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The more you generalize, the less of reality you realize. < Back C09 General Principle List of all principles The more you generalize, the less of reality you realize. Image: Pixabay – FelixMittermeier (click on meme to see source image) Summary The more you rely on simplifying reality, the more details of reality you likely overlook. We often keep it simple to avoid uncomfortable facts, or to hold together a coalition, often both. The more you courageously address each relevant detail, the more your needs can more fully resolve. The more you do, the more pushback from those relying on these oversimplifying generalizations. Description Which do you think is more likely? You have to go with generalizations to be decisive in life. OR You will get more out of life the more you replace your generalizations with relevant specifics. Anankelogy The more you feel overwhelmed from multiple sources of stimuli, the more likely your cognitive load finds some way to simplify life. You reduce complicated details into manageable general ideas. You dismiss what seems less relevant to your immediate aims. You generalize. To navigate life’s complexities, you likely adopt widely held views to help you comprehend what you cannot or do not have time to fully understand on your own. You generalize, in both senses of the word. 1) You apply your view as widely as possible; what fits you should universalize equally to others. 2) You evade messy details; you avoid bringing up details that could cost you social support. Until you process all the relevant details of a need, to fully resolve that need, too much generalizing can lead you astray. Your body then warns you this need is not resolving enough to restore your functioning. You experience this warning as some form of physical or emotional pain. To cope with the pain, you may revert back to comforting generalizations. You rely on what anankelogy calls relief-generalizing . That’s when you seek relief from the pain of your unmet needs with comforting generalizations. But relying too much on generalizing typically sidesteps the detail necessary to resolve the underlying need. So the pain inevitably recurs. You then risk slipping into dysfunction , of prioritizing the relief of your mounting pain. You can then afford less and less cognitive space to focus on what is necessary to resolve the need, to remove that pain. You increasingly latch onto beliefs that limit your appreciation of reality. All beliefs include some level of error . The more you cling to generalizing to cope, the less of reality you can faithfully process. Without some return to identifying and addressing the overlooked specifics shaping your needs, you risk slipping into a miserable rabbit hole of mounting despair. Need-response Need-response recognizes how legalistic and biopsychological responses to problems often fall short of addressing problems because they count on imperfect generalizations. You can find yourself pulled into generalizing by institutions built on such imperfect generalizations. The more grounded in a universal principle—like honoring others as your healthiest self would have them honor you—the more reliable the generalization. The more a generalization permits you to skip or ignore relevant facts, the more trouble you are bound to face. Some laws (like constitutional norms) are more grounded in universal principles than others. Most laws are kept intentionally vague to apply to as many situations as possible. And they tend to remain impersonal to avoid favoritism. Biopsychological responses to problems rely heavily on generalizations from the medical model . It tries to reduces detail-rich situations into internally changeable options. The more this model overlooks the socioenvironmental factors to wellness, the more its generalizing can lead you down a path of unwellness in the name of wellness. Need-response equips you to face the specifics of your needs and problems. The more of reality you realize, the less you habitually generalize. Reactive Problem Increasing alienation increases reliance on unreliable generalizations. Faulty assumptions fill in when not knowing other’s specific needs and experiences. Problems arise. Instead of taking a high stand to identify and resolve needs, avoidant adversarialism sets in to indulgently take sides . Problems then feed on themselves. Instead of affirming other’s unchosen needs they cannot change, you provoke their defensiveness. They provoke yours. You morally conflate what they could do to change with the natural needs they cannot change. They dig in their heels. What you reactively resist you reflexively reinforce . You then get more of what you ostensibly oppose, to ensure the conflict remains. You could possibly normalize this tension. You might indulge in the conflict porn of constantly trying to win over others. You play a complicit role in impeding resolution of needs. You come to depend on the familiarity of the tense situation. Responsive Solution Need-response provide the free Personally Responsive tool to melt alienation with deliberate acts of kindness. You replace the habits of avoidance and adversarialism with engagement and mutual understanding and support. To be better understood, you first understand others. To be more affirmed, you first affirm others. To receive appropriate support, you first appropriately support others. The tool helps you break the ice so you can incentivize others to be open to your service to them. You model how they can improve to understand and engage your needs. Along the way, you learn to let go of those fill-in assumptions. You drop your generalizations that no longer serve you. You gather more insight into all the dynamics shaping your life. You face more of reality and become a better person for it. The less you generalize, the more reality you finally realize. Responding to your needs How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these: What counts as a generalization? How can I know when I have discovered enough specifics? I think too much concern about specifics can lead to overthinking some things. It doesn’t help being surrounded by others who constantly overgeneralize. Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below. Engage this principle in our forum Engagement guide Any visitor to the Engagement forum can view all posts. So do keep that in mind when posting. Sign up or sign in to comment on these posts and to create your own posts. Using this platform assumes you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . Remember to keep the following in mind: Quote the principle you are responding to, and its identifier letter & number. Let’s be specific. Demonstrate need-responsiveness in your interactions here. Let’s respect each other. Engage supportive feedback from others on this platform. Let’s grow together. Together, let’s improve our need-responsiveness . Together, let’s spread some love . See other principles in this category - Foundational - Basic - General - Pain - Conflict - Authority - Law - Love - Previous Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link Next

You believe what you need to believe. < Back B06 Basic Principle List of all principles You believe what you need to believe. Image: Pixabay – jplenio (click on meme to see source image) Summary The more a belief proves vital to your existence, the more it rises in your hierarchy of accepted truths. The more your life seems or actually depends on something being so, the more you must naturally defend it. The less relevant to your required means to function, the less you defend it. The less your needs resolve, the more tightly you cling to any belief you perceive helping you get by. Description Which do you think is more likely? You can change at will any of your beliefs at any time. OR You cannot easily change a belief you rely upon to serve your vital needs. Anankelogy Your mind holds true or untrue what it finds useful to serve your needs. The more impact, imagined or real, the more you cling to a belief as an unassailable conviction. The less relevant to your needs, the less you hold onto a belief. If a comet passes by the earth a million miles away, it matters little if you believe it could hit the earth the next time it passes by in the next century. But if headed directly toward us, now your belief of a likely impact matters everything to you. The less information you find about something likely to impact your needs, the more you tend to generalize to fill the gaps. The less your needs resolve, the more drawn to comforting generalizations to help you get by. The more your beliefs rely on comforting generalizations that are easily disconfirmed by specifics, the less reliable your beliefs. Generalizations drift from reality, which hinders you from resolving needs. Specifics enable you relate more accurately with reality, to resolve more needs. The more your beliefs get shaped by what only eases your needs or relieves your pain of unmet needs, the more easily you overlook reality. You become saddled with blind spots or false urgencies to ease the mounting pain. You then rely more on generalizations to avoid specific pain. The more you rely on comforting generalizations, the less your needs can fully resolve. The less your needs resolve, the more emotional or physical pain you will suffer. The more pain you suffer, the more drawn to comforting generalizations for some kind of relief. Rince and repeat. Need-response Need-response shifts attention away from the quality of your thinking to the quality of how well we treat each other. You can be one of the best critical thinkers on the planet, and still clutch for rationalizations when desperately seeking relief from neglected needs. The more responsive to each other’s needs, the less drawn to false beliefs. You believe what you find enables you to resolve more needs. The less responsive to each other’s needs, the more drawn to false beliefs. You believe what you find helps you cope with the pain of your unmet needs. We all cling tightly to beliefs full of errors . The less your needs resolve, the more errant your beliefs. The more your needs resolve, the more your beliefs reflect what is real. Reactive Problem Most of our institutions assume you arrive to your beliefs rationally. Our adversarial institutions of law privilege less responsiveness to each other’s needs. No law requires you to be gracious toward other’s imperfect efforts, or to be empathetic to the poorly understood, or to be patient with those struggling to get it right. These qualities fall outside of the legitimate role for law. Laws prioritize harm reduction over need resolution. It goes against the grain of law to fully resolve needs . After all, our behaviors are not literally governed by our laws but by our needs . The more we vainly count on our impersonal laws to fix our problems, the more we often believe what we must think is true to cope with the pain of our resulting unaddressed needs. As modern society loses traditional sources for cohesion, such as a communal faith or a civic community, we easily put more and more faith in our impersonal legal systems. We call the police. We sue others. We overlook the shortcomings of the adversarial judicial system and limitations of divisive politics to somehow fix our problems. We believe these are important to fix matters because we need them to be important to fix matters. Responsive Solution Need-response seeks to restore interpersonal respect for each other’s needs. To directly relate to each other’s needs instead of relying blindly on laws to compel each other’s respect. To turn from a culture of outrage to a culture of mutual respect. The more need-response can inspire you to believe in the importance of personally expressing your need to others, the more you can believe that laws serve more as a backup system than the plan A we vainly expect them to be. One way we can better identify and address our needs is to agree to apply what anankelogy calls character refunctions . These are ethical standards known throughout history to create better results than mere legalistic norms alone. For example, these five character refunctions can help renew relationships constrained by some wrongdoing. Grace . The more you meet others where they're at, the less you're pulled into conflict. Forgiveness . The more you get past your anger, the less others bring up your faults. Atonement . The more you can restore some loss you caused, the more you melt their bitterness. Mercy . The more you can suffer loss, the more you inspire others to get past their losses. Justice . The more responsive to their needs, the more they can be fairly responsive to your needs. The more you believe what you find actually resolves needs, removes pain and restores wellness, the more you actually resolve needs, remove pain and restore wellness. You need to believe what improves your life, and let go of believing whatever helped you cope with past pain. Responding to your needs How does this principle speak to your experience of needs? Post in our Engagement forum your thoughtful response to one of these: I choose to believe many of my beliefs, even if nothing in my life requires me to think it true. There must be more to what shapes our perception of what is so than simply our needs. Surely there is some agency, some personal responsibility, in how we shape our beliefs. Is this belief that we believe what we need to believe stem from something we need to believe? Instead of selecting one of these, post your own engagement feedback about your experience with the subject of this principle. Remember the aim is to improve our responsiveness to each other’s needs, toward their full resolution. If you’re new at posting here, first check the guide below. Engage this principle in our forum Engagement guide Any visitor to the Engagement forum can view all posts. So do keep that in mind when posting. Sign up or sign in to comment on these posts and to create your own posts. Using this platform assumes you agree to our terms of use and privacy policy . Remember to keep the following in mind: Quote the principle you are responding to, and its identifier letter & number. Let’s be specific. Demonstrate need-responsiveness in your interactions here. Let’s respect each other. Engage supportive feedback from others on this platform. Let’s grow together. Together, let’s improve our need-responsiveness . Together, let’s spread some love . See other principles in this category - Foundational - Basic - General - Pain - Conflict - Authority - Law - Love - Previous Facebook X (Twitter) WhatsApp LinkedIn Pinterest Copy link Next

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Glossary G < back to glossary menu good faith effort (GFE) (n. ) Agreed upon attempts to understand and respect each other's affected needs, grounded in mutual trust from demonstrating trustworthiness using the mutuality process . Part of the need-response process. good faith quality (GFQ) (n. ) degree of trustworthiness as demonstrated by utilization of the mutuality process . Part of the need-response process. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z < back to glossary menu

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Pause The Unexonerated: innocence profile < Back Claimant name Estimated innocence score: 00 % tagline Email Phone Number WELCOME Welcome visitors to your site with a short, engaging introduction. Double click to edit and add your own text. Start Now This is a paragraph. Use this area to add any information you want to share with users. Just click "Edit Text" or double click here to change the text and make it your own. You can also adjust the paragraph's font, size and color so it fits your website’s theme. This is a great place to tell users a story about your website and let them know more about what you offer. You may want to share information about your company's background, your team, or the services you provide. Be sure to keep the tone and voice consistent throughout the site so users become familiar with your brand. Summary Synopsis This is a paragraph. Use this area to add any information you want to share with users. Just click "Edit Text" or double click here to change the text and make it your own. You can also adjust the paragraph's font, size and color so it fits your website’s theme. This is a great place to tell users a story about your website and let them know more about what you offer. You may want to share information about your company's background, your team, or the services you provide. Be sure to keep the tone and voice consistent throughout the site so users become familiar with your brand. About Me. This is your About section. Every website has a story and users want to hear yours. This is a great opportunity to give a full background on who you are and what your site has to offer. Double click on the text box to edit the content and add all the information you want to share. You may like to talk about how you got started and share your professional journey. Explain your core values, your commitment to customers and how you stand out from the crowd. You can also add a photo, gallery or video for even more engagement. Education 2015-2017 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education. 2011-2014 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education. 2007-2010 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education.

Pause The Unexonerated: innocence profile < Back Claimant name Estimated innocence score: 00 % tagline info@mysite.com 123-456-7890 WELCOME Welcome visitors to your site with a short, engaging introduction. Double click to edit and add your own text. Start Now This is a paragraph. Use this area to add any information you want to share with users. Just click "Edit Text" or double click here to change the text and make it your own. You can also adjust the paragraph's font, size and color so it fits your website’s theme. This is a great place to tell users a story about your website and let them know more about what you offer. You may want to share information about your company's background, your team, or the services you provide. Be sure to keep the tone and voice consistent throughout the site so users become familiar with your brand. Summary Synopsis This is a paragraph. Use this area to add any information you want to share with users. Just click "Edit Text" or double click here to change the text and make it your own. You can also adjust the paragraph's font, size and color so it fits your website’s theme. This is a great place to tell users a story about your website and let them know more about what you offer. You may want to share information about your company's background, your team, or the services you provide. Be sure to keep the tone and voice consistent throughout the site so users become familiar with your brand. About Me. This is your About section. Every website has a story and users want to hear yours. This is a great opportunity to give a full background on who you are and what your site has to offer. Double click on the text box to edit the content and add all the information you want to share. You may like to talk about how you got started and share your professional journey. Explain your core values, your commitment to customers and how you stand out from the crowd. You can also add a photo, gallery or video for even more engagement. Education 2015-2017 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education. 2011-2014 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education. 2007-2010 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education.

Pause The Unexonerated: innocence profile < Back Claimant name Estimated innocence score: 00 % tagline info@mysite.com 123-456-7890 WELCOME Welcome visitors to your site with a short, engaging introduction. Double click to edit and add your own text. Start Now This is a paragraph. Use this area to add any information you want to share with users. Just click "Edit Text" or double click here to change the text and make it your own. You can also adjust the paragraph's font, size and color so it fits your website’s theme. This is a great place to tell users a story about your website and let them know more about what you offer. You may want to share information about your company's background, your team, or the services you provide. Be sure to keep the tone and voice consistent throughout the site so users become familiar with your brand. Summary Synopsis This is a paragraph. Use this area to add any information you want to share with users. Just click "Edit Text" or double click here to change the text and make it your own. You can also adjust the paragraph's font, size and color so it fits your website’s theme. This is a great place to tell users a story about your website and let them know more about what you offer. You may want to share information about your company's background, your team, or the services you provide. Be sure to keep the tone and voice consistent throughout the site so users become familiar with your brand. About Me. This is your About section. Every website has a story and users want to hear yours. This is a great opportunity to give a full background on who you are and what your site has to offer. Double click on the text box to edit the content and add all the information you want to share. You may like to talk about how you got started and share your professional journey. Explain your core values, your commitment to customers and how you stand out from the crowd. You can also add a photo, gallery or video for even more engagement. Education 2015-2017 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education. 2011-2014 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education. 2007-2010 Degree University Name Briefly describe your degree and any other highlights about your studies you want to share. Be sure to include relevant skills you gained, accomplishments you achieved or milestones you reached during your education.