safety, your emotions will automatically prioritize your continued existence. Without your assured continuance, little else matters to your life. Or you may no longer be around, or at least at your current capacity, for anything else to matter. Once triggered, it’s next to impossible to prioritize anything else. Read More B04 Basic Principle Your feelings alert you to the status of your needs. The more your functioning becomes limited from some unresolved need, the more your feelings call attention to it. Initially, such feelings remain vague. Then often out of the blue, they turn alarmingly urgent. Usually with something you could do right away to ease the pressure. You could react on this feeling. Or you could dig deeper into what your feelings can only suggest is really happening. Properly responding dissolves its intensity. Read More B05 Basic Principle Beliefs exist to serve needs. The more your interpreted perceptions help you to function in life, the more they crystallize into useful beliefs. The less relevant a fact is to your functioning, the less you cling to it. It matters little if you agree or disagree whether the sun will someday go nova. You can hardly be persuaded against holding as true what helps you survive today, or helps you get by, or helps you get ahead in life. Read More B06 Basic Principle You believe what you need to believe. The more a belief proves vital to your existence, the more it rises in your hierarchy of accepted truths. The more your life seems or actually depends on something being so, the more you must naturally defend it. The less relevant to your required means to function, the less you defend it. The less your needs resolve, the more tightly you cling to any belief you perceive helping you get by. Read More B07 Basic Principle Your biases prioritize your needs. The less resolve a need, the more your attention naturally turns to seek its relief. You find you must prioritize whatever you find available to ease the emotional pressure. Sometimes, you hit on exactly what your life requires. Your prioritized thinking leads you in a positive direction. Other times, you prioritize generalizations that offer hope for relief. Such biases easily lead you astray, and in pain. Read More B08 Basic Principle All beliefs include error. The more you generalize, the less likely the accuracy of those beliefs. If irrelevant to your life, then the result errors can pass unnoticed. As a factory worker, it matters little if I believe Abraham Lincoln was born in Illinois or Kentucky. If my livelihood depends on it, I better know he was born in Kentucky. There will always be facts beyond the reach of your conclusions. Humility helps you stay informed. Read More B09 Basic Principle All your behaviors serve your needs. The less some action contributes to your wellbeing, the more open you are to change them. The more an action enables you to function, the more likely to repeat that action. Even the most trivial of behaviors must align with what you need to function, or you will likely change it. If you keep giving cash to that homeless guy and then run out of cash, you inevitably change your behavior. Read More B10 Basic Principle Needs resolve and evolve. The more you satisfy a recurring need, like drinking water to quench a thirst, the more your repeated action predictably leaves you satisfied. The more you pacify your recurring needs with some alternative, like indulging in junk food for each meal, the less your hunger subsides. The more you habitually rely on alternatives, the more your life contracts to accommodate such limits. Read More View this list organized into these topics 1 2 3 4 5 1 ... 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 6 A-Foundational B-Basic C-General D-Pain E-Conflict F-Authority G-Law H-Love

Earn your first qualification to be a credentialed need-responder. Discover how you can replace your habitual reaction to pain with your potential to respond to the needs behind that pain. See this improve your life as it also helps you improve the lives of others. Most of us react to our situations instead of responding to the needs in the moment. You can now develop the skills to shift from habitually reacting upon your feelings to routinely responding to each other's needs. PROGRAM OUTLINE 1. Let's get started 2. Let’s stretch your discomfort zone 3. Let’s expand your emotional tolerance 4. Let’s understand your “easement orientation” 5. Let's share your improving easement orientation 6. Let's show others you can face your pain boldly 7. Let’s wrap up The more you face your pain upfront and address the underlying needs, the less pain you will suffer in the long run. Qualified need-responders do not avoid discomfort, but take such displeasures face on. Embracing your natural occurrences of pain serves as your first huge step toward becoming a credentialed need-responder. You can take your time to complete this self-paced course. To resume where you left off last, simply click the 'Go to Current Step' button. You've got this! Soon enough, you will be credentialed as a personal need-responder.