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Pain is not the problem as much as the threats your pain tries to report. < Back D04 Pain Principle List of all principles Pain is not the problem as much as the threats your pain tries to report. Image: Pixabay – jplenio (click on meme to see source image) Summary The more you react to your pain instead of addressing the needs behind that pain, the less you can address the source of that pain. The less addressed, the more it festers and can grow into a terrible problem of its own. The more you promptly respond to the warnings your pain seeks to report, the quicker you can resolve the underlying needs and remove its cause for pain. Description Which do you think is more likely? If you can get rid of your pain then your life will be much better. OR Improving your life by resolving more needs gets rid of your pain. Anankelogy Anankelogy isolates for types of pain. 1. Organic pain . Or “natural pain” or “natural discomfort”, this is the immediate displeasure reported by your body to warn you to remove some apparent threat. It’s usually sharp and instantaneous. 2. Residual pain . This type emerges after your natural pain fails to result in removing the threat. It continues to alert you to the threat. If partially removing the threat, you feel this as a dull pain. 3. Biostructural pain . This type emerges after your body seeks a different route to report the threat. You feel a headache or stomachache. If residual pain cannot get to remove the threat, maybe this will. 4. Metapain . This type emerges to warn you of the threat of too much pain. Your body complains it cannot adequately function when there are too many alarms going off. It warns of the threat of unheeded threats. Each type of pain serves as a messenger. Shooting the messenger leaves the threat or threats in place. Ignoring, suppressing, repressing, or trying to shift it onto others almost guarantees the threat to persist. The more your senses register a persisting threat, the more your pain comes back again and again. Only by addressing the needs behind those threats can your pain be fully removed. The more your needs resolve, the less cause to report threats in the form of pain. The more resolved your needs, the better you can function to remain responsive to new threats. Need-response Your level of functioning exists as an objective fact. Any subjective experience of your needs arises after the objective fact of something impacting your ability to function. That includes your pain. Feeling depressed, for example, may be a subjective experience. But it results from the objective fact of your inability to fully function as before. The pain of depression is less of a problem than these objective limitations crashing into your ability to fully function. Instead of offering you relief from depression, or from any other painful emotion, need-response helps you get to the sources of your pain. Instead of reacting to pain, it equips you to respond more effectively to the needs prompting such pain. Resolving those needs naturally clears up the pain. Need-response emphasizes a shared response to our needs, to get to the root of our pain. Reactive Problem Modernity promises to provide a life full of comforts. Pop philosophies suggest a pain-free life is our innate right. Ideologies imply that we should be able to reason our way out of suffering pain. Or take some medication to make the pain go away. These passive approaches to pain easily lead down the rabbit hole of addictions. You can only do so much to ease the pain of threats, of trauma, of agonizing problems, and a host of other sources of pain. A huge reason we get trapped in passive pain-relief stems from feeling powerless to do much if anything about the threats. If the threat comes from a neighbor whose actions remain privileged by law, you understandably feel pressured to cave. If the threat comes from a giant corporation backed by better paid lawyers and the elected officials they help elect with their campaign donations, then you understandably feel you must resign to your fate. If the threat comes from established norms cooked into the DNA of our daily lives, you may not even notice the source of such pain. Since you cannot change others but only your reactions to them, you typically feel pressured to adjust to these untouchable sources of your pain. You can mount protest, complain online, and write to your local officials. But as these tactics fail, you become increasingly accustomed to a growing level of residual pain, emerging biostructural pain, and intensifying metapain. Responsive Solution Need-response fills the gap missing in our legal systems by addressing the needs on each side of a conflict. The legal systems of the judiciary and politics only offers pain relief to the winner of a court or election battle. They fail at ensuring all sides can improve their levels of functioning. Indeed, a purely legal approach easily results in more suffered pain. Need-response first reacquaints us the point of pain, to alert us to remove threats. The first development program walks you through an exercise that can restore your ability to endure discomfort long enough to address its underlying needs. Instead of habitually avoiding your pain, you can be equipped to remove the causes of your pain. And enjoy more peace. Need-response then provides tools to help you turn from provoking more pain to creating an environment that reduces or removes pain. The second development program helps you replace harmful norms of reactively opposing others to engaging their inflexible needs . Instead of habitually opposing apparent sources of pain in each other, you can be equipped to mutually address each other’s needs to remove the sources of pain. Then enjoy more peace between each other. Need-response then equips you to speak truth to power. In a way that incentivizes the powerful to listen to you. The third development program invites those in positions of power to realize their leadership brand relies on how responsive they are to your exposed needs. Instead of remaining aloof under shield of impersonal law, you engage them to help them improve their impact by first positively impacting you. More of your pain, and their pain, will then automatically slide away into oblivion. Responding to your needs How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these: I am outraged by the things I see on social media or online. I feel powerless to do anything about the problems around us. I want to contribute more to lowering the temperature of public discourse but unsure how. I wish I could process more of my pain to get to the source, but I don’t see how that’s possible. Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below. Engage this principle in our forum Engagement guide Any visitor to the Engagement forum can view all posts. So do keep that in mind when posting. Sign up or sign in to comment on these posts and to create your own posts. Using this platform assumes you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . Remember to keep the following in mind: Quote the principle you are responding to, and its identifier letter & number. Let’s be specific. Demonstrate need-responsiveness in your interactions here. Let’s respect each other. Engage supportive feedback from others on this platform. Let’s grow together. Together, let’s improve our need-responsiveness . Together, let’s spread some love . See other principles in this category - Foundational - Basic - General - Pain - Conflict - Authority - Law - Love - Previous Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link Next

Natural needs never clash with each other. < Back C05 General Principle List of all principles Natural needs never clash with each other. Image: Pixabay - Darkmoon_Art (click on meme to see source image) Summary Every core need exists independently of any other core need. For example, your need for friendship in one moment does not oppose your need for solitude in a different moment. Your inner core needs do not contradict the inner core needs of others. Their need for you to support them, for example, exists apart from your need to be left alone. Each core need for functioning occurs without regard or influence on other core needs. Only the chosen responses to such needs can come into conflict with each other. The unchosen needs themselves always remain distinct. Description Which do you think is more likely? Some needs cannot be legitimate since they cannot be resolved with what’s available. OR The necessity to function always occurs without regard for what it requires to function. Anankelogy No unchosen need clashes with another unchosen need . Every natural need exists within the functioning individual. It is impossible for the inner reality of any need to compete against the inner reality of a different need. In the pain of the moment from an unresolved need, we can judge too quickly that some need cannot be addressed because of another need requiring the same limited resource. But this shifts from natural needs to a chosen response to such needs. In the language of anankelogy, core needs do not clash, while resource needs might clash, and access needs for that resource clash all the time. But the inner homeostatic imbalance experienced as a core need always occurs without regard to any outward resource. Sure, the right resource can resolve the need so you no longer feel it. But the inner reality of that need does not wait on what resource you use to pacify it. Anankelogy recognizes how every inward requirement to function exists independent of every other inward requirement to function. Need-response Need-response meticulously distinguishes between unchosen needs and chosen responses to those needs. The more you expect others to adjust something they cannot change, the further you drag yourself needlessly into a conflict. No unchosen need clashes with other unchosen needs . Keep proper focus of any dispute or disagreement exclusively on chosen responses to such needs. Or risk provoking more problems and pain. Reactive Problem Need-response identifies the widespread problem of what it calls need-response conflation . That’s when we fail to distinguish between inflexible natural needs or unchosen needs and flexible or chosen responses to them. Most conflicts and most wars between groups or nations involve this problem of need-response conflation . You can see this in commentary about the Hamas-Israeli conflict . Emotionally charged pundits claim it is a false moral equivalency to compare the deaths of Israeli citizens by Hamas attackers with the deaths of Palestinian civilians from the IDF ’s reaction. We can question the actions of either side. But cannot legitimately questions the inner needs that prompted such behavior. Many influential people show themselves complicit in overlooking this vital difference between reacting to unresolved needs and the objective fact of the needs themselves that cannot be easily changed. Too many misapply the critique of “bothsidesism ” or false balance by conflating unchosen needs with chosen responses . That easily leads to double standards, hypocrisy and selfish rationalizing. You can spot this problem of conflation when indulgent side-takin g replaces any empathy for each other’s unchosen needs . Responsive Solution Anankelogy cuts through the myopic arguments on either side, about human shields or colonizing occupiers , to first affirm the unchosen needs on all sides. Anankelogy affirms all life as morally equal in value. Any civilian death on one side is equally abhorrent as any civilian death on the other side . Indeed, anankelogy asserts that any loss of life in a violent conflict is objectively equivalent. Individuals of either side experience the same inflexible needs . Both Israelis and Palestinians do not choose to require freedom from harm to fully function. Both Hamas-represented Palestinians and Likud -represented Israelis naturally need security and self-determination . Each side can choose how to respond to those needs. But no one can choose to have or not have the needs themselves. Have you ever tried to stop needing any security? Or tried to no longer require the freedom to determine your own destiny? As you would have others affirm your unchosen needs in a conflict, need-response encourages you affirm the unchosen needs of those you oppose. Opposing what another inflexibly needs does not extinguish a moral conflict, but risks enflaming it . You don’t choose your needs; your needs choose you . Need-response applies the familiar business communication format of the “praise sandwich ” to ensure this distinction is made in a conflict. Positive news : Affirm any identifiable unchosen needs. “I recognize how you must follow the rules to avoid rejection from your boss.” Negative news : Bring up how their chosen responses affect your unchosen needs. “I need you to see how your apparent misapplication of the rules could cost me my job.” Positive news : Continue building rapport for mutual understanding. “The more you respect my need for job security, the easier it can be for me to preserve your acceptance by your boss.” When faithfully applied, you can recast almost any conflict from an obstacle into an ownable challenge. And turn almost any conflict from such a challenge into a growth opportunity. The more you affirm the unchosen needs of others, the more inclined they will be to affirm yours. You should then be able to observe a decline in animosities, and a flowering of more peace and love . Responding to your needs How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these: Is seems possible and sometimes likely to confuse a chosen response with its unchosen need. How can we get elites and influential powerholders to appreciates this difference? I’m sure there’s a lot more that sparks conflicts that this need-response conflation. It seems my actions could change an unchosen needs, adding an element of choice. Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below. Engage this principle in our forum Engagement guide Any visitor to the Engagement forum can view all posts. So do keep that in mind when posting. Sign up or sign in to comment on these posts and to create your own posts. Using this platform assumes you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . Remember to keep the following in mind: Quote the principle you are responding to, and its identifier letter & number. Let’s be specific. Demonstrate need-responsiveness in your interactions here. Let’s respect each other. Engage supportive feedback from others on this platform. Let’s grow together. Together, let’s improve our need-responsiveness . Together, let’s spread some love . See other principles in this category - Foundational - Basic - General - Pain - Conflict - Authority - Law - Love - Previous Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link Next

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Refunctions List A refunction is anything in your life that raises your capacity to fully function. forgiveness The more you let go of your anger toward those who wronged you, the more your needs resolve. Read More Let go of your anger when wronged. Release yourself from your own self-chastisement. View any infringement of your rights as a mistake they can freely admit. Give others the space to honestly admit their imperfections. Rebuild trust by acknowledging your errors toward others. See how forgiveness resolves more needs. gentleness The softer you approach others in need of care, the more your needs resolve. Read More Be ready to give a softer touch where appropriate. Stay sensitive to those who appear alarmed by any harshness. They may be going through intense pain, or suffering some kind of trauma. Discern when a scalpel is better than a sledgehammer. Know where it's best to be humble yet firm. Tread softly through a field of wounded soldiers. Avoid reopening old wounds. Let your gentleness help them to more fully heal and grow strong. grace The more you humbly admit your current imperfections, the more your needs resolve. Read More Admit where you are honestly at in life, and not quite where you or others expect you to be. Release yourself from unrealistic expectations, and appreciate getting to your goals one step at a time. Allow room for unavoidable setbacks. Meet others where they are at, instead of where you may expect them to be. With more grace, observe more needs resolving. gratitude The more you show your thankfulness, the more your needs resolve. Read More Orient yourself to make the most of what you receive in life and avoid taking it for granted. Position yourself with your attitude to receive more of what your life requires. Affirm other's generosity toward you. Insist others not take your offerings for granted. Spur their gratitude by refusing their exploitation of your generosity. With more gratitude, observe more needs resolving. honesty The more others hear and trust you to speak truthfully, the more your needs resolve. Read More Say what you need to say without guile. Avoid manipulating others with words you know aren't true. Avoid putting yourself in a situation you feel you must deceive others. Nurture a reputation of being reliable in what you express. Be authentic. Hold others to a higher standard of being forthright with you. See how honesty resolves more needs in your life. humility The less arrogant you are toward others, the more your needs resolve. Read More Drop any pretense that you know best for others. Don’t cling too tightly to what you think must be good for yourself. Make room for others to face you honestly and interact with you as authentically as possible. Let your pride balance with your capacity to be critiqued. Nurture the humility in others by not provoking their defensiveness, but instead treating them with kindness. With more humility, see more needs resolve. justice The more you pursue what is fair for all, the more your needs resolve. Read More There is more to justice than grieving a loss due to violence. Step beyond mere relief to address your needs with others on par with them addressing their needs with you. Hold others accountable who try to ease their needs or wants at your unwelcome expense. While life isn't fair, interactions in relationships are either fair with balanced results or that relationship does not work. Instead of reacting with revenge, embarrass them by responding to their needs better than they respond to yours. Hold both sides to the same standard of conduct for any relation. See how substantive justice resolves more needs. kindness The more you pleasantly smile and encourage others, the more your needs resolve. Read More Refrain from harsh words. Give encouragement to those in need. Smile more towards others, even if they do not smile back. Let your smile sustain your positive attitude, especially in those moments when you don't feel like smiling. Yet be sure your positive regard stays sincere. Be an example of the level of kindness we all need for more civil interactions, leading to more meaningful lives. mercy The more you let go of your rightful reaction to being wronged, the more your needs resolve. Read More Be ready to let go not only of your anger, but let go also of your right to exact vengeance for a suffered wrong. Give more room to restore a damaged relationship by offering to forgo just compensation. Inspire their gratitude toward you with your readiness, willingness, and ability to clear their debts toward you. Engender mercy from others with your humility and remorse. Let your mercy demonstrate your love for others. See mercy resolve more needs. reconciliation The more you rebuild your trustworthiness after admitting a wrong, the more your needs resolve. Read More After letting go of your anger with forgiveness, continue nurturing the relationship by offering to restore any losses. Rebuild trust by compensating others for any damage for actions caused. Respect where others cannot go on without restoring what they’ve lost. Connect with others where they hurt, with empathetic generosity. Respond to other's gestures toward you who seek to rebuild any damaged trust. See how atonement resolves needs. 1 1 ... 1 ... 1

Wellness is psychosocial. < Back C07 General Principle List of all principles Wellness is psychosocial. Image: Pixabay – jplenio (click on meme to see source image) Summary The more you address your personal needs to the neglect of your social situational needs, the less you can maintain wellness. The more you address your social needs to the neglect of your personal situational needs, you will also lose full wellness. Your wellbeing counts on a balance of all internal psychological factors with relatively equal attention to all external factors shaping your needs. Description Which do you think is more likely? Mental illness occurs only in the mind so changing one’s thinking leads to mental wellbeing. OR Mental and physical wellbeing results from a mix of internal and external wellness factors. Anankelogy Anankelogy recognizes how the quality of your wellbeing depends equally on internal and external factors. This challenges conventional thinking in your favor. Wellness remains elusive when failing to complement its internal contributors with its external contributors. Conventional thinking around wellness, at least in a Western cultural context, tends to bend toward internal psychological and biological determinants . Much of psycho therapy assumes if you change enough of your thinking and behaviors you will attain wellness. Much disappointment soon follows. Only recently has the practice of psychiatry and related fields begun to acknowledge external socioenvironmental contri butors to wellbeing . A biopsychosocial model emerged in the late 20th century, but the old model persists. If you seek out healing, expect the internally reductionist paradigm to persist. After all, it can be easier to get a struggling individual to adjust to a sick system than to cure an immensely large sick system. When the impersonal healer objectifies the body of those hurt by society, they don’t have to face the possibility that they’re contributing to the ongoing damage. If all of your anxiety about losing your job springs from unfair yet legally protected actions from your boss, psychotherapy may not be the answer. Perhaps the psychotherapist can help the client nail the source of their anxiety to a situation beyond their personal control. But then what? Need-response Need-response picks up there. As a new professional practice, it starts with the foundational premise that wellness is psychosocial . Anankelogy recognizes how your wellbeing gets shaped equally by internal bio-psychological factors and socioenvironmental factors. Instead of trying to integrate a new biopsychosocial model or vulnerability-stress model , need-response begins with a holistic premis e of wellness . Instead of assuming society functions well with its current alienating norms (privileging avoidant adversarialism ), need-response works to reconnect us with each other to optimize our personal and collective wellbeing. Need-response’s holistic approach goes further and includes a spiritual dimension. Anankelogy recognizes that recurring spiritual practices dependably correlates with resolution of needs. For example, the more you vulnerably trust Creator G-d when acknowledging being too powerless to face a crisis on your own, you “inexplicably” can find ways to rise above the problem and find a meaningful solution. Social sciences recognize moderate correlations between two variables as significant because of the complexities involved. Anankelogy dares to apply this to the objective fact of each unchosen need . Reactive Problem The less we appreciate wellness as equally internal and external, the more we can get pulled into what anankelogy recognizes as psychosocial imbalance . You either address your sensitive self-needs at the expense of your affected social needs , or you address your sensitive social needs at the expense of your affected self-needs . For example, exaggerating your self-need for privacy to the point of neglecting your social need for intimacy . Or becoming overdependent on others to satisfy your social need for supports that you underserve your self-need for self-initiative . Your body then warns you with emotional pain that something here is not quite right. We often react to this emotional pain with “psychosocial vacillation ” of swinging between the extremes of “reductionist individual ism ” and “ex aggerated collectiv ism ”. We attach ourselves ideologically to generalizations trusted to ease this emotional tension. We take a political side to cope with our troubled psychosocial orientation . Full wellness remains disturbingly elusive the more we cling to civic legalism for relief. That’s when we prioritize obedience to laws or to social norms over serving the needs for which laws and norms exist. Wellness actually declines the more avoid its psychosocial foundation. Where do you go for professional help to address a load of anxiety overwhelming your life from some situation? Seeking psychotherapy can be fruitlessly stigma tizing if implicitly expecting to adjust only your internal factors. Seeking legal or political help can become counterproductive if only offering some pain relief after adjusting some external factors. Responsive Solution Need-response was created to equally address the internal biopsychological factors and externa socioenvironmental factors impacting your wellbeing. No other professional service exists that recognizes wellness as psychosocial from the start. Only need-response sets you up to resolve your affected self-needs and social needs equally. Only need-response provides for psychosocial balancing your self-needs and social needs . Only need-response seeks to fully resolve each other’s affected self-needs and social needs . Responsivism begins at the individual level. But when held back by impenetrable social pressures, such responsive services can segue into a robust wellness campaign . The service client learns how to speak truth to power (STTP ) in ways those powerful are incentivized to listen to those impacted (LTTI ). Everyone’s wellness requires psychosocial balance . For example, many among the wrongly convicted innocent cannot be adequately served by either psychotherapy or legal resources. Psychotherapy may help them get through the consequences of an unresponsive judicial system, but the external contributors must be addressed. The legal system of the adversarial judicial process has yet to faithfully identify and address each viable case of wrongly convicted innocence. Innocence projects cannot serve each viable case of compelling innocence. If the available facts of the case do not present a path to reverse the wrongful conviction, even if they can see grounds for innocence, such innocence litigators typically will not serve the innocent claimant. This includes a population estimated in the tens or perhaps hundreds of thousands. But our current legal system lets them all rot. Responsivism takes a different approach. Instead of the court’s binary options (i.e., pass-fail, guilt-innocence, defendant-complainant), “responsive innocence ” automatically scores the viability of an innocence claim. It invites the claimant to compare the details of their case to known exonerations . The more the claimant can cite factors producing other wrongful convictions (e.g., misidentification, official misconduct, tunnel vision, debunked forensic science, coerced confession), the higher the innocence viability score. This unique approach goes even further. It upends this impersonal and adversarial legal framework to serve the needs for which laws exist. The falsely accused claimant identifies what they see as the affected needs of the accuser or accusers. Then they can raise their own impacted needs. They respond to the needs of all involved, including the prosecutor and law enforcement authorities. The self-needs and social needs of all get addressed, toward better wellness for all. Responding to your needs How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these: I’m in therapy now with an MSW and she does address the social dimensions of my problem. Sounds like psychosocial imbalance may have a lot to do with political extremism. Where does the spiritual dimension fit into this psychosocial balance approach? Correlations spotted in spiritually related results seem highly disputable. Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below. Engage this principle in our forum Engagement guide Any visitor to the Engagement forum can view all posts. So do keep that in mind when posting. Sign up or sign in to comment on these posts and to create your own posts. Using this platform assumes you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . Remember to keep the following in mind: Quote the principle you are responding to, and its identifier letter & number. Let’s be specific. Demonstrate need-responsiveness in your interactions here. Let’s respect each other. Engage supportive feedback from others on this platform. Let’s grow together. Together, let’s improve our need-responsiveness . Together, let’s spread some love . See other principles in this category - Foundational - Basic - General - Pain - Conflict - Authority - Law - Love - Previous Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link Next

Recognize and affirm the inflexible needs on each side of a politicized issue. Then speak to the flexible ways we respond to these inflexible needs. Turn political conflict into opportunities for mutual engagement. About Introducing Anankelogy the book: You NEED This Anankelogy Principles Glossary Politically Homeless Optimal Politics OP Interest Need-response Need-responders Community Engagement Book Online Groups Development PH Responsive Depolarization Depolarize politics with empathy and love Download Responsive depolarization interactive tool fresh approach - download Turn political conflict into opportunities for mutual support. No need to debate when you can vulnerably relate. It's not about different beliefs. It's not about who has the better argument. It's not about who is right or wrong. It's about inflexible needs . It's about the objective fact of having a different priority of needs. The more you can vulnerably relate your vulnerable needs, the less you get pulled into pointless debate . Turn political conflict into opportunities for mutual understanding and respect. Status quo politics remains a win-lose proposition. The winner at the ballot gets to relieve their pain at the expense of the losing side. All sides get sucked into endless conflict . Everyone loses something. Harmony Politics offers a win-win alternative. All sides get opportunity to remove their pain by resolving needs prompting their pain. All sides get incentivized to perpetuate peace . Everyone gains something. Responsive depolarization 2.0-01 Responsive depolarization 2.0-03 Responsive depolarization 2.0-36 Responsive depolarization 2.0-01 1/36 Sample pages This interactive spreadsheet tool was originally called Harmony Politics. It provides a viable path to depolarize our politics, with empathy and love. Scroll through these sample pages at the left to see how a fresh copy appears. Enter your own experience into it, and see it come alive with refreshing insights. Download your copy to see for yourself. Ne email capture. No commitments. Totally free. What if our stubborn political differences stem from an inflexible orientation? Gay conversion fails. Forcing lefthanders to write righthanded fails. Coercing an introvert to be extroverted fails. Perhaps political debating is a thinly veiled rejection of each other’s orientation. Let's Unpack Politics - political differences general Let's Unpack Politics - political differences specific Let's Unpack Politics - political differences general 1/2 Neither side is better than the other Anankelogy recognizes the objective fact of one's different priority of needs. If your urban life goads you to rely on government assistance, or if your rural life reaches more of its potential with less government involvement, you objectively function better when resolving your priority needs. Political beliefs cannot change that. What drives your political orientation? Let me thank you Whether you lean politically left or lean right, in between or not at all, thank you. Thank You to both sides Has anyone thanked you lately? For how your particular politics contribute value to all of our lives? Whether you lean politically left, or lean right, I personally thank you now. Do you lean left? If leaning liberal , you naturally prioritize your need for societal inclusion, laws against discrimination, equal treatment, and the like. If living in a heavily populated location, like a big city, you find yourself more vulnerable to the needs of others. Your situation orients you to need widespread cooperation over localized efforts. Liberalism gives expression to your inner orientation that prioritizes your need for social equality. Instead of others debating your views, let them appreciate your vulnerable priority of situational needs. Sample pages for left leaning If you identify as more liberal or progressive, your pages will look something like this. You can always change the setting to view how the pages appear to conservatives. Do you lean right? If leaning conservative , you naturally prioritize your need for family cohesion, property rights, self-sufficiency, and the like. If living in a sparsely populated location, like a rural town, you find yourself frequently fending for yourself. Your situation orients you to need localized efforts over widespread cooperation. Conservatism gives expression to your inner orientation that prioritizes your need for personal freedom. Instead of others debating your views , let them appreciate your vulnerable priority of situational needs. Sample pages for right leaning If you identify as more conservative, your pages will look something like this. You can always change the setting to view how the pages appear to liberals and progressives. Empathize with the inflexible needs on both sides of every politicized issue. Here are eight to lead the way. Step beyond the misapplication of "bothsidesism" that dismisses the need for empathizing with all sides. Honor the needs of others as you would have them honor your own. Than call that love. Raising the standard Harmony Politics raises the bar. Instead of indulging in side-taking that divide us into defensive camps, let this tool nurture our capacity to love one another more. Break free from the tap of selfish politics. Replace it with the power of love, of honoring their politicized stance as you would have them honor your own. We can solve far more political problems by honoring each other's needs than opposing them. Key Politicized Issues Depolarizing with love You don't have to feel any love to respect their needs as you would have them respect your own. Others don't have to feel any warmth toward you in order to respect your different priority on politicized issues. Learn how to be more loving toward others with a different political stance by downloading your own copy of Harmony Politics now. Replace adversarial debating with mutual relating Currently requires MS Excel or reader to utilize. After you download the spreadsheet, it will open in PROTECTED VIEW. Click on Enable Editing to start using it. The form will not work until you do. Ready to try a new way? Download "Responsive depolarization" interactive tool By using this tool, you agree with our Terms of Use and our Privacy Policy . If these terms and this policy do not fit your need, you are not to use this tool. We welcome you to contact us to suggest how we can fit these to your particular needs.

Big changes may seem stronger. But small changes often last longer. < Back C10 General Principle List of all principles Big changes may seem stronger. But small changes often last longer. Image: Pixabay – MartinStr (click on meme to see source image) Summary The more gradual an adjustment to resolve some need, the more likely the change will remain. Too drastic of a change tends to disrupt patterns serving other needs. Those affected needs push back to undermine the change. Crash dieting can swing back to binge eating if the sudden change upends or ignores other needs. Slow change allows other affected needs to also be satisfied in their own way. Description Which do you think is more likely? Lasting desirable changes only occurs when immense in scope. OR Meaningful change only lasts when integrated with other things we need to last. Anankelogy If only you could quickly solve your problems, right? A big solution may seem like just what you need to fix a big problem. But too general a solution often brings with it a set of its own problems. For example, indulging your hunger too quickly with a big meal can lead to overeating. Or how throwing money at a problem likes to spark new problems. Desperation to ease pain can tempt us to miss the small steps necessary to create sustainable solutions. Smaller steps have time to integrate with other areas in your life. Too immense of a change can quickly unwind and send you back somewhere worse than before. Progress is not always linear. Two quick steps forward may jerk you back a step. Changes in one area disturbs other areas you likely do not want to change. Sometimes in ways you can’t even see, at least not at first. For example, consider the consequences of ending a relationship too abruptly. You fault the other, but then the same problem pops up in your next relationship. So you quit that relationship and start another, only to see the same problem. Coincidence? Quitting a relationship may seem like your only option. The more your intent is to avoid life’s natural discomforts, the more drawn to seek drastic changes to try to get back to your comfort zone. The bigger the jerk in the opposite direction, the more likely you end up vacillating between extremes. Need-response Anankelogy understands you must address your self-needs and your social needs to faithfully attend your many other needs. Consider your need to get from one place to another. You must have the initiative to provide for the means for travel where no one else is going to raise a finger. You must also seek supports to provide the vehicle you can never produce completely by yourself. Life presents a mix of these inward-looking self-needs and outward-focused social needs . Life also presents barriers to equally resolving your affected self-needs and affected social needs . Life can pull you toward being able to resolve more of your self-needs than your social needs , or more of your social needs than your self-needs . The more you can resolve these complementary sets of psychosocial needs on par with each other, the more you can enjoy psychosocial balance . The more your life eases your self-needs more than your social needs , or social needs more than self-needs , the more you naturally slide into psychosocial imbalance . You end up vacillating between generalizations to address the resulting strain. This is when you most likely opt for “big” changes. You feel a need to quickly get to the other side. Such vacillation can easily become a painful trap holding you back from reaching your life’s full potential. Reactive Problem Once trapped in this self-defeating vacillation cycle, swinging wildly between extremes to claw for some kind of relief, the more your “big” changes set you up for more painful problems down the road. You react to problems, you overcompensate, you exaggerate, and may even slip into despair. Once routinized into a daily norm, you naturally develop a psychosocial orientation toward one or the other. If your self-needs routinely resolve more than your social needs , you tend to gravitate toward what anankelogy identifies as a “wide ” orientation. This predisposes you to politically left leaning views. If your social needs routinely resolve more than your self-needs , you tendto gravitate toward what anankelogy identifies as a “deep ” orientation. This predisposes you to politically right leaning views. The more you try to ease the resulting tension with the big changes of ideology, the more problems you find. The more you generally react instead of carefully respond to your underserved needs, the less likely the changes you make can grow roots and remain. Responsive Solution Need-response provides Responsive Depolarization to cultivate small adjustments from psychosocial imbalance into psychosocial balance . Need-response supports meaningful adjustments by integrating character traits like grace and empathy , to help support sustainable growth. You can also apply these character “refunctions ” in the need-responsive tool called Personally Responsive . You melt norms of alienation by personally addressing what others may need of you. Which can spark a meaningful dialogue of what you specifically need of each other. You can then let go of that desperation for making big changes as you relate better to where each other is honestly at. The Relationally Responsive tool helps you appreciate how nature continually pulls you toward psychosocial balance . Let it show you how you naturally go through seasons to identify and address your strained self-needs on one season, and then your affected social needs in a later season. Each smaller adjustment integrates the miniscule details bringing meaning to your life. Nature produces the many needs you experience. So let nature guide you toward deeper balance. Then you can let the smaller positive changes reach deep to establish solid roots. Then your desirable changes will definitely last longer. Responding to your needs How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these: Just because a change is huge cannot imply that it will not last. The better I can relate to the needs of others, the easier to mutually agree on meaningful change. I’ve made small changes and big changes and even some small ones don’t last. Change for change sake is not necessarily good, and can actually be quite bad. Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below. Engage this principle in our forum Engagement guide Any visitor to the Engagement forum can view all posts. So do keep that in mind when posting. Sign up or sign in to comment on these posts and to create your own posts. Using this platform assumes you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . Remember to keep the following in mind: Quote the principle you are responding to, and its identifier letter & number. Let’s be specific. Demonstrate need-responsiveness in your interactions here. Let’s respect each other. Engage supportive feedback from others on this platform. Let’s grow together. Together, let’s improve our need-responsiveness . Together, let’s spread some love . 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Power Problems Power problems occur when impactors impede impactees trying to properly resolve needs . power problems & power-impacted needs properly resolving needs Power problem ID: A05 Universal Cultural Incompetence Insensitive to valuable differences cultural incompetence cultural competency < previous next > Cultural Incompetence Neglecting the impactee’s culturally different values or perspectives, where the impactor potentially pressures the impactee to fit into their cookie cutter cultural norms. The impactee may rightly fear some form of retribution for not fitting into the impactor’s cultural expectation. Or feel their full value remains overlooked and their contributions routinely neglected. cultural competency The further along the cultural competence continuum , the more trustworthy the impactor to those vulnerable impactees who valuably exist and properly act outside of mainstream cultural norms. Whether a healthcare provider or a different impactor, the impactor's responsiveness to impactee cultural differences fall along a recognized continuum: Stage 1. Cultural Destructiveness Stage 2. Cultural Incapacity Stage 3. Cultural Blindness Stage 4. Cultural Precompetence Stage 5. Cultural Competence and Proficiency Need-response can guide the targeted impactor to improve their cultural competency by walking them through the need-response process with an impactee. The impactor learns to appreciate the impactee's hidden value and how to properly address anything that is not appropriate simply because it is culturally different. The impactee can then contribute more of their full value when free to be their authentic selves. And their differentness can invite the impactor to inquire if the impactee sees something that the impactor cannot through the lens of their own familiarity bias. The impactor then earns legitimacy to reliably impact impactees who are culturally different from oneself. And gain competitive legitimacy when tapping into impactees' unique perspectives. Cultural Incompetence Corrupting Influence Cognitive Contraction Coercive Compliance Coerced Poor Options Dependence

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Two wrongs don’t make a right, but sometimes they make a law. < Back G06 Law Principle List of all principles Two wrongs don’t make a right, but sometimes they make a law. Image: Pixabay - Leolo212 (click on meme to see source image) Summary The more both sides to a policy debate resort to generalizing, the less both sides address what either side specifically needs. Messy political processes often produce compromise that disappoint both sides. Adversarial justice does little to address the specific needs fueling adjudicated conflicts. Neither adjudicated or political side can fully resolve their affected needs. Or remove their pain. Or fully function. The results often help the norm enforcers more than those these norms exist to serve. You can be legally right, and still be empirically wrong. Which legally privileges damaging wellness outcomes. Description Which do you think is more likely? You must take a firm stance on every issue so that others don’t take advantage of you. OR Only by affirming the inflexible needs on every side of an issue can we find sustainable solutions. Anankelogy Defensive posturing easily ignites a defensive posture in return. Reacting to injustice with a counter injustice is no justice at all. Hurting those who hurt you ultimately hurts us all. The measure applied sets the standard replied . Opposing each another's inflexible needs never solves a moral conflict . Such mutual opposition typically perpetuates the conflict, as both sides must dig in their heals to guard their accosted wellbeing . Compromise on one or both sides may provide a temporary peace, only to explode later as those ignored painful needs refuse to be ignored. Laws by themselves do not solve conflicts; people do by how they responsibly address each other’s affected needs. Not by how they oppose each other. That almost always leads to ruin, often privileged by law, yet easily blamed on the other side. The adversarial structure of our law-based institutions pulls us toward mutual annihilation. The typical winner in a court or ballot contest gains relief, but no disciplined path toward sustainably resolving their needs. The ignored inflexible needs of the losing side persist to spur more conflict. These adversarial institutions convincingly present themselves as the only available solution to this conundrum. Consequently, we are persuaded to rely more on laws and authorities to provide fleeting relief from these perpetuated conflicts. We overlook how these institutions benefit from keeping us embattled against each other. Adversarialism incentivizes these institutions to trap us into mutual conflict. To pit us against each other. To divide us. To claim only one side can be right, while the other wrong—overlooking disconfirming nuance. And obscuring the amorality of our inflexible needs . We need an alternative to this battle fatigue. We need something that more effectively addresses our affected needs. We need a visionary new profession that incentivizes greater responsibility to our many neglected inflexible needs . Need-response Need-response is that new profession. Instead of serving laws, it serves your needs for which laws exist. Authority proves less necessary where needs can freely resolve . Instead of pitting us against each other as legalism does, need-response incentivizes each side to engage and honor the inflexible needs of the others. It cultivates our potential to be more loving to each other. Instead of spurring destructive selfishness as legalism does, need-response draws all sides out of their shells to engage and honor each other’s needs. It’s set to redirect self-interest into shared interests. Instead of hiding behind rational arguments as legalism does, need-response cultivates a shared environment of mutual engagement , where each can safely drop their guard and vulnerably know each other and themselves. Reactive Problem Law-based adversarial systems easily pull us into opposing each other’s inflexible needs . This spurs what anankelogy identifies as oppo culture , which normalizes opposing each other in ways that squander our potential to be more loving to each other. Opposing another’s errors is one thing, but opposing their inflexible needs is a greater error. Since every need exists as an objective fact , it is objectively wrong to oppose such needs. Legalism privileges you to rely on generalizations. You then overlook the specifics essential to resolve needs. What seems right can actually be wrong, protected by law. Legalism privileges you to avoid the natural discomforts of resolving needs. It offers pain relief, which guarantees more pain as the unaddressed needs trigger more pain. What you trust to relieve your pain seems totally right, but is actually wrong while protected by law. Legalism privileges you to oppose each other’s inflexible needs . This surely triggers their defensiveness, which then provokes yours. You insist you’re right to protect yourself as is your legal right, but you ultimately suffer in ways protected by law. The further both sides overgeneralize to avoid uncomfortable specifics of each other’s needs, each tends to believe their pain-easing norms represents the defensible truth. Both sides are wrong when insisting they are right. Both sides can end up believing and pursuing the opposite of what is true and have it backed up law. The Old Testament prophet Isaiah identifies this “moral inversion” (Is. 5:20 NIV): “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” If you take a political stance so extreme that you oppose another’s inflexible need as your “right”, then you are wrong. If you seek to win an adjudicated conflict by opposing another side’s inflexible need as your legal right, you are wrong. When both sides oppose the other’s inflexible need under color of law , both sides are wrong. But politics and the judiciary encourage you to be wrong. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they sure can be privileged by some law. And more laws get created to keep both trapped in such conflicts, to keep them relying on legalism to cope with the grinding pain that it helps create. Tragically, the more we get sucked into this morass, the less likely we can see it for what is honestly is: a self-destructive form of legalism. If this is all we know, and depend upon it for protection, we easily latch onto it even as it costs us from reaching our higher potential. Responsive Solution Need-response counters such toxic legalism by emphasizing inflexible needs over flexible laws. It tries to this in at least three ways. Degeneralize , to get to relevant specifics to resolve inflexible needs . Does a legalist approach overgeneralize? Or get to relevant specifics of the affected needs? Dealienate , to engage each other’s identified inflexible needs . Does an applied legalist approach evade discomfort? Or willingly engage others no matter how unpleasantly challenging? Depolarize , to mutually understand and support resolving each other’s inflexible needs . Does the tried legalist approach instantly take sides? Or affirm inflexible needs before questioning how they’re addressed? Need-response asserts the higher authority of properly resolving needs in love . We can improve our wellness the more honor the needs of others as our own, to incentivize more resolved needs. Laws exist to serve our inflexible needs, not legalist institutions . Need-response holds itself accountable to improving measurable wellness outcomes . All legalist systems lack such accountability. Psychotherapy tends to perform better, but in the name of personal agency it routinely overlooks external contributors to poor wellness outcomes. If impeding our attempts to properly resolve needs under privilege of law, we hold such legal authorities and psychotherapeutic authorities to the same level of accountability. Or we must insist they step aside—or coordinate their efforts with ours—to resolve needs to improve wellness outcomes, for which laws exist to serve. Wellness outcomes from resolving needs matters more than laws. Toxic legalism is empirically wrong . Two or more legally privileged wrongs will never make things right. What can make things right is a more loving approach that results in more fully resolving needs, resulting in greater levels of measurable wellness. Responding to your needs How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these: Who or what keeps these need-responders accountable to prioritizing inflexible needs ? Conflicts tend to emphasize some needs while ignoring others, with or without laws. I cannot envision a society where the rule of law is not paramount. Not all legalism is toxic, right? There must be some good to emphasizing the role of law. Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below. Engage this principle in our forum Engagement guide Any visitor to the Engagement forum can view all posts. So do keep that in mind when posting. Sign up or sign in to comment on these posts and to create your own posts. Using this platform assumes you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . Remember to keep the following in mind: Quote the principle you are responding to, and its identifier letter & number. Let’s be specific. Demonstrate need-responsiveness in your interactions here. Let’s respect each other. Engage supportive feedback from others on this platform. Let’s grow together. Together, let’s improve our need-responsiveness . Together, let’s spread some love . See other principles in this category - Foundational - Basic - General - Pain - Conflict - Authority - Law - Love - Previous Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link Next