H01 Love Principle

Which do you think is more likely?

The higher standard to love one another is merely an aspirational ideal that no one actually meets.

OR

Loving others simply requires the bold step to honor another’s needs on par or more than our own.

Anankelogy

Here is where we explore this principle in relation to academic anankelogy. For now, this serves as placeholder text. When I find the time, I will post the full deal here.

Need-response

Need-response positions itself as the only profession to prioritize platonic love over laws, over medical or cognitive processes, or over anything unable to promise measurably improved wellness outcomes.

With the safe generalization of love, we can peel back the popular myth of popgenself-interest. You can replace its inclination toward rationalized selfishness with mutual regard for each other’s affected needs. You can replace its inclination toward rationalized self-righteousness with humbling get to know how each other impacts one another’s inflexible needs.

Legalism spurs you to generalize. It prompts you to cling to your assumptions as defensible facts. Which easily pulls you down into painful falsehoods. And trap you in dark caverns of myopia.

Love inspires you to be specific. It encourages you to use your initial generalizations as stepping stones to relevant nuance. To step beyond fleeting concerns to see the big picture and embrace the deeper value of us all.

Anankelogy recognizes a range from a healthy kind of generalizing to a deeply problematic kind.

• provisional generalizing – when you recognize your generalities include unidentified specifics, ready to replace them with applicable specifics.

• popular generalizing(popgen) – when you accept popular generalities as fact, ignoring any disconfirming specifics and rationalizing exceptions to what’s apparently widely supported.

• relief-generalizing(relief-gen) – when your trusted generalities crystallize into hardened beliefs you rely upon to relieve you of the pain of your unmet needs, trapping you in pain.

• oversimplification – when you extremely exaggerate, often to the point of believing as indisputable fact the oppositive of what is accurately true.

The more you anchor your trusted generalities to the steadfast generalization that all lives possess innate value, the easier it can be to transition from questionable generalities to relevant specifics to more fully resolve needs.

Reactive Problem

The less your needs resolve, the more drawn to relying on questionable generalizing to cope. Your ability function starts going down. You go from what anankelogy calls “peakfunction” to “symfunction” that compromises your wellness.

The less you can function (i.e., the less well you are), the more you opt for alternative that partially eases your needs. Whenever what you specifically need cannot be accessed, you settle for the next best thing. You then slide into what anankelogy identifies as “symfunction capture” in three gradual steps.

1. Symfunction creep: you go from fully resolving all needs to partially easing some needs.

2. Symfunction strain: you go from partially easing some needs to partially easing most needs.

3. Symfunction trap: you go from partially easing most needs to fully resolving only a few needs.

This slippery slope helps to explain how many of us suffer dysfunction. The less your needs can resolve, the more they alert you with emotional and physical pain to compel your attention. We often cope by trusting comforting generalities.

When we can full function because our needs resolve more fully, we can recognize most generalities include unseen specifics affecting our lives. As we lose our capacity to function fully because of fewer resolved needs and mounting pain, we start accepting watered down versions as fact.

These things must be true, we tell ourselves, so I can avoid further suffering. But the more we cling to our generalizations and miss relevant specifics to resolve our needs, the further we stay in pain of our unresolved needs. It becomes harder to recognize and affirm the innate value of all life when losing confidence in our own value if tied to our ability to function.

Responsive Solution

Affirming the innate value of another has a way of pulling you out of your shell. When consumed with agony from feeling overwhelmed by your own unmet needs, try doing what you can for what someone else may need. No matter how small. You may find the results refreshingly liberating.

You may not have the specifics necessary to make any significant impact. But starting with the generalization that they are worthy of your attention and care brings out the best of humanity. Their appreciation can do wonders for taking a weight off your shoulders.

Need-response instills this discipline to first generalize the worthiness of others before trying to call attention to your own. You address others using a format of positive-negative-positive.

· Positive: You affirm the inflexible needs of the other.

· Negative: You bring up how their actions affect your needs.

· Positive: You close by pledging to continue this good faith mutual approach.

You generalize in both senses of the word.

1. You keep it on the simple side. Skip any complexities. If relevant, save those for later.

2. You apply to another what you apply to all. You apply it to yourself. You show you’re fair.

You let the power of love open doors and solve more problems. To resolve more needs. To remove more pain. To restore more wellness. Let loveserve as your safest generality.

Responding to your needs

How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these:

• Not everyone is receptive to my bold offers of kindness, and some mysteriously react in anger.

• I find it very increasingly difficult to love those who seem unable to honestly love themselves.

• Life is complicated, so I have to start with my trusted generalizations just to get by.

• Who’s to say what is a relevant detail and what’s just to distract from what truly matters?

Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below.