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8 < Back to list A. Character refunction 8 A reconciliation 8 .1 A Need experience 8 .2 A Defunctionalizing Info This subsection applies 'relational knowing' statements to illuminate how this defunction relationally lowers your ability to fully function. It is typically framed with more/more or more/less or less/more or less/less associations that can be empirically tested. 8 .3 A Refunctionalizing Info This subsection applies 'relational knowing' statements to illuminate how this defunction could be turned around to raise your ability to function. It also uses more/more or more/less or less/more or less/less associations that can be empirically tested. 8 .4 A Example(s) This subsection offers some examples of this defunction you may observe affecting your life. Usually more than one example is provided. If reading this, there are no examples yet to this defunction. 8 .5 A Associated defunctions This subsection points to similar or applicable defunctions. If reading this, there are no defunctions specifically associated with this defunction. 8 .6 A Relevant refunctions This subsection points to relevant or complementary refunctions. If reading this, there are no relevant defunctions to correlate with this defunction. 8 .7 A Applicable principles This subsection points to those anankelogical principles that aptly apply to this defunction. If reading this, there are no anankelogical principles related specifically to this defunction. 8 .8 A Referenced blog posts This subsection points to those blog entries that relate to, or cite, this particular defunction. If reading this, there are no blog entries yet related specifically to this defunction. Date created: 8/29/23 Type: Date revised: A. Character refunction The more you rebuild your trustworthiness after admitting a wrong, the more your needs resolve. After letting go of your anger with forgiveness, continue nurturing the relationship by offering to restore any losses. Rebuild trust by compensating others for any damage for actions caused. Respect where others cannot go on without restoring what they’ve lost. Connect with others where they hurt, with empathetic generosity. Respond to other's gestures toward you who seek to rebuild any damaged trust. See how atonement resolves needs. Previous Next Discuss at our Engagement forum

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Placeholder Image mass avoidance mass avoidance < Back 2 mass avoidance Mass avoidance is the widespread norm of not personally engaging with others or in something that seems uncomfortable or threatening. Need experience Where vulnerability avoidance occurs on a personal level, mass avoidance occurs on a collective level. If few of us can feel safely vulnerable to be totally honest with others, or with ourselves, more of us will assume avoidance is common. Other reasons emerge to avoid the avoidable. Avoiding all that seems or is unpleasant crystallizes into a shared norm. We admit our fears to no one. We keep our guard up all the time. We provoke each other’s defensiveness, blaming each other. Fewer of our needs ever fully resolve. We suffer more and more. We function less and less. Defunctionalizing Refunctionalizing Examples The widespread evasion of our natural tendency to first estimate the trustworthiness of others by their most visible features, lest we get publicly labeled as a bigot. Relational knowing The fewer others are dropping their guard to expose their full authenticity, the less likely you will risk dropping your guard to expose your authentic self to raw rejection. The more others avoid, the more you avoid. The more we all avoid, and socially punish those who expose their authentic full being, the more normatively we all avoid matters we would otherwise face more courageously. Sign up or sign in to view the full entry Complementary refunctions Impact engagement 6/16/23 Previous Next

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1 < Back to list A) defunction type 1 # safety Safety is the need to not be subjected to threats to your ability to function. 1 .1 0 Need experience Need experience details. This section provides more in-depth details for this particular defunction. It can help clarify what this defunction is truly about. It typically includes more than one paragraph. it adds understanding to the summary descriptor above. And it may include references to other defunctions. The text tends to toward academic anankelogy instead of accessible anankelogy, as these sections were written prior to the emphasis on accessible anankelogy for this site. 1 .2 0 Defunctionalizing Info This subsection applies 'relational knowing' statements to illuminate how this defunction relationally lowers your ability to fully function. It is typically framed with more/more or more/less or less/more or less/less associations that can be empirically tested. 1 .3 0 Refunctionalizing Info This subsection applies 'relational knowing' statements to illuminate how this defunction could be turned around to raise your ability to function. It also uses more/more or more/less or less/more or less/less associations that can be empirically tested. 1 .4 0 Example(s) This subsection offers some examples of this defunction you may observe affecting your life. Usually more than one example is provided. If reading this, there are no examples yet to this defunction. 1 .5 0 Associated defunctions This subsection points to similar or applicable defunctions. If reading this, there are no defunctions specifically associated with this defunction. 1 .6 0 Relevant refunctions This subsection points to relevant or complementary refunctions. If reading this, there are no relevant defunctions to correlate with this defunction. 1 .7 0 Applicable principles This subsection points to those anankelogical principles that aptly apply to this defunction. If reading this, there are no anankelogical principles related specifically to this defunction. 1 .8 0 Referenced blog posts This subsection points to those blog entries that relate to, or cite, this particular defunction. If reading this, there are no blog entries yet related specifically to this defunction. Type: Date created: Date revised: #) category for this defunction 8/26/23 not yet revised safety Previous Next Discuss at our Engagement forum

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7 < Back to list A. Character refunction 7 A forgiveness Forgiveness is here defined as letting go of anger toward another who acted toward you, or to others you care about, in ways you found objectionable. What you rejected you no longer reject as intensely. This includes releasing anger toward yourself, to release your own sense of shame. 7 .1 A Need experience Others wrong you when doing something you perceive as (and may well be) a threat to you. Social norms grant you various forms of retribution, from mildly embarrassing the offender to charging the offender with a felony leading to a death penalty. Threatening them in return offers some relief from your pain. But rightful retribution seldom resolves needs, and can provoke avoidable needs . Releasing your anger frees you to focus on more important matters. Easing your rejection of the person can segue to specifically rejecting their challenged actions. Then segue further to rejecting the conditions behind the offense while affirming the identified offender. You create a clean slate to hopefully make it easier to address the relevant needs more responsibly. By forgiving the offender, you consider the needs of the other person, and target your rejection to how their unresolved needs painfully impacted you. You cease linking the painful action of the other as essentially the same as that other person. You refuse to let any hatred get a foothold in your attitude toward life. You inspire the offender to be honest and humble , to be more prosocial. You prioritize resolving all the needs involved. 7 .2 A Defunctionalizing Info This subsection applies 'relational knowing' statements to illuminate how this defunction relationally lowers your ability to fully function. It is typically framed with more/more or more/less or less/more or less/less associations that can be empirically tested. 7 .3 A Refunctionalizing Info This subsection applies 'relational knowing' statements to illuminate how this defunction could be turned around to raise your ability to function. It also uses more/more or more/less or less/more or less/less associations that can be empirically tested. 7 .4 A Example(s) This subsection offers some examples of this defunction you may observe affecting your life. Usually more than one example is provided. If reading this, there are no examples yet to this defunction. 7 .5 A Associated defunctions This subsection points to similar or applicable defunctions. If reading this, there are no defunctions specifically associated with this defunction. 7 .6 A Relevant refunctions This subsection points to relevant or complementary refunctions. If reading this, there are no relevant defunctions to correlate with this defunction. 7 .7 A Applicable principles This subsection points to those anankelogical principles that aptly apply to this defunction. If reading this, there are no anankelogical principles related specifically to this defunction. 7 .8 A Referenced blog posts This subsection points to those blog entries that relate to, or cite, this particular defunction. If reading this, there are no blog entries yet related specifically to this defunction. Date created: 8/29/23 Type: Date revised: A. Character refunction The more you let go of your anger toward those who wronged you, the more your needs resolve. Let go of your anger when wronged. Release yourself from your own self-chastisement. View any infringement of your rights as a mistake they can freely admit. Give others the space to honestly admit their imperfections. Rebuild trust by acknowledging your errors toward others. See how forgiveness resolves more needs. Previous Next Discuss at our Engagement forum

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Glossary A Acknowledged Impactor [AI] (n. ) [wellness campaign terminology] A person or entity recognizing they impact another of relatively less social influence more than they are impacted by the other in a social power difference. Prior to acknowledging such potent influence, the AI is regarded as an Ascribed Impactor . adversarialism (n. ) Opposing others largely for the sake of opposition. [Gordon Fellman] See indulgent side-taking and oppo culture . adversarialist (n. ) One who opposes others ostensibly to hold them accountable but often to try to subdue them and coerce them to fit one's own interests with little if any regard for their affected inflexible needs . See proper adversarialism and toxic adversarialist . See image of both definitions here . Also see indulgent side-taking and oppo culture . anankelogy (n. ) The disciplined study and understanding of experiencing needs. Ascribed Impactor [AI] (n. ) [wellness campaign terminology] A person or entity identified as likely impacting another person or entity of relatively less social influence more than they are impacted by the other in a social power difference. Once publicly recognizing such potent influence, the AI is regarded as an Acknowledged Impactor . avoidance culture (n. ) Social norms that privilege evading awareness or engagement of others whom one affects. Instead of being responsive to the affected needs of others, these set of norms rationalize the acceptability of overlooking others in pain. It expects impersonal norms to be enough. See oppo culture . Avoidance culture can manifest itself in different ways. Demonstrating an intent to simplify complex matters into palatable soundbites, to the point of evading uncomfortable details one would prefer to ignore. Being dismissive toward the views of others by characterizing a weakness in that view as emblematic of the whole idea, as grounds to not face strong points in that view. Investing more focus (consuming limited time and energy) on one point over another, effectively missing what that other point could offer. Accepting motivated reasoning to rationalize not investigating further, effectively reinforcing blind spots. Easing needs or relieving pain from unresolved exposed needs , while ignoring the likely consequence of perpetuating the problem as those needs persist unresolved, compromising functionality while seeming to fix the problem (which can then be blamed on the individual for not properly applying the avoidant solution). A relatively simple conflict requiring discipline and uncomfortable sacrifices to settle gets characterized as too complex to solve, if only to bypass such disciplie and sacrifices. And somefime to preserve the familiarity of the conflict over the fear of the unknown. Citing established norms and routine procedures as reason enough not to fully address a problem, preferring not to upset the status quo which likely has elements necessary and best preserved while also including elements to be excised for the sake of resolving needs more effectively. Denouncing any attempt to understand all sides to a conflict as "bothsidesism" or "moral equivalency" that avoids identifying and addressing the inflexible needs of one or more sides. Heralding one side in a conflict that more effectively conveys its message, or gets it out to a wider audience, to the point of dismissing any helpful critique of any opposing side, regardless of the intent of any of the sides. Exists as an element of toxic legalism , as complemented by adversarialism . Can be considered an element of the larger construct of reactive culture . A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z < back to glossary menu