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SERVE THEIR NEED
Break the ice of alienation by offering to serve another's need.
THEY SERVE YOURS
Inspire the one served to serve a simple need of yours.
Mad as hell
If feeling lonely, you’re not alone. The WHO and others report we’re in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Competition kills our cooperation. Hyper-individuality is literally killing many of us. Fewer of us personally relate to each other. Few of us remain personally responsive to each other’s needs. Many of us are getting mad as hell.
Give to receive
Perhaps all we need is a little nudge in the right direct. Perhaps if someone reached out to you and simply asked what they could do for you today. Perhaps you could reach out to someone and offer to do something simple yet meaningful for another This tool helps you do just that. Let's replace such alienation by being personally responsive to each other's underserved needs.
Mutual regard
This Personally Responsive tool features the ABCs of the "praise sandwich" communication format. It cultivates a mutual regard for each other's natural needs.
A = Address and serve their needs.
B = Bring up your own affected needs.
C = Continue supporting each other.
You to melt the ice of alienation by initiating the responsiveness to needs that you also require.
Mutual character building
Thank others to incentivize them to appreciate you. Grant mercy to others who will then be encouraged to be merciful toward you. Humbly admit your faults to make it okay for them to honestly acknowledge their shortcomings to you. Resolve these deeper needs in the process of being more responsive to each other's needs.
Personally Responsive in 8 pages
Pages green highlighted are for the sender. Pages lavender highlighted are specifically for the recipient. Click on the page title here to quickly cover its content below.
p1 - Cover page
p2 - Knowing each other’s needs
p3 - Instructions for recipient
p4 - 1. Addressing and serving your needs
p5 - 2. Bring up my own affected needs
p6 - 3. Continue supporting each other
Or scroll down to dive into each page. You can click on the page title below to get back up to this list.
Simple enter the recipient's name and sender's name in the provided fields. This personalizes the tool.
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If these cursory instructions are not enough, you can click the button to go online for further guidance. Or click this button here.
This lavender colored page begins the section the sender will send to the recipient. So this portion of the tool specifically addresses the named recipient of this service.
The recipient can also go online for further guidance. Or click the button here.
You pick an appropriate question
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Is there something about me that I could improve?
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Is there anything I've done for which I should apologize?
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Do you need my forgiveness for something?
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Do you need to meet in person and talk?
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Could you use a hug from me?
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You tell me what it is I could do for you.
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Do I have an unrealistic expectation of you?
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Have I hurt you in any way that I should rectify?
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As the sender, you begin your “personally responsive” journey here. You pick an appropriate service question from the drop-down list. Then put into more detail in the white box below it.
Below that, you pick a character quality that aptly applies. Then you apply that universal principle as you fill in the white box at the bottom of the page. You genuinely open the door for relating better to others.
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Refer to the online instructions for more guidance. Suggest a service question for us to add right here.
Research indicates that the more you are generous to others, the more inclined to be generous in return. Not necessarily in some quid pro quo arrangement. Usually with spontaneous intent to be fairly reciprocal.
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Follow the same steps used previously. The online instructions provide further guidance. Again, help us improve this by suggesting a service request we could add.
You now pick an appropriate question for a need of yours.
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I want to forgive you for something you once did.
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I want to reveal to you something about myself.
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I want to tell you something I've never told anyone before.
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I want to talk to you about something deeply personal.
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I want to pass along some memories.
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As the sender, you invite the recipient to continue this meaningful exchange. This is optional. If you only needed to offer the one service, this need not apply. Just let the recipient know.
As the invited recipient, you decide which level this was responsive to your needs. Just select one of the five options. You’re invited to download your own copy of this tool. Then you can take the initiative to engage underserved needs.
See the online instructions for further guidance. Optionally offer any ideas for how to improve this tool to fit your needs.
This optional step takes this to another level. As the sender, you invite the recipient to provide social proof of your responsiveness to needs.
As the recipient, you hold the sender publicly accountable by incentivizing them to earn your trust. Let the examples inspire you to briefly confirm your appreciation.
After writing out your testimonial, click the green “Go to AF.org” button to post it online. Give any suggestion how to improve this for you.
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This prepares the sender considering a wellness campaign. You can learn more about this new service by supporting the participating sender.
Let this tool help you start a deeper conversation around each other's needs. Whether between this sender and recipient, or between others. Three options are given.
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Freewheeling option (FREE).
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Moderated option (FREE).
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Supported option (Free to start).
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Explore each in more detail in the online instructions. Each may change as we find what works best.
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Help improve this tool by offering your helpful feedback online.
Next tab: Response Register
If you find this tool helpful to nurture a dialogue around each other's needs, you may want to log the interactions. And track who said what and when.
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For example, you invite your sister to report a need and she agrees to continue the dialogue. You then invite a coworker, but they cease interacting after the first exchange. Tracking how long for replies can also prove insightful.
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Check the online instructions for more guidance for using this Response Register.
3rd tab: Instructions how to save as a PDF
As the sender, you will want to send to the recipient only the lavender pages portion. The document's "print area" covers only this portion to send to the recipient.
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If unfamiliar with how to save an Excel spreadsheet as a PDF, use these step to walk you through the process. Click on any of these 6 listed steps to instantly navigate to that step below.
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Clicking the "Save as" header takes you back to the bottom of page 2 of the main PR tab, just before the start of this section that you will be saving to send to the recipient. See any further help with this online.
Bigger plans
You also freely serve another’s need in a wellness warmup. Which serves as a precursor to a full wellness campaign. Responsivism begins on an individual level. But when that proves not enough to effect needed change, you build social support with a robust wellness campaign.
First, you raise the standard for how others you know are to personally treat you. With a wellness campaign, you hold powerholders to this higher standard of mutual regard.
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Or you can simply use this tool as a one-off. That’s fine. You can also aim to only use it once, but then decide to use again and again. It’s free. You can keep the option open to segue into a wellness warmup to expand the frontiers of responsivism. It’s completely up to you, the ball is in your court. Thank you for simply doing your small part to improve life for us all!
Reconnect with acts of kindness
Ready to try a new way?
By using this tool, you agree with our Terms of Use and our Privacy Policy. If these terms and this policy do not fit your need, you are not to use this tool. We welcome you to contact us to suggest how we can fit these to your particular needs.