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The disappointing failures of the adversarial legal system warrants a more responsive alternative HIGHLIGHTS Adversarial systems react more than respond to our needs for justice and safety. Adversarial justice reveals its transphobia against the defendants and homophobia against the young complainant. Adversarial systems easily trap us in our emotional pain of anxiety and depression. Need-response could be the answer, but gets easily resisted by shortsighted legalists. Join me on this journey from rejected LGBTQ+ children to launching an inspiring new service that embraces everyone with love. Brothers as sisters 00:05 Back in 1993 01:04 Finally meeting each other 01:46 Transphobia on steroids 02:30 Involving law enforcement 03:58 Discovery 05:43 Show trial 07:08 Falsely incarcerated 08:30 Falsely believed 09:56 Falsely listed 11:10 Falsely discriminated 12:09 Falsely denied 13:04 Reality check 14:43 Turnaround 16:39 Lost innocence 19:08 Need-response 20:35 Beyond legalism 21:22 Wellness resistance 24:09 Above the law 25:46 The Need-Response podcast 27:29   Warning: Some details, strong language and sexual content may be upsetting to some.   1. Brothers as sisters What are the odds of growing up with a trans sibling? Of the estimated 1.6% of the population who identify as trans, only 1 to 5%  of them include siblings who are both trans. You can count me in that figure.   One effect of growing up trans with a trans sibling is witnessing firsthand good reason to stay in the closet. After witnessing how my older trans sibling was mistreated, I kept my desire to crossdress a carefully guarded secret. I didn’t even tell her. This was back in the early 1970s, back when few had even heard of the term transgender. Back then, we were still in grade school and there was no Internet to seek answers. I remember how she often got into trouble for trying on our cisgender sister’s clothing.   One day, she got into trouble after I neglected to put back an item belonging to our cisgender sister. I always felt bad about that. A day of reckoning would eventually arrive some two decades later.   2. Back in 1993 I finally came out as transgender in 1993. Among the first to whom I self-disclosed, yep, was to my trans sibling. She self-identified as Janet, the sister I never knew I had.   I sought her forgiveness for that one time she took the blame for what I did, and she granted mercy. We finally connected on a much deeper level.   We also learned that we’re both asexual. Specifically, that I am “ demisexual ” as I do not feel erotically aroused unless I first establish an emotionally deep connection with a woman—as I had with my then wife.   Janet reported how she could not function sexually with the wrong genitalia. Being open about being trans both cost us our marriages.   3. Finally meeting each other Neither of us had yet presented ourselves as trans to the other. That first occurred after we drove to a support event for trans people about an hour away.   We each entered a different bathroom to change into our more feminine selves, then stepped out to first meet each other’s trans side. Janet summed up the experience by quipping, "Well, this really changes the family structure a bit."   We felt empowered like never before while mingling with other trans like ourselves at this event. A group of young males stumbled upon us. The alpha male of the group boasts, “If I caught my little brother dressed up like that, I’d beat his ass.” To which Janet replied while pointing to me, “That’s my little brother right over there.”   4. Transphobia on steroids Janet soon moved in with me. She quickly drew the unwanted attention of young neighbor girl. She gawked at Janet through our apartment’s front window, like a peeping tom. Janet was clearly male-bodied underneath her feminine veneer.   Janet tried placating this girl’s curiosity. Using poor judgment, she invited her into the apartment while I slept in the back bedroom. I awoke to the sound of an unfamiliar voice, then stepped out to see a young girl I had never met. They both ignored my presence.   The girl later got into trouble with her mom for not being home on time. She explained she was in someone’s apartment. Her mother angrily demanded, “What were you doing in a stranger’s apartment?” She claimed Janet had grabbed and dragged her into the apartment.   Then in anger, she demands that Janet come out and explain herself. “What were you doing f**king with my daughter!?” Janet steps out onto the balcony, then gets down on one knee to demonstrate how she's no threat.   “I don’t know, I don’t know,” Janet attempts to ease the tension. “Let me explain.” But then I hear someone running down the balcony, just as Janet jumps back inside the apartment. I see an irate man wielding a crowbar, swinging it at Janet and barely missing her.   I abruptly close and lock the door. As this man I never met before beats on our door with his crowbar, the angry woman keeps yelling, “Somebody call the police! Someone call the police!”   5. Involving law enforcement I turned to Janet and say, “If she doesn’t call the police, I will.” Janet nods, and so I call 911. This was at 5:43 p.m. on July 7, 1993. I wrote it down.   Minutes later, officers arrive to try to sort out the commotion. One of them orders the man to drop the crowbar, which he does. After claiming her daughter was molested by a couple of f@gs.   The police asked Janet what had happened, and she asserted her right to remain silent. When asking me, I told them I had just woken up and hadn’t observed anything like this man claims.   The officer asks us to wait in the back of his squad car. While sitting there, Janet knows she is likely going to be taken to jail. She instructs me to find a folder on her shelf that could help her explain her transgender identity to any inquiring authorities. Other officers arrive on the scene. One of them interviews the girl, with the girl’s mother clearly influencing what the young girl says. After about twenty minutes, I learn I am now a suspect along with Janet for whatever the girl claims to have happened. No one will tell us.   The officer then takes us both to the county jail. He tells us we’re both being charged with C.S.C. I had to ask him what that means, and he replies that it means criminal sexual conduct. I asked what did the girl that claim we did to her. To which the officer replies, “I think you already know.” But I honestly had no clue.   We’re fingerprinted and processed at the local jail. Then put into a holding tank with other men. I quickly detransition, and revert to presenting as only male for my safety. Later, we’re sent to separate four-man cells in another part of the jail, to await our fate.   6. Discovery While sitting in jail, we finally discover the details of the accusation. We learn the young girl claimed how we she was grabbed by a “man with lipstick” and dragged to the apartment. She claims she was knocked unconscious for a moment, and then subjected to bizarre sexual abuse.   As an acer—someone who is asexual—I was completely naïve and uninterested in what others in the jail called ‘69’. But that’s what this girl accused Janet did to her. Or what she was guided to say was done to her. Her testimony also has Janet taking a Polaroid instant photo of her with me. She describes how we forced her to hold a butter knife with jelly as if stabbing my chest, and that we would use it against her if she ever told the police. So I was charged with aiding and abetting whatever they claimed Janet had done.   No Polaroid camera existed in our apartment. No instant photo. No jelly. No corroborating evidence. They claimed to have found semen on a green blanket, but neither of us owned a green blanket. I don't recall any green blanket ever being presented in court. The complainant declined to be medically examined by a doctor with a rape kit. The doctor observed how the complainant seemed unusually composed for someone who claims to have been assaulted. And he debunked the claim that she was knocked unconscious. He found no signs of the alleged assault.   7. Show trial I thought this lack of evidence would help acquit us. At the start of the trial, my court appointed lawyer disabused me. She showed me in a law book how the law permits a conviction based solely on testimony , no matter how inconsistent . Add in the widespread prejudices against trans people at that time, our fates were sealed.   Janet and I had a joint trial, but separate juries. This led to an incident where evidence ostensibly against Janet was leaked to my jury. “Harmless error” is the usually given excuse. In other words, let the damage be done because it’s not going to change the expected outcome.   I quickly observe how the adversarial process not only lacks scientific discipline, but openly defies such accountability. Indeed, if a DA could get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich , then it must be easy to use the adversarial process to project their sexual anxieties on those who actually lack such erotic feelings. Confirmation bias gets encouraged. Tunnel vision runs the show. Truth runs cheap.   This miscarriage of justice wrapped up in a week. My jury couldn’t agree on the theory of guilt, but agreed that I must be guilty of something. By late December of 1993, we were both found guilty. Exactly of what, well, I was never told. Sent back to jail, we awaited sentencing in early 1994.   8. Falsely incarcerated Janet was sentenced 50 years for a crime that never occurred. I was sentenced to 30 years. They ship us off to spend countless years with violent men eager to exploit the likes of us. I once again kept my transgender side a carefully guarded secret, just to survive. Being smeared as a pedophile puts me at the bottom of the prison pecking order. Imagine the abuse of also labeled a queer or “bitch”. Perhaps it’s more acceptable now, but definitely not back then.   I already faced repeated harassment for asserting my innocence in prison. Other prisoners would shout back, “You think you’re better than me?” I continually had to navigate their hyper-defensiveness. Few prisoners consistently maintain their innocence as I did. Despite what you may see in the movies like Shawshank Redemption , most prisoners eventually own up to their harmful deeds. They may complain about the harsh sentencing. But they rarely, like me, insist on total innocence.   Much of this prejudice likely stems from media coverage of perp walks. Being arrested and losing one’s freedom naturally sparks the grieving process. Early on, they understandably deny they did anything wrong. They express anger at the “system”. Their attorney encourages them to deny the most serious charges, to position themselves for a plea bargain. Over time, prisoners typically accept being convicted, often by plea deal.   9. Falsely believed Once sentenced and serving time in prison, all that drama is gone. So are the media’s cameras. Only about 15% of prisoners claim to be wrongly convicted . And a portion of them provide a compelling claim of being fully innocent. Like me, where no crime actually occurred. There is no reason or scientific explanation to account for maintaining innocence in the face of repeated parole denials, other than understanding the integrity of the falsely incarcerated innocent.   There is no psychiatric disorder to explain why a prisoner would continually risk being denigrated by other prisoners while also repeatedly pass up opportunity to get out of prison early. Pure and simple, it is a legally privileged prejudice. On the other hand, there is growing awareness of a problem with prosecutors who hold the power to repeatedly resist review of compelling innocence claims. It's called " innocence denial ". Boasting of their high conviction rates holds more political currency than accountably delivering just results for the politically less advantaged. Such distorting incentives of prosecutors with minimal accountability for their actions persist as a black mark on the adversarial judicial system. Instead of blindly trusting law enforcement to secure our communities, their abuses of discretion can actually threaten the security of our communities in less visible ways.   10. Falsely listed In late 2005, I was finally discharged. Since I maintained my innocence, I was never eligible for parole. The parole board claimed I lacked remorse, which projected their lack of remorse for their participation in carrying on this miscarriage of justice.   I was finally free, but not fully free. Shortly after starting the prison term, a new law was passed: The national sex offender registry. Because of the young age of the complainant, my name is now kept on this registry for life. Yes, the national sex offender registry includes an asexual person.   Thus far, I’ve only been sexually intimate with my former wife. Nothing prior since knowing her. Nothing since we went our different ways. No felonies or misdemeanors prior to this wrongful conviction. None afterwards.   I don’t drink any alcohol. Don’t gamble. Don’t have any diagnosable mental health issues. I have no addictions. And yet I am stuck on the national sex offender registry.   11. Falsely discriminated against Being falsely listed on the sex offender registry makes it impossible to find housing and a decent job. I still cannot find adequate housing or meaningful employment.   Fortunately, I was accepted to enroll at a state university. I earned my undergrad degree in sociology and anthropology. Then went on to earn my master’s degree in public administration. I returned for a second masters degree, this time in counseling.   Being falsely listed on the sex offender registry cost me that degree. I can share more about that elsewhere .   At least I was still alive. In late 2001, Janet was diagnosed with lung cancer that metastasized to her brain. She finally left prison by leaving her corpse behind. The prison repeatedly denied her attempts to medically address her gender dysphoria. So she finally left the prison of her male body that she felt was terribly wrong for her.   12. Falsely denied Right before she died, I wrote to her to say my last goodbyes. And to pledge to keep on fighting for the justice denied us. A couple hours after the prison doctor read to her my letter, she finally passed away.   After exhausting my state remedies to overturn this injustice, I reached out to the Innocence Project. Each attempt gets shot down.   My first attempt was rejected because they said they had to first help those on death row. Okay, that’s understandable. Strike one.   A couple years later, I tried again. This time they said they had to first help those with life sentences. Okay. Strike two.   In my third attempt just before being discharged, they told me they had to first serve innocence claimants still facing many years. The registry would continue to limit my rights. Strike three.   I tried again in 2014, to get off the registry. This time they told me how they must first help those still in prison. Strike four.   More recently, in 2020, my request was once again rejected. This time because they couldn’t see a path toward reversing the conviction in court under current circumstance. Strike five.   This year, I will try once more. This time, to test the process. This time, to offer a viable alternative  that transcends the limiting adversarial process. That alternative compares the details of my case with those already exonerated. Then provides an estimate of the viability of my innocence claim.   Moreover, it transcends the oversimplifying binary of guilt-or-innocence with a viability score. It challenges the adversarial system to rethink its untested assumptions.   13. Reality check Innocence projects routinely deny helping the vast number of innocence claimants. They tend to favor cases with a plainly wrongful conviction more easily reversed in court. They generally lack the resources to effectively process all viable innocence claims.   Let’s do the math. A conservative estimate finds 4 to 6% of all prisoners to be innocent of the crime. Not just wrongly convicted, but had no role in the crime at all. Or the action is no longer illegal, such as possession of a small amount of marijuana. Of the 2 million incarcerated in the U.S., that comes to 80,000 to 120,000 human beings. After including those on parole or discharged, that number soars.   Less than 4,000 have been exonerated by the same adversarial process routinely repeating this error. That’s a drop in the bucket in the sheer volume of miscarriages of justice. Cases kicked up to the U.S. Supreme Court have some top justices questioning if innocence can be grounds for dismissal.   As Samuel Gross, the editor of the National Registry of Exonerations , put it in a Washington Post op ed , “We know without doubt that the vast majority of innocent defendants who are [wrongly] convicted of crimes are never  identified and cleared.”   The adversarial legal system blinds itself to its own destructive behaviors. While ostensibly intending to do good, it continues to do evil under color of law . In this current crisis, to paraphrase Ronald Reagan, the adversarial judicial system is not the solution to our problems; the adversarial judicial system is  the problem. If there was anyone equipped to envision a viable alternative to this debilitating process, perhaps that person is me. I do not seek the role. But who else will step up to inspire us with a more responsive alternative? Who else can transcend the traps of such destructive legalism?   14. Turnaround While in prison, I explored the spiritual depths compelling me to transcend gender norms. By 2002, I realized I was less transgender and more transspirit . Being a transspirit  means that I am spiritually compelled to transcend divisive norms in order to resolve needs. It’s not about gender identity but connecting deeper with life’s full potential, by transcending limiting divides like gender norms.   Consider the three main stages of moral reasoning put forth by Lawrence Kohlberg. Transspirituality grounds me in the more developed stage of post-conventional moral reasoning. I intuitively relate to the inflexible needs  of all. Spirituality compels me to properly resolve needs over catering to rules. But I face a backlash from norm enforcers who are at a pre-conventional or  conventional level of moral reasoning. That may include other trans people. Such norm-enforcers easily mistake need-responsive transcendence of norms as unacceptable violations of established rules. After all, most of us prefer our familiar pain of partially met needs from applied rules over the unknown pain of fully resolving those needs despite comforting norms.   The essence of my life cuts against the grain of the many debilitating norms ailing society. I learn to endure life’s natural pain, where norms have us repressing such pain. I learn to engage others to relate to their needs, where norms have us pitted needlessly against each other. I learn to sort through the nuance of life, where norms have us find comfort in low hanging fruit generalities.   Those most dependent on such divisive norms—like the adversarial legal system—tend to push back. They perhaps sense they risk losing the most from my need-resolving purpose in life. I can understand clinging to familiar coping methods over risking unknown solutions. But I am spiritually compelled to resolve needs, in ways the adversarial legal system fails to address. Even at risk of being persecuted by the adversarial system for defying gender or other divisive norms they try to enforce in vain. Much like Gandhi and Dr. King, I cannot submit to violent laws.   I am spiritually compelled to transcend adversarial categories—which needlessly provokes mutual defensiveness—to address each side’s affected needs. I am spiritually compelled to relate to the underserved needs of both accused and accuser. That includes my accuser.   15. Lost innocence When filling out the innocence claim form in 2014, I learned the young complainant is now an adult woman attracted to other women. That makes sense. I learned during the trial how her older female cousin dabbled in sexually intimate contact with her. The jury was not allowed to know this. She likely saw something of herself in Janet. She possibly wished to be as openly different as Janet. She perhaps yearned to be accepted for her own deviation from gender and sexuality norms.   She was not finding that level of acceptance at home. She could not risk being outed as a lesbian. Not at such a tender age. She had to protect herself somehow, even if resorting to lies about Janet’s actions.   All the adults around her eagerly stretched out this narrative. The big, bad “man with lipstick” would be the fall guy. “Believe the child,” they said, while manipulatively coaching the child to say what they wanted to hear.   This wrongful conviction reeks not only of transphobia, but also homophobia. Instead of helping this young lesbian find acceptance, they reinforced her family’s rejection of her honest self.   Janet and I would gladly affirm her sexual orientation, but instead were served up as scapegoats for these adults’ rejection of this vulnerable child. Both accuser and accused remain trapped in the transphobia and homophobia of that time.   16. Need-response Who watches the watchers of the failed corners of our criminal justice system? Who warns the blind leading the blind down the rabbit hole of perpetuated injustice?   Who can alert background checkers to cease perpetuating the injustice of wrongly convicted innocents? Who can warn landlords and employers who mistakenly rely on tainted background checks, which can make them complicit in this wrongdoing?   Who or what can help save us from ourselves? Taking inspiration from Isaiah 6:8, I can eagerly answer, “Why not me?”   All these challenging experiences, and the spiritual gift of wisdom mysteriously bestowed to me, uniquely positions me to provide a viable solution: need-response . Need-response prioritize resolving each other’s needs to improve wellness outcomes.   17. Beyond legalism Need-response illuminates the problem of “ toxic legalism ” apparent in this wrongful conviction. Need-response prioritizes inflexible needs over flexible laws. While no one sits above the law, no law sits above the needs it exists to serve . Legalism prioritizes flexible laws over inflexible needs, in at least five damaging ways.   1. Prematurely adversarial . Law enforcement may assume a crime occurred based on their adversarial prejudices, and then imposes the divisive categories of complainant and defendant in ways that can prevent a meaningful resolution. Need-response counters by identifying the likely unmet needs fueling a conflict, then exhausts all mutuality options before resorting to adversarial options.   2. Privileged avoidance . Law enforcement never asked either defendant about being asexual or asked complainant about risking family rejection for being gay, but instead relied on their confirmation biases to keep coldly distant. Need-response counters by proactively engaging each one’s affected needs, for which laws ostensibly serve.   3. Overgeneralizing . There was no effective effort to be sure trans people were not mischaracterized as child recruiting predators, while the prosecutor benefitted from having a jury who holds such overgeneralizing views. Need-response counters by exploring every relevant specific affecting each other’s needs.   4. Hyperrational . Insisting the jury must “believe the child” without admitting how the child may have been coached to give such bizarre details about such adult sexual content. Need-response counters by incentivizing all sides to safely express their emotionally charged needs, without having to immediately explain such needs in rational or legal terms.   5. Hyper-individual . Failing to recognize how the collective of law enforcement can make egregious mistakes. Need-response recognizes how it’s now easier for accused individuals to admit to their mistakes than for power-privileged police and prosecutors to admit to theirs.   Legalists perhaps balk at this, who insist I must obey every authority, no matter how errant it may be. I simply cannot. I am spiritually compelled to resolve needs above serving laws. I am compelled to honor the needs of others as my own, as a social kind of love. It affords no space to comfort those who hopelessly cling to falsehoods. If I was guilty of this crime, I am of the character to own up to it. But the available evidence points overwhelmingly to my innocence, and to the legal system’s failures. I put the onus on others to demonstrate otherwise. Or they risk being publicly identified as complicit in this wrongful conviction, and the fallout it brings to the world.   18. Wellness resistance The adversarial legal system, as it currently exists, too easily hinders resolving needs. The more it coerces compliance to demanding authorities, the greater the risk for rising rates of anxiety and depression. Once adjudicated, both accuser and accused and both plaintiff and defendant get forced into a win-lose binary. Winning only offers some relief from the pain, and rarely any support to resolve the affected needs causing the pain.   Ultimately, the adversarial legal process risks compromising the wellness of all those it objectifies. Instead of attenuating rising rates of anxiety, depression, addiction and other societal maladies, the impersonal legal process tends to perpetuate the problems it cannot solve.   By directly addressing needs, need-response potentially can reduce or even remove the pain of depression. Instead of seeking a win-lose outcome, it offers a more disciplined process for the win-win outcome of resolving each other’s affected needs. Only resolved needs can improve our wellness. Not those who “win” an argument in court. Or those settling on pain relief.   Depression naturally exists to redirect your bodily energies. It denies you the strength to keep on appeasing others. It insists you attend to neglected parts of your inner self, even at the risk of appearing selfish.   Your wellness demands this reprioritization. There is no such thing as pain  like depression apart from unresolved needs. Need-response prioritizes resolving the needs for which laws and authority ostensibly exist to serve. 19. Above the law Any callous imposition of authority tends to preserve the familiar status quo of defensive-provoking adversarialism, of alienating avoidance, and debilitating overgeneralizing. These easily violate the higher calling of love to honor the needs of others as one’s own. These all risk trapping us in painful depression and other maladies. Love sits above the law. Because love fulfills the purpose of law. The more internally motivated and enabled to honor the needs of others as your own, the less cause to externally motivate by pressures from impersonal authority. After all, you don't exist for human authority.   Human authority exists for you . Individual law enforcers typically mean well. But the legalistic system they serve generally resists wellness. While trying to protect society from dangerous sexual predators, it continues to oppress the very person endowed to help society to not only stop sexual violence at its core, but prevents that person from improving all of our lives. Realizing I am more transspirit than transgender, I no longer present my feminine side in public. Since it's not about gender identity for me, I've been fortunate to remain free of depression. The wisdom about needs that being a transspirit affords me I now wish to pass along to you with this new service, starting for free.   I seek to resolve your needs, to remove your pain from unmet needs, like any anxiety or depression you may suffer. Norm enforcers habitually resist my efforts. Some benefit from trapping you in pain. Some remain in positions of authority, with the means to prevent me from developing this new service that could serve you.   20. The Need-Response podcast Against mounting odds, I struggle to create this new service of need-response. I’m introducing this visionary new service to you and to the world in a podcast by the same name. Increasingly, I need this service to allow me to create this service—an annoying catch-22.   You can help create it. You’re invited to help build it, to shape it to serve your overlooked needs, and to get this much needed service off the ground. Through this podcast, I share with you how need-response offers a viable alternative to the built-in limits of the adversarial legal system. I can share with you the Estimated Innocence Form that calculates the viability of an innocence claim, by comparing it to already exonerated cases.   We’ll also apply empathy and love to melt political polarization . Yes, we’ll unpack our political differences  in an inspiring way. And much more.  Each Wednesday, starting April 30th of 2025, the Need-Response podcast showcases what this new service can do for you. And for countless like you. The trailer  is already available on Spotify.   If you need a service that equips you to speak your truth to power, then find out more at anankelogyfoundation.org . Together, we make it happen. Together, we’ll see if the odds for success can be greater than the odds of growing up with a trans sibling. back to the top ADDENDUM Need-response addresses the problem of overlooked wrongful convictions in two phases. The first attempts to improve innocence claim forms used by innocence projects. The second moves beyond the adversarial legal process itself to address the affected needs on all sides. 1) Estimated Innocence This first step offers an estimated score of likely innocence, by comparing the innocence claim to those cases already exonerated. Since its creation, academic Carrie Leonetti , of the University of Auckland School of Law, has published a similar innocence checklist . The innocence claimant downloads an Estimated Innocence Form . After filling it out with the details of the case, they see it will automatically produce an Estimated Innocence Report with a score of viable innocence, and a quick summary of the compelling nature of the claim. You can find this form for innocence claimants right here. This form is also offered to innocence litigators here. You can find this form filled out by the author right here. Estimated innocence of Steph Turner when compared to already exonerated cases: 92% chance of likely innocence. Synopsis Asexual person comes out as trans in early 90s. Is spiritually compelled to transcend polarizing differences to resolve needs. Nonconformity results in being falsely accused as a “sexual predator” homophobic stereotype. Convicted without evidence. Must register as sex offender for life. Forced into poverty and homelessness. Rejected cornerstone. Highlights No other criminal history Consistently maintained innocence, took no plea deals Transphobic investigation and prosecution Convicted without corroborating evidence Climate of sex abuse hysteria Media sensationalized coverage Exculpatory evidence overlooked with untested DNA Spiritual compulsion to resolve needs at odds with judicial system Tagline Asexual "transspirit" registered for life as a sex offender But what if the innocence claimant, with a high viability score, still cannot get their wrongful conviction reversed in a court of law? Need-response then asserts the higher authority of properly resolved needs. 2) Responsive Innocence Need-response goes beyond asserting innocence by addressing all the affected needs on each side of a conflict. Need-response incentivizes the innocence claimant to transcend the imposing limits of the adversarial approach to respond directly to each others' needs. Only need-response links the purpose of any law to accountably measure the actual outcomes of its application and enforcement. Mutual respect resolves more needs than mutual defensiveness . This provides innocence claimants underserved by the legal process to then challenge the limits of the adversarial approach. This offers a mutuality alternative much more responsive to each side's needs. Laws themselves to not resolve needs; we do . You can find the empty form here. You can find this form filled out by the author right here. You can get to the meat of this responsive alternative by reading the responses to these three key items. 1. Empathize with what the complainant actually needed at the time "I sense she presented a personal struggle with her own emerging sexuality as same-sex attracted. She later came out as lesbian. She appears to be drawn to my transgender sister as someone openly being herself in a way she likely wish she could be. Or at least drawn to explore what this could all mean for her, at a time when LGBTQ+ people were largely marginalized by mainstream society and not readily accepted at home. When caught not at home when confronted by her mother, she could not say that she willingly interacted with such a "deviant" in the neighborhood."   2. Identify your own affected needs from the incident. "My dominant need at the time was to come out as transgender without being smeared with popular transphobic or homophobic tropes, such as the widespread belief that we're more inclined to pedophilia than cisgender and straight males. To not be falsely accused of sexual misconduct but instead be accepted as an asexual (demisexual) person. Once accused, to have the preponderance of evidence favoring my innocence to show that I am not guilty of what I am not capable of doing. Once wrongly convicted, to be exonerated. Once sentenced to lifetime sex offender registration, to be removed from that listing with prejudice. Ultimately, to have legal recourse in a system less adversarial and based more on mutually addressing the affected needs on all sides to a conflict."   3. How would you address complainant’s apparent needs if you had the chance? "If the law would allow it, I would affirm her same-sex attraction. And tell her that I do not personally hold any animosity toward her. I hold no grudge against her for falsely accusing me of things I am not capable of doing. I understand her need at the time to not be out to her mother or to her homophobic-presenting stepfather. I understand her motive to accuse my sibling and then me to avoid getting into trouble by her irate mother, when her mother demanded to know why she was not at home when her mother came home from work. I understand how she was incentivized by the homophobia of the time, that prompted her to shift the spotlight onto us and to then see how the adults would react to other LGBTQ+ people like herself. I appreciate how the reaction toward us would keep her in the proverbial closet for a long time."

My pioneering efforts to end depression continue to be resisted by authorities HIGHLIGHTS Injustice sparks further injustice What could alleviate depression is being hindered You can engage me at the Need-Response podcast   Almost a counselor Long shadow of transphobia An injustice repeating injustice Again, I must pay for the mistakes of others Overdue justice Visionary alternative to troubling legalism Recasting this challenge into opportunity Inviting you to personally engage me Almost a counselor I’m not a counselor, but I almost became one. A decade ago, I was trained to be one. I earned my master's in counseling in 2015, at Oakland University in Michigan.   Getting through the program as the only openly trans person proved a challenge. While most of my classmates and teachers proved supportive, I still met some detractors.   After completing all classwork, I interned at the local LGBTQ+ community center . Getting placed there was no easy matter. I first had to get permission from the school’s lawyer.   Long shadow of transphobia Unlike my counseling classmates, I entered the program as a wrongly convicted innocent person . When I first came out as trans in 1993, I was falsely accused and wrongly convicted by a jury who believed the popular trope of LGBTQ+ people as child recruiting predators .   No evidence supports the conviction. The accuser’s testimony seemed obviously coached. And I had no other felony or misdemeanor convictions, all which weigh in my favor of asserted innocence.   There are far more viable claims of innocenc e than the courts, or even the innocence projects , can effectively process. So I make the best of what I can with this monkey on my back. An injustice repeating injustice The school’s attorney held up placement for my internship. I was able to secure the standard malpractice insurance without much of a hitch. But the lawyer delayed approval.   Thankfully, the school’s provost supported me. She understood how easy it can be for a trans person to be wrongly convicted. And end up falsely on the national sex offender registry , despite the fact that I am asexual.   As I waited, I continued enrolling in extra classes. As a wrongly convicted trans person, getting a job and housing proved elusive. I enrolled in college and lived on campus year-round just to survive. A fast-food job is all that I could find.   Again, I must pay for the mistakes of others By the time the school’s attorney released me to intern at the local LGBTQ+ center, I had overextended by enrollment. Instantly, I was ineligible for tuition coverage.   While legally discriminated against by employers because of the wrongful conviction, I had no way to pay the added tuition. The fast-food job I found barely covered my rent. The wrongful conviction also cost me getting the degree I earned.   I couldn’t even find a place to live. I had to stay with my adult daughter for a while. She needed me to vacate to make room for her kids. So I ended up homeless for a year. I finally found somewhere to stay on the rough side of town, a rundown shack crawling with bugs. Overdue justice Last month, a decade later, the state of Michigan sends a collection letter to my daughter’s address. They want that money now. All $3,659.16 of it. And they’re threatening to garnish my meager wages if I don’t cough up this full amount somehow. I definitely do not have that much money on hand. The injustice I suffered in 1993 finds way to replicate itself. I now must pay for that lawyer’s delay back in 2015. No recourse to this action was offered. At least none that I’m aware of. Besides, the adversarial legal process tends to favor those with more clout. It casts itself as the sole or even best means for justice. Even as it quietly squashes the vulnerable to being able to fully resolve their needs.   Visionary alternative to troubling legalism The timing disturbs me. I’m about to launch a podcast introducing an alternative to such adversarial legalistic pressures. Called the Need-Response podcast , it links wellness to being able to fully function without imposing pressures from powerful others. Then this occurs.   I am on the verge to end the plight of depression and other maladies by resolving stubborn needs, then this pops up in my way. I should be working on preparing the podcast, I tell myself. So much more to do, and now I must set aside precious time to deal with this?!   Or perhaps it’s an opportunity disguised as a challenge, that allows me to demonstrate the amazing potential of need-response. Perhaps the Service Collection Bureau in Lansing will receive the honor of being the first to benefit from this alternative to failing adversarialism. Recasting this challenge into opportunity Thank you, SCB in Lansing, for this opportunity to demonstrate this preferable alternative. Thank you, ahead of time, for this opportunity to incentivize you to be open to this more effective option to resolve such needs.   Thank you for this opportunity to replace failed hyper-individualism that excessively blames politically powerless individuals, like me, with greater appreciation for how wellness is psychosocial . I have little to no influence over how others mistreat me, like that school lawyer perpetuating the injustice of a wrongful conviction. Thank you for this opportunity to illuminate the psychosocial complexities of common problems dragging us all down.   Thank you for this opportunity to replace the hyperrationality evident in their blind faith in the adversarial process, both here and in the wrongful conviction, with greater awareness of our emotionally affected needs. Thank you for this opportunity to affirm your messy needs that defy rational explanations   Thank you for this opportunity to replace habits of overgeneralizing about what we think we know, since no one in this process appreciates the specifics of how that school lawyer delayed my internship placement, with relevant specifics too easily overlooked in the adversarial process. Thank you ahead of time to recognize these details that occurred beyond my control.   Thank you for this opportunity to replace the norms of impersonal alienation  that permits lawyers to avoid the discomfort of getting to know my tragic situation, such as avoiding the painful facts of how the adversarial system mistakenly put an asexual trans person, with no history of violence, on the national sex offender registry. Thank you ahead of time for finally engaging who I really am.   Thank you for this opportunity to replace hostile adversarialism that needlessly provokes each other’s defensiveness, which vainly expects me to internalize the defendant role that I continually defy, with the mutuality to relate to each other’s affected needs. Thank you ahead of time for recognizing and respecting my affected needs as I strive to recognize and respect your affected needs.   Inviting you to personally engage me You can follow the develops of how this unfolds in our upcoming podcast: the Need-Response podcast . Each Wednesday starting in April 2025, we share this vision for a much-needed service that breaks out of the debilitating mold of adversarialism.   If I’m unable to prevail and the state pushes me further into the abyss of poverty, I do not know now if this could prevent me from continuing the podcast. I am open to anyone’s financial help to help ensure the podcast and the need-response service has a chance to succeed. To be blunt, I see little hope for us if we do not let go of our collective addiction to adversarial legalism . I brace for slipping further into collective despair without a service like this equipping us to speak truth to power in ways that incentivize the powerful to listen.   Help keep this vision alive. Donate whatever you can to support this visionary alternative. Go to AnankelogyFoundation.org and invest in your own future by helping to improve the chances for this service to become a living reality.  Thank you. Thank yourself for keeping hope alive to spread more love.

When legal services and psychotherapy can't help solve your problem, consider the new service of ' need-response '. Need-response aims to solve problems by resolving needs. Need-response is a new professional service for identifying and resolving needs. It solves problems by resolving needs. PROBLEM You can’t solve problems with the legal process that’s hopelessly adversarial. It needlessly provokes each other into unproductive defensiveness. Or with psychotherapy that’s hopelessly individualistic. It needlessly overlooks social and environmental factors shaping your wellbeing. SOLUTION Only need-response appreciates your needs as objective facts . Only need-response mutually respects each other’s factual needs. Only need-response holds us all accountable, including the powerful, to the higher standard of love . CTAs Learn more about need-response at AnankelogyFoundation.org . Follow the Need-Response podcast to get a foothold in this upcoming service. Let’s all get back to the amazing power of love! What is need-response to you? Learn more about this new service of need-response by listening to the Need-Response podcast . Episodes each Wednesday, starting 30 April 2025. click this image to go to our podcast page

Are you a disillusioned psychotherapist? Do you long for a different career? Become a need-responder . Instead of trying to help the individual adjust, you incentivize others to adjust to your client’s vulnerable needs.   Get in on the ground floor and help co-create this amazing alternative to legal services. Help us all resolve more needs to help us improve our overall wellness. Pixabay image: Click image to see the original. Which do you prefer? Remain working in a profession you find dissatisfying, hoping somehow things will get better. OR Join efforts to co-create a fresh alternative for accountably responding to your needs. When prompting ChatGPT  for the “top reasons counselors can be disillusioned with offering psychotherapy,” it offered these 18 pain points. See how the new professional service of need-response answers each one. Click on the listed item to go there instantly. Return to this list by clicking on any header below in green text. 01.  Emotional Burnout 02.  High Emotional Demands 03.  Unrealistic Client Expectations 04.  Limited Client Progress 05.  Boundary Challenges 06.  Financial Pressures 07.  Systemic Issues 08.  Stigma Around Mental Health 09.  Isolation 10.  Ethical Dilemmas 11.  Pressure to Meet Metrics 12.  Secondary Trauma 13.  Lack of Personal Growth 14.  Difficult Client Dynamics 15.  Societal and Cultural Challenges 16.  Low Prestige and Recognition 17.  Ethical and Professional Risks 18.  Balancing Personal and Professional Lives   After each of these items below, see how need-response  can be far, far better. Click the right arrow to expand the text. After each point below, see how need-response  can be far, far better. This is where you can join the effort. You are welcomed to respond to this vision, add to it, critique it, and help shape this alternative. Join us in resolving more needs to improve our overall wellness, which the law itself can never do.   According to ChatGPT, “ Counselors and psychotherapists can become disillusioned with their profession for various reasons. Here are some common factors .” 01  Emotional Burnout “Constantly hearing and processing clients' traumas, struggles, and pain can be emotionally exhausting, leading to compassion fatigue or burnout.” Need-response improves our capacity to tolerate life’s discomforts. As a professional need-responder, your focus is more on the power relations affecting the client. Instead of trying to help the individual adjust, you equip and support the individual to adjust the terms of their relationship with those in positions of social influence. You equip your client to improve their tolerance for discomfort, for emotional pain, for processing more trauma, to remove cause for pain. You share this emotional load with the client’s support team. 02  High Emotional Demands “Therapists often carry the emotional weight of their clients' issues, which can take a toll on their mental well-being.” Need-response links your evoked emotions to your affected needs. As a professional need-responder, you help your client connect each of their emotions to a specific affected need. You do the same with the client’s onboarded support team members. You then distinguish between what they can do themselves to resolve such needs, and what they cannot do. Instead of bearing this emotional weight yourself, you equip them to address the source of each need prompting each emotion. 03  Unrealistic Client Expectations “Clients may expect immediate results or see therapy as a ‘quick fix,’ which can lead to frustration when progress is slow or challenges persist.” Need-response equips clients to manage their own expectations. As a professional need-responder, you equip your client to stretch their capacity to endure discomfort. This should deflate their urgency for quick results. You give them the tools to fix their own problems. You guide them to appreciate the time required to incentivize others to be more responsive to needs. You direct the flow of the process. You provide them alternatives for when others in power resist the necessary responsiveness. By improving your client’s capacities to meet such challenges, you raise the client’s expectations of themselves. 04  Limited Client Progress “Therapists may feel ineffective or disheartened when clients don’t make progress, resist change, or relapse into harmful behaviors.” Need-responders enables greater improvements by addressing externalities. As a professional need-responder, you only onboard clients demonstrating sufficient capacity to follow this disciplined process. In most cases, the client screens themselves using our online self-assessment form. You then help your client identify if any resistance to change indicates a necessity for some externality to change. Wellness is psychosocial , so resistance to change could emerge naturally as they intuitively expect others to adjust as much as they are adjusting for them. This sheds light on relapses into harmful behaviors. It likely indicates excessive emotional pain from their still unresolved needs. You’re incentivized to help improve their wellness outcomes by enabling them to address each unmet need causing them unbearable pain.   05  Boundary Challenges “Managing professional boundaries can be difficult, especially with clients who become overly dependent, cross boundaries, or misinterpret the therapeutic relationship.” Need-response risks less crossing of personal boundaries. As a professional need-responder, you begin with a hands-on approach. But then gradually delegate more and more of the process to your client’s support team. You can monitor if boundaries get crossed between team members. You yourself can shift more of your focus to addressing powerful impactors. You model to your client and team members how best to maintain professional boundaries. While friendly toward each other, this is not a group of friends who can take each other for granted. Success depends on maintaining a professional décor. 06  Financial Pressures “Many therapists face challenges with inconsistent income, low reimbursement rates from insurance, or the financial strain of running a private practice.” Need-response provides you with a steadier flow of income. As a professional need-responder, you receive financial support from the Anankelogy Foundation for basic income. As you grow your responsive capacities, you expand your marketability as others demand your unique services. You don’t appeal to insurance panels for revenue. Or lower your hourly rate to fit the strained budgets of your singular clients. Instead of a private healthcare cost, you are providing a wellness investment that others can get behind. You encourage your client to speak truth to power with a crowdfunding campaign. Your client attracts investment in their wellness cause, which helps others as much if not more than themselves. The more support they attract, the greater your revenue share. 07  Systemic Issues “Working within larger systems (e.g., healthcare, education, or social services) can be frustrating due to bureaucracy, limited resources, or systemic failures that hinder client care.” Need-responders challenges social structures like the healthcare system. As a professional need-responder, you cover both internal and external contributors to your client’s wellness goals. This includes addressing structural barriers. You equip your client with the support system to challenge social structures hindering the resolution of needs This includes the built-in barriers in our healthcare system, in bureaucracies, in educational systems and social services, and more. Need-response exists outside of these strained institutions. You likely can find some respite for yourself as you assist your clients, with less risk of countertransference. 08  Stigma Around Mental Health “Despite growing awareness, stigma around mental health can make it harder for clients to fully engage in therapy or for therapists to feel that their work is valued by society.” Need-response dissolves stigma by addressing external wellness factors. As a professional need-responder, you recognize wellness as more than what goes on within one’s mind. You learn to appreciate the label “mental health” as a synecdoche . Like “boots on the ground” or “hired hand”, you appreciate “mental” as merely part of the whole process of wellbeing. But you also recognize the distorting biases when taking that figure of speech too literally—and neglecting the externalities that affect wellbeing. Your whole approach emphasizes how wellness is psychosocial . Unlike psychotherapy, you help your client directly address powerful barriers to their wellbeing, in ways that incentivize powerholders to engage and therapeutically adjust where appropriate. 09  Isolation “Solo practitioners may experience professional isolation, with limited opportunities to collaborate with or receive support from colleagues.” Need-response builds social connections with a support team. As a professional need-responder, you rarely work alone. You help your client build a support team. Along the way, you may forge partnerships with other professionals to help in the process. That includes other psychotherapists. You help each assisting psychotherapist to shift from adjusting the individual to adjusting the terms of each unresponsive relationship. Especially those with powerholders, who may even collaborate with your efforts to improve your client’s wellbeing. 10  Ethical Dilemmas “Counselors often face complex ethical challenges, such as balancing confidentiality with legal obligations, which can be stressful and emotionally taxing.” Need-response risks fewer ethical conundrums. As a professional need-responder, you gradually disengage from day-to-day contact with your client. You step back and let them lead, or be led by, their emerging support team. You become more of a prompter , helping them remember their lines. This lets you steer clear of ethical traps you may encounter in psychotherapy. For example, you don’t risk slipping into being too permissive with a client out of a likely fear they may not return. You continually help your client and their supporters to respect every inflexible need as the standard for others to respect their inflexible needs. 11  Pressure to Meet Metrics “In agency or organizational settings, therapists may feel pressured to meet productivity targets or focus on documentation over quality care.” Need-response automates documentation of wellness improvements. As a professional need-responder in the era of artificial intelligence, documentation can be automatic. You typically serve your client via a videoconferencing call, where documentation can be automated. The process invites your client to periodically record their current wellness levels. You receive helpful feedback to help you improve those outcomes. Measurable wellness improvements are central to quality of the process. Accountability gets built into the process, to keep your hands free doing the work of wellness improvement. 12  Secondary Trauma “Hearing detailed accounts of clients’ traumatic experiences can lead to vicarious trauma, negatively impacting therapists' mental health.” Need-response equips all to process their emotionally disturbing experiences. As a professional need-responder, you help your clients address any current causes of trauma. Unlike typical psychotherapy, you are not helpless to do anything about it. Instead of serving as a sounding board for your client’s trauma, risking your own emotional wellbeing, you equip your client to challenge the source of such trauma. But in a way that helps those sources own up to their impacts. The more your client can “stop the bleeding” of ongoing traumatizing events, the less their past traumas tend to be evoked. You help your clients to get their disturbing feelings to better serve them, so they no longer feel powerlessly trapped to serve their feelings. 13  Lack of Personal Growth “Therapists who prioritize their clients' needs over their own may neglect their own self-care or professional development, leading to stagnation.” Need-response provides ample opportunity for personal improvement. As a professional need-responder, you may be highly emotionally invested at the beginning of a wellness campaign. But as your client works more with their emerging support team, your intensity naturally wanes. As you observe how your client’s wellbeing improves, your own wellbeing likely improves. The process allows for less risk of neglecting your own self-care. Much like the counselor reporting to their supervisor, you typically will report to a more senior professional need-responder. Who will ensure you’re taking care of yourself enough to reliably serve your clients. 14  Difficult Client Dynamics “Working with resistant, aggressive, or highly demanding clients can create a stressful therapeutic environment.” Need-response filters out unqualified clients. As a professional need-responder focusing on improving wellness, you rarely if ever have to serve a client who is not functioning at a standard minimum. Clients presenting any aggressive or demanding attitude must identify a proxy or ally to represent their interests. In some situations, that proxy could be their psychotherapist. Need-response utilizes a business associate agreement  to partner with such psychotherapists. Instead of addressing addictions directly as psychotherapists do, the need-responder addresses it indirectly. Any addiction gets symbolized by how much money and energy uncontrollably spent elsewhere, as the specifics matter less than ending the cause of a client’s pain from unmet needs. At this point, you never have to work with an involuntary client . The client must demonstrate their readiness, willingness and ability to get through a process that puts them in charge of their own wellbeing. And demonstrate the skills to cooperate with their peer supporters. 15  Societal and Cultural Challenges “Therapists may struggle with societal issues such as systemic inequality, lack of access to mental health resources, or navigating cultural differences with clients.” Need-response equips all to take on unresponsive social structures. As a professional need-responder, helping your clients take on structural barriers is your specialty. You equip them and their supporters to tackle systemic inequalities. The first phase of the wellness campaign tries to exhaust all your client can do about their affected wellbeing. Thereafter, the process challenges Western culture’s presumption of individuality. You embrace this cultural difference that appreciates how wellness is psychosocial . You help your client attract supporters most aligned with their cultural values and outlook. You gain insight into common and divergent cultural views with the support team. 16  Low Prestige and Recognition “Despite the critical nature of their work, therapists may feel undervalued compared to other professions, especially in terms of compensation and societal respect.” Need-response can unleash your potential to earn the public’s respect. As a professional need-responder helping clients take on the world at large, you’re poised to garner a unique level of professional respect. Demand for your specialization could command much higher levels of compensation. The more you can incentivize powerholders to be accountably more responsive to your clients, for the benefit of their constituents, the greater your potential for earning prestige. Especially when they leave testimonials appreciating your work. 17  Ethical and Professional Risks “The risk of client complaints, licensing board investigations, or legal actions can create a constant undercurrent of anxiety for practitioners.” Need-response responds more effectively to client complaints. As a professional need-responder, you learn how to prioritize inflexible needs over flexible laws. You quickly link any cited norm to the needs it exists to serve, the address the context of those affected needs. You give your clients and team members ample opportunity to express their affected needs with how you conduct yourself with them. Any investigation or legal action gets held accountable to respecting the needs on all sides. Need-responses asserts a higher standard over adversarial law: properly resolving each other’s needs . And to thoroughly unpack, in an environment of mutual understanding and support, how each can improve their responsiveness to needs—without slipping down the rabbit hole of questionable preferences . 18  Balancing Personal and Professional Lives “The emotional demands of the job can make it hard to ‘leave work at work,’ potentially impacting the therapist’s personal relationships and well-being.” Need-response lets you balance your personal and professional lives. As a professional need-responder, you rarely face the kind of private emotional turmoil common in psychotherapy. After the initial one-on-one phase, you find it easier to leave the work behind and enjoy your personal life more. The more you observe everyone’s wellness improve, the less you would want to leave such beneficial outcomes at work. You may welcome the same in your own personal life. ChatGPT adds, “Addressing these challenges often requires therapists to prioritize their self-care, seek supervision or peer support, set boundaries, and occasionally reassess their career path or the populations they serve.” Need-response can do all that and more.   Instead of treating the individual, you treat the power relation. Instead of helping your client seek relief from symptoms, you help them identify unresolved needs prompting those uncomfortable symptoms. Instead of charging them for serving their private health needs, you invite their peers to invest in their public wellness cause. Does this speak to you? Can you see yourself embracing the opportunity to become a need-responder?     Thank you for your interest. Follow developments by listening to the Need-Response podcast each Wednesday, starting 30 April 2025. Let’s build this amazing service that can more effectively serve your overlooked needs. back-to-top

Are you disillusioned with psychotherapy? Tired of trying to change for others who rarely change for you?   Consider the emerging alternative of need-response. It’s a new professional service in development to address needs the law cannot effectively address.   Based on anankelogy, the new social science for understanding our needs, it applies and prioritizes responses to our inflexible needs . One caring act at a time. Pixabay image: Click image to see the original. Which do you prefer? Stick with established institutions and attempts to reform them, then hope for the best. OR Join efforts to co-create a fresh alternative for accountably responding to your needs. When asking ChatGPT  for a “List of pain points of those disillusioned with psychotherapy,” it offered these 20 pain points. See how the new professional service of need-response answers each one. Click on the listed item to go there instantly. Return to this list by clicking on any header below in green text. 01.  High Cost of Therapy 02.  Slow Progress 03.  Lack of Practical Solutions 04.  Dependence on the Therapist 05.  Mismatch with Therapist’s Style 06.  Overemphasis on Past Issues 07.  Stigma and Judgment 08.  Confidentiality Concerns 09.  Unclear Goals or Outcomes 10.  Feeling Invalidated or Misunderstood 11.  Focus on Diagnosis Over Individuality 12.  Negative Experiences with Therapists 13.  Ineffective Therapy Modalities 14.  Difficulty Finding the Right Therapist 15.  Lack of Immediate Relief 16.  Emphasis on Client’s Role in Healing 17.  Unpredictable Emotional Impact 18.  Sense of Therapy as Transactional 19.  Reluctance to End Therapy 20.  Inadequate Support Outside Sessions   After each of these items below, see how need-response  can be far, far better. Click the right arrow to expand the text. After each point below, see how need-response  can be far, far better. This is where you can join the effort. You are welcomed to respond to this vision, add to it, critique it, and help shape this alternative. Join us in resolving more needs to improve our overall wellness, which the law itself can never do.   According to ChatGPT, “Here are some common pain points experienced by people who feel disillusioned with psychotherapy.” 01  High Cost of Therapy “Many feel that therapy is prohibitively expensive, with sessions and ongoing treatment placing a financial burden on individuals who need help.” Need-response doesn’t expect you to pay to solve a problem created largely by others. Need-response starts as a free service. A client initiates a wellness initiative or a wellness campaign with a free trial. Then they invest as little as $5 per week to get started. Just enough to ensure they have some skin in the game, per se. They invite others they know to support their improvement efforts. They attract followers, supporters and patrons  interested in their noble cause. The more the improvement they seek and find when speaking truth to power  in our pioneering engaging way, the more support they likely will inspire. There are more opportunity costs than any financial burden. 02  Slow Progress “A frequent frustration is the gradual pace of progress in therapy, leading some clients to feel that improvement is too slow or that they aren’t getting tangible results.” Need-response incentivizes prompt progress to measurably improve wellness. Need-response puts the client in the driver seat of creating the necessary change. Not only internal change, but external change as well. Other’s needed adjustments to respond better to the client’s needs could also drag on at a frustrating slow pace. But that frustration can be shared by the growing support team, who can lean on those failing to adjust in a timely manner.  Or inform them that their “services are no longer required” and shall be removed from having any further negative impact upon the client. Tangible results of improved outcomes can occur in the process, even if the ultimate goal itself remains elusive. 03  Lack of Practical Solutions “Some clients are disappointed by a perceived focus on talking rather than actionable solutions or coping strategies to address specific issues.” Need-response incentivizes prompt responsiveness to each other's needs. Need-response recognizes internal change through talking serves only as a starting point. This internal focus lays a foundation for pursuing actionable steps addressing external impacts on the client’s wellbeing. The focus of any therapy is less on changing one’s own thinking and more on changing the dynamics of the client’s relationships with others. Instead of treating individuals like psychotherapy, need-response treats relationships. Mostly those of significant influence or “ power ” over their life. Instead of seeking coping strategies, need-response aims to resolve the inflexible needs causing pain . The process encourages all involved to identify and resolve their inflexible needs  in ways least imposing on others. The process enables all to effectively address each other’s specific issues. 04  Dependence on the Therapist “Concerns that therapy can create a dependency on the therapist, with clients feeling unable to cope or make decisions independently.” Need-response cultivates each other’s independence from professional expertise. Need-responders encourage their client’s personal agency by nurturing their emerging independence from professional help. Need-responders start out in a coaching role, then gradually fall back as a prompter. They shift any reliance upon their services to the growing support team. Clients the get a taste of their own “ power ” over their situations by being peer supported to speak their truth to power. As clients learn how to incentivize the powerful to respond more effectively to their needs, in a mutually beneficial framework, they naturally become less dependent on the professional need-responder. 05  Mismatch with Therapist’s Style “Difficulty finding a therapist whose approach or personality aligns with the client’s needs or expectations, often leading to frustration or discomfort.” Need-response shifts focus on externalities, which can make it easier to build rapport. Need-response builds an expanding social support team and growing social network. With this expanding universe of social capital, the client tends to be less constrained by a need-responder’s particular style. It can be much easier to build therapeutic rapport when the emphasis is less about potentially embarrassing personal problems and more about being fortified to address social problems. If a client still cannot gel with a need-responder, both are encouraged to shop around to find the best match for each other. 06  Overemphasis on Past Issues “Some people feel that therapy overly focuses on past experiences or trauma, even if they want more future-oriented, problem-solving strategies.” Need-response is holistic; addressing both past and present, yourself and others. Need-response may start with a client’s past experiences for helpful context. But the need-responsive process quickly dives into the here and now. Instead of endlessly talking about how to personally adjust to problems like past trauma, the client learns what they can do to confront—in a proactive way—any continuing sources or triggers of such trauma. Solutions emerge not merely from within but between people getting to know each other’s vulnerable needs on a much more personable level. Mutual need-resolving provides a problem-solving strategy hardly considered in psychotherapy. 07  Stigma and Judgment “Concerns about feeling judged or stigmatized by therapists, especially if clients feel misunderstood or if therapists inadvertently impose biases.” Need-response shifts judgment and stigma onto imposing powerholders. Need-response shifts the onus onto powerholders who pressure clients against their will. Stigma shifts away from the vulnerable individual and onto the identified powerholder. All sides get ample opportunity to convey their affected needs. The emerging team provides clients with multiple perspectives to check biases and misconceptions. Indeed, need-response can be much more therapeutic with this group dynamic. Not merely as a kind of group therapy, but actively engaging each other’s impacted needs, and addressing any biases in the process. 08  Confidentiality Concerns “Anxiety about the limits of confidentiality, which can make clients hesitant to share sensitive information, especially if they worry about mandated reporting.” Need-response focuses on wellness without exposing any shameful coping behaviors. Need-response focuses on what others can do for the client, which doesn’t bring up as much sensitive information. Need-responders pledge to keep confidential any personal matter, such as any embarrassing addiction. When addressing client’s addictions, the process uses the proxy of financial management or weight gain/loss, or both. Need-responders never need to know the actual addiction. If the process helps the client overcome their private porn addiction, for example, it can become evident in their healthier handling of money, spending habits, eating and exercise. Along the way, clients discover others struggling with their own coping mechanisms and share their wellness goals to improve their own spending habits and physical wellbeing. 09  Unclear Goals or Outcomes “Clients may feel frustrated if therapy lacks clear objectives or measurable progress, leaving them unsure if therapy is beneficial or effective.” Need-response identifies unmet needs and sets a path for how to best resolve them. Need-response exists to improve wellness by resolving inflexible needs . Need-responders help their clients identify which needs to focus upon for resolution, namely those hindered by people in positions of power . As the wellness effort grows, other needs can be identified for resolution—both the client’s and the affected needs of those involved. The process guides the client to set a noble cause: something that can improve the lives of others as well as their own. For example, an improved path toward exonerating the wrongly convicted innocent that others can apply to their similar cases. Measurable progress toward these goals remains key. The process starts with a baseline of the client’s level of anxiety and depression, and gaged later to check for any improvement. Measurable wellness outcomes grounds the process. 10  Feeling Invalidated or Misunderstood “Some clients feel that their concerns or emotions are minimized or misunderstood by therapists, leading to a sense of being dismissed or invalidated.” Need-response relies on perspectives and affirmations of supportive group members. Need-response exists as a group project, with complementary perspectives. The client’s team members can help keep the professional need-responder accountable to the client’s state goals, concerns and emotions. Need-response uniquely appreciates emotions as how the body compels the body to attend to needs vital for functioning, for wellness. The process keeps need-responders accountable to client’s measurably improved wellness outcomes, like lowered anxiety and reduction of an addiction. Need-responders do not get fully paid if dismissing or invalidating a client’s input. 11  Focus on Diagnosis Over Individuality “Frustration with therapists who seem too focused on labels or diagnoses, rather than treating the person holistically and as an individual.” Need-response shifts focus from psychiatric disorders to social barriers on wellness. Need-response focuses on how a client’s needs get impacted by power dynamics , which challenges the medical model of diagnoses of psychiatry. Instead of diagnoses or labels looking inward, need-response utilizes “ defunctions ” and “ refunctions ” that looks holistically inwardly and outwardly, to appreciate the full context of the client’s reported problem. The process appreciates the client as an individual with a unique set of defunctions and remediating refunctions for restoring wellness unique to their situation. Need-response appreciates how wellness is psychosocial , so the process does not stray into neglecting the individual nor overemphasizing individuality in socially potent circumstances. 12  Negative Experiences with Therapists “Negative or even harmful experiences, such as feeling judged or encountering a dismissive therapist, can lead to distrust of the entire therapeutic process.” Need-response holds need-responders accountable with engaging assessments. Need-response rates the quality of each need-responder’s service. Clients evaluate the need-responder’s effectiveness in particular situations, helping future clients find the best match. Profiles of need-responders let you see which deliver the best quality service for your specific circumstances. For example, how many of their clients were significantly better off from their support. Need-response earns its trust over standard psychotherapy by complementing internal changes with external changes needlessly provoking stress. While it true that the client chooses how to respond to stressors, need-response reduces and potentially removes such pointless stressors to improve overall wellness. 13  Ineffective Therapy Modalities “Clients may feel disillusioned when a particular therapeutic approach (e.g., CB T , psychoanalysis) doesn’t work for them, but therapists insist on sticking to it.” Need-response complements inward improvement with external improvements. Need-response does not rely exclusively on personal therapy, as most problems stem (at least in part) from outside of oneself. Need-response recognizes how your wellness is psychosocial . Of course, psychotherapy fails to work if personal change is not even the issue. Seeking social changes through politics and the law also fails to accountably improve wellness. The target of need-responsive change—or therapy—is the dynamics of relationships. Namely, power relations . The more responsive a powerful person  to the client’s vulnerable needs, the greater the wellness level of that individual. Once these powerful persons recognize they can turn negative impacts into more positive ones, need-response incentivizes them by affirming their demonstrated legitimacy . When all internal changing proves insufficient, need-response steps in to nurture and incentivize the external changes for improving each other’s wellbeing. 14  Difficulty Finding the Right Therapist “Many people feel discouraged by the challenge of finding a therapist they connect with, as well as the time, money, and energy it requires.” Need-response gives you a free taste of its value before you commit yourself. Need-response fills a key service gap left open by psychotherapy, and that is someone who can address their challenges holistically. Seeking a need-responder is much like finding a therapist to fit your needs. You find one equipped to serve your goal, your specialized situation, and who already demonstrates a track record of producing results for clients. A simpler way to find such a match is to first become a ‘follower’ supporting other clients’ wellness cause. You then can get to know each need-responder up close. Your precious time, money and energy could best focused on first helping others reach their wellness goals. Then using that to orient you to the many options available in need-response. 15  Lack of Immediate Relief “Unlike medication, therapy can take a long time to show results, which can feel frustrating for those in acute distress who want quicker relief.” Need-response stretches your ability to endure pain so you can remove its cause. Need-response may not be right for those requiring prompt relief from acute distress. But it can instantly reduce stress in most situations. As soon as others join your team, you no longer must bear the stress alone. As soon as you’re supported to engage powerful stressors, like an angry boss or demanding landlord, you start to experience less stress. Along the way, you learn to stretch your capacity to endure life’s many natural discomforts. You find more meaning in the anguish you endure on your path toward resolving needs. You appreciate prompt relief in some areas while eventually removing cause for pain by meaningfully removing the threats causing you pain. 16  Emphasis on Client’s Role in Healing “Some clients feel overwhelmed by the responsibility placed on them for their own healing, without feeling they have the tools or guidance needed to succeed.” Need-response complements self-healing with an emotionally invested support team. Need-response spreads responsibility for your healing with those contributing to your lack of wellness. Without compromising your personal agency, you complement those areas you do have adequate control by incentivizing those in power  to address those areas you lack control. You respond better to their needs to inspire them to respond better to yours. You address both internal and external impacts to wellness in ways psychotherapy never can. In sharp contrast to psychotherapy’s primary focus on your internal thought processes and behaviors, neglecting social pressures limiting your wellness options, need-response appreciates how wellness is psychosocial . This itself can guide you to succeed in ways like never before. 17  Unpredictable Emotional Impact “Therapy can bring up painful emotions or memories, which may feel destabilizing and even counterproductive to some clients.” Need-response melts the intense pain of emotions and memories by resolving needs. Need-response links every emotion , no matter how disconcerting, to some affected need. Need-responders only invite you to share your feelings to get to the needs such feelings exist to convey. Then unpack both internal and external barriers to resolving such needs. Along the way, you learn to expand your capacity to work through painful emotions. You find that you can endure the discomfort of processing traumatizing memories like never before. Because now you see a reachable path to redressing the external sources of such pain. You receive broad support to remove the cause of your pain on your path to greater wellness. 18  Sense of Therapy as Transactional “Some people feel that therapy can feel transactional or impersonal, where the therapeutic relationship is seen as one-sided and limited to the scheduled hour.” Need-response emphasizes continual engagement of each other’s affected needs. Need-response goes from an interpersonal dynamic between the professional need-responder  and the client to an expanding social network of different levels of personal support. Some of these can feel more transactional than emotionally reciprocal. Others can provide necessary supports outside of scheduled sessions. Need-responders help the client to negotiate their terms for each of these support relations. The process incentivizes mutual responsiveness to each other’s needs, and a lack of sufficient responsiveness that feels coldly transactional can suggest to either improve responsiveness by greater engagement or to let that relationship go. To drop what no longer serves. Then make room for what is more responsive to each other’s needs, to improve overall wellness. 19  Reluctance to End Therapy “Clients may feel unsure when therapy should end or may feel pressured to continue without clear milestones, creating a sense of dependency or ambiguity.” Need-response sets a schedule of progressing stages with a clear end point. Need-response follows a set program of an individually-led wellness initiative or team-led wellness campaign. Similar to treatment planning in psychotherapy, the need-responder spells out a four- or five-stage process with a clear end point in mind. Each stage reaches a milestone that’s agreed upon early. Each stage gages the key wellness level of the client, to help determine if the process actually reduces anxiety, depression and pain coping habits. The first stage segues into the next by shifting dependency from the need-responder to the support team. The need-responder then serves more as a prompter than a director of the process. As the program draws to a scheduled conclusion, the need-responder can invite engaged clients to optionally serve as an experienced supporter for another’s wellness campaign. 20  Inadequate Support Outside Sessions “A common pain point is the feeling that support is only available during sessions, leaving clients to cope alone between appointments.” Need-response nurtures peer support beyond the time with the need-responder. Need-response features a support team whose members can be called upon in between scheduled sessions. The client learns who among these they rely upon the most for certain functions. They may find one of their support team members provides the best feedback to crucial decisions. Another may serve as the best active listener. Yet another may offer the most appropriate legal or technical advice. You might be lucky enough to include a support team member who completed the program as a previous client, and can now offer you the kind of informed support they wished they had at the start. Does this speak to you? Could you benefit from what need-response potentially offers?     Thank you for your interest. Follow developments by listening to the Need-Response podcast each Wednesday, starting 30 April 2025. Let’s build this amazing service that can more effectively serve your overlooked needs. back-to-top

Are you disillusioned with lawyers? Do you long for a different career? Become a need-responder . You give up the adversarial role of attorney to mutually apply the law to everyone's benefit.   Get in on the ground floor and help co-create this amazing alternative to legal services. Help us all resolve more needs to help us improve our overall wellness. Pixabay image: Click image to see the original. Which do you prefer? Remain working in a profession you find dissatisfying, hoping somehow things will get better. OR Join efforts to co-create a fresh alternative for accountably responding to your needs. When prompting ChatGPT  for the “top reasons lawyers can be disenchanted with practicing law,” it offered these 15 pain points. See how the new professional service of need-response answers each one. Click on the listed item to go there instantly. Return to this list by clicking on any header below in green text. 01.  High Stress Levels 02.  Work-Life Imbalance 03.  Lack of Fulfillment 04.  High Student Loan Debt 05.  Difficult Clients 06.  Monotonous Tasks 07.  Adversarial Nature of the Job 08.  Limited Career Growth 09.  Firm Culture 10.  Evolving Client Expectations 11.  Mental Health Challenges 12.  Ethical Dilemmas 13.  Market Saturation 14.  Unpredictable Income 15.  Overemphasis on Profit   After each of these items below, see how need-response  can be far, far better. Click the right arrow to expand the text. After each point below, see how need-response  can be far, far better. This is where you can join the effort. You are welcomed to respond to this vision, add to it, critique it, and help shape this alternative. Join us in resolving more needs to improve our overall wellness, which the law itself can never do.   According to ChatGPT, “ Lawyers can become disenchanted with practicing law for a variety of reasons. Here are some common ones .”   01  High Stress Levels “Law is a high-pressure profession with tight deadlines, heavy caseloads, and significant client expectations. This constant stress can lead to burnout over time.” Need-response shares the heavy lifting with the client’s support team. If choosing to become a professional need-responder, you learn to replace the law’s adversarial approach with a more need-responsive alternative. The adversarialism of the legal process unnecessarily creates stress for all sides. Need-response replaces stressful adversarialism with amicable mutuality. Instead of the pressure of pursuing win-lose outcomes to offer relief to the winning side, need-response pursues amicable win-win outcomes beneficial to all sides. You only take on the cases you know you are sufficiently qualified to oversee. Each client’s support team alleviates the caseload. Clients must first demonstrate they are fit for this alternative, so you can redirect any unfounded expectation to their agreed terms of service. 02  Work-Life Imbalance “Long hours, frequent overtime, and the expectation to always be available can make it challenging to maintain a healthy work-life balance.” Need-response grants you more space to live your life fully. As a professional need-responder, you spread the workload to your client’s support team. They step up to perform the more monotonous tasks, like factchecking. You no longer must sacrifice your precious time to dot every ‘I’ and cross every ‘T’. Your role evolves into a coordinator, as you nurture team members to become need-responders in their own right. You delegate tasks to them to help them grow their responsiveness to needs, as you savor more time for your personal development and private life. 03  Lack of Fulfillment “Some lawyers find that their work doesn’t align with their personal values or passions, particularly in roles that feel more transactional than meaningful.” Need-response features a noble cause that provides meaning to your efforts. As a professional need-responder qualifying in specialized areas, you connect with clients requiring your specialized assistance. You agree to support clients with a wellness cause you personally support. Instead of impersonal interactions serving flexible law, you engage in personal enrichment directly serving client’s inflexible needs. Instead of offering pain relief for the winning side in a court battle, you offer meaningful resolution of needs on all sides of a conflict or situation. The whole process prioritizes universal values enshrined in our most sacred texts. Incentivizing responsiveness to needs among those in authority is about the only thing that remains transactional, giving them a taste of their own medicine. 04  High Student Loan Debt “The financial burden of law school loans can weigh heavily, especially if the lawyer's salary doesn’t meet their financial needs or expectations.” Need-responders creates opportunity to earn a lucrative income. As a professional need-responder, you have opportunity to exponentially increase your income. You help your client attract enough crowdfunding supporters to cover your basic rate. You then lead your team to incentivize powerholders to convert from the free Sufficiently Responsive program to a Competitively Responsive program. Even more lucrative income opens up t o you if converting an inspiring leader into the Transformatively Responsive program. Income streams could easily outpace your student loan and other regular financial commitments. Especially early one when demand for your services could compel you to raise your rates.   05  Difficult Clients “Managing clients who are unreasonable, demanding, or emotionally draining can contribute to job dissatisfaction.” Need-response screens a client’s fit for the need-response approach. As a professional need-responder serving qualified clients, you rarely if ever have to serve an emotionally demanding client. The process requires such clients to be represented by someone they personally know and trust. You then interact instead with the person granted power of attorney. You keep your hands free to help this ally grow the support team. Along the way, you address the needs that fuel the emotional intensity of such clients. To the point they no longer have cause to be so emotionally demanding. 06  Monotonous Tasks “For many, practicing law involves a lot of repetitive tasks like document review, drafting, and administrative duties, which can feel unchallenging or tedious over time.” Need-response shifts such work to support team members and AI. As a professional need-responder, you spread the workload to your client’s support team. They step up to perform the more monotonous tasks, such as factchecking. Perhaps some monotonous legal tasks can be delegated to qualified artificial intelligence and checked. More demanding legal tasks can be assigned to a hired lawyer with our business associate agreement . Your role remains more of a coordinator, to oversee the process of greater responsiveness of all involved. You let others handles the minutia that makes your professional role go more smoothly. 07  Adversarial Nature of the Job “Constantly dealing with conflict—whether in litigation, negotiations, or disputes—can take a psychological toll on some lawyers.” Need-responders turns conflicts into opportunities for beneficial mutual support. As a professional need-responder in a field emphasizing mutuality, you rarely if ever deal with litigated conflicts or disputes. Need-response incentives you and others to negotiate in good faith, toward the mutual benefit of all involved. Your wellness potentially improves as you guide your clients to improve their wellness levels. You see the value of shifting from adversarialism—of constant conflicts—to mutual support that results in more needs resolving. And better wellness outcomes among all those involved. You drop the adversarial role of attorney. You never advocate for one party against another. You apply the law equally to everyone’s inflexible needs. Where necessary, you step above the minimal standards of law and stretch outside the bounds of adversarialism. 08  Limited Career Growth “In some legal fields or firms, the path to advancement can be slow, uncertain, or overly competitive, leaving lawyers feeling stuck.” Need-response offers new paths for professional success and prestige. As a professional need-responder in a pioneering new field, your path to career advancement could be unprecedented. Where competition emerges, you simply narrow your offerings to an underserved niche. As one of the first professional need-responders, you could trailblaze and truly make a name for yourself. You may find yourself in high demand. Powerholders could gladly invest hundreds of dollars in your sweet alternative to the less valuable adversarial status quo. Instead of seeking partnership in some law firm, you could lead an agency creating far more valuable outcomes than any law firm ever could. 09  Firm Culture “The culture of certain law firms can be toxic or overly focused on billable hours, making the workplace feel impersonal or unsupportive.” Need-response stays accountable to improved wellness outcomes. As a professional need-responder, your bottom-line hinges on how well you help your client resolve their inflexible affected needs. Billable hours play a minimal role. You shape the culture of your agency by the improved wellness outcomes of your clients. Instead of a cutthroat atmosphere, your agency works together to brand itself as more responsive to needs than available alternatives. You work with your need-responder colleagues on what you can delegate to responsible support team members. Your work incentivizes you toward more personal connections and mutual support. 10  Evolving Client Expectations “Clients increasingly demand quicker results, lower fees, and more accessible communication, which can increase stress and decrease job satisfaction.” Need-response creates prompt improvements at lower costs with transparency. As a professional need-responder, you screen clients for readiness for this pioneering alternative. You recommend or may even require clients to take on an ally, if they present a lack of discipline to stick with the mutually agreed terms of service. You forward the same standards to onboarded support team members. And later to the powerholders you interact with on your client’s behalf. Unlike legal services, you train your clients and onboarded team supporters to stretch their resilience. You encourage them to turn any difficult challenges into opportunities to outshine lackluster powerholders. They get all this at a cost far less than individually hiring a lawyer. 11  Mental Health Challenges “The legal profession has high rates of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse, often exacerbated by the stress and demands of the job.” Need-response prioritizes everyone’s affected needs to improve overall wellbeing. As a professional need-responder, you focus on your own wellbeing along with the wellbeing of those you serve. You never let the demands of your role undercut your reputation to proactively respond to needs. Need-response helps you identify any source of your own anxiety and depression. You learn to be more responsive to your neglected needs, so as not to fall trap to coping behaviors. The more you turn your own personal challenges into opportunities of growth, the more you brand yourself to future clients. You model to them what need-response can also do for them. 12  Ethical Dilemmas “Lawyers can face moral conflicts when representing clients or causes that conflict with their personal beliefs.” Need-response identifies the needs behind moral conflicts. As a professional need-responder trained to identify and address needs, you will to be better equipped to handle ethical situations. You will quickly spot the inflexible needs and those needs exposed to dangerous influences of the powerful. All professional need-responders and agencies answer to the oversight of the Anankelogy Foundation, or its delegated oversight committee. Which you could possibly serve as a trusted member of the need-responder community. You guard the integrity of this new profession by promptly identifying ethical situations. And offering need-responsive solutions. Everyone gets held accountable to the measurable wellness outcomes of clients, and helped to deliver that priority. 13  Market Saturation “In some areas, there are more lawyers than opportunities, which can result in underemployment or the need to take on less desirable cases.” Need-response opens an untapped market for creating new kinds of value. As a professional need-responder serving a brand-new market, you likely will find more opportunities than you can fill. Demand for your specialized service should motivate you to train support team members as the next generation of professional need-responders. As others start to compete for your market share, you learn to specialize even further as you find an untapped niche. Since you are among the first in this marketplace, you will be among the first to “kick it up” and serve those in positions of power to improve their earned legitimacy. Which can evolve into a lucrative source of income for you. 14  Unpredictable Income “Solo practitioners or those in small firms often experience income instability, especially during economic downturns.” Need-response financially backs cases not generating sufficient revenue. As a professional need-responder answering to a nonprofit, you are guaranteed a steady income as long as you are demonstrably creating value for clients and their support teams. When you first meet with a new client who is using the free trial period, your time and effort gets compensated by the Foundation. Once you take off and attract revenue—first with an expanding crowdfunding campaign and alter with earned legitimacy support—your income then grows to new bounds. You will be asked to remit the amount fronted to you, to get you started, but you are not required to compensate this grant. You simply have opportunity to demonstrate your responsiveness if you can “pay it forward”. 15  Overemphasis on Profit “The focus on billable hours, profitability, and meeting financial targets can overshadow the human aspects of the profession.” Need-response economically incentivizes the priority of improved wellness. As a professional need-responder under the umbrella of a nonprofit, your incentives prioritize wellness. You learn to focus more on improving wellness outcomes than the economic bottom line of others. The focus on need keeps us accountable to see money as merely a tool. Need-response incentivizes you to put your interpersonal connections ahead of impersonal financial clout. As the Cree Indian proverb puts it, “ you can’t eat money .” You connect deeper with clients than you ever could as merely a lawyer. ChatGPT adds, “Addressing these challenges often requires a reassessment of career goals, seeking support, or exploring alternative roles within or outside the legal profession.” Need-response can be that viable alternative.   Instead of advocating for your client to win in a legal battle, you incentivize all sides to mutually support resolving each other’s affected needs. Instead of offering relief for the winning side, you support all sides to resolve their inflexible needs. Does this speak to you? Can you see yourself embracing the opportunity to become a need-responder?     Thank you for your interest. Follow developments by listening to the Need-Response podcast each Wednesday, starting 30 April 2025. Let’s build this amazing service that can more effectively serve your overlooked needs. back-to-top

My first attempt at podcasting lasted four weeks. I used BlogTalkRadio , which was the only podcasting service to enable callers to call in and be part of the live episode. I opted for a pre-recorded format. Which I can do elsewhere. Recently, BlogTalkRadio announced they were having to discontinue the service as of Jan-2025. Time for me to move on. Need-Response  responds to your particular needs in ways the law cannot. Need-response either complements or competes with various legal professions: lawyers, the judicial system, the innocence movement, politicians. While no one sits above the law, no law sits above your inflexible needs. Laws passed in a democratic country exist to serve your needs more than the needs of law enforcement. Look for the shows here to take on the shortcomings of law, to address your specific needs. One daring step of tough love at a time. Tags for all four episodes: wrongful convictions - legalism - lawyers - needs - solutions - criminal justice system - justice social justice - exonerations 33:00 1-01. Steph Turner responds to your needs like no lawyer can Broadcast April 1, 2023, 12:00 AM Welcome to Need-Response for You ! I am your host Steph Turner of Value Relating . Join us this Saturday at noon, to learn about a pioneering alternative to impersonal laws, called need-response .   1) Set reminder (blue button above). 2)  Download text  (pdf). 3) Join me Saturday.   Each episode features smaller segments. The first half is prerecorded. The last half opens for calls from you. BRIEF OPENING A . Engaging query B . Branding C . Episode preview NARRATIVE SECTION D . Laws fail me E . Needs before laws F . Understanding needs G . Saving law enforcement from itself H . Laws alone fix nothing I . Alternative to a broken system J . Introducing need-response FEATURES SECTION K . Shedding light on needs L . Today’s illustrated concept M . Today’s new vocab N . Today’s anankelogic principle O . Invitation to you (call in) Call in at 563-999-3760 to give your input. If you’re disappointed with lawyers, or disgusted by politicians, let’s start a dialogue on how to better respond to our needs. 49:00 1-02 Steph Turner incentivizes lawyers and politicians with tough love Broadcast April 8, 2023, 12:00 AM Welcome back! I am Steph Turner of Value Relating , host of the Need-Response for You podcast , here on Blog Talk Radio . Join us Saturday, April 8th, 2023, at noon (ET) to continue learning about a pioneering alternative to impersonal laws, called need-response . While listening to the prerecorded section, call in to give your input. Your call will land into an off-air screening room. Let the host know if you would like to share your thoughts live. The number is 563-999-3760 .   1) Set reminder (blue button above). 2)  Download text  (pdf). 3) Join me Saturday.   Follow along with this outline of segments.  A . Engaging query cold open B . Branding C . Episode preview D . Authority of love over law NARRATIVE E . Enter low standards F . Sliding off the rails G . Tragically backwards H . Compelled to resolve needs I . Avoid, avoid, avoid J . Three limits of law K . Need-response transcends limited law L . Results matter FEATURES M . Shedding light on needs N . Illustrated concept: need direction cycle O . Anankelogy term: “pain” P . Today’s defunction: “civic legalism” Q . Today’s anankelogic principle R . Need-response feature: “operative love” Then call in at 563-999-3760  to give your input. If you're disappointed with lawyers, check if this alternative can offer you a better solution. 52:00 1-03 Steph Turner describes how too much law pulls us into dysfunction Broadcast April 15, 2023, 12:00 AM Welcome back! I am Steph Turner of Value Relating , host of the Need-Response for You podcast , here on Blog Talk Radio . Please join us on Saturday, April 15th, 2023, to continue learning about a pioneering alternative to impersonal laws, called need-response , and how this can help the wrongly convicted still underserved by the innocence movement. After listening to the prerecorded section, call in to give your input. The number is 563-999-3760 . If you're disappointed with lawyers, check if this alternative can offer you a better solution.   Download text to this episode outline here . A . Engaging query cold open B . Branding C . Episode preview NARRATIVE D . Can you picture this? E . Ask and they shall deceive F . Why can’t they see the difference? G . What if this was your job? H . Skewed toward wrongful convictions I . Calling out a broken system J . A better functioning alternative ANANKELOGY K . Shedding light on needs L . Illustrated concept: functionality levels M . Anankelogy term: defunction & refunction N . Today’s defunction: symfunctional strain O . Today’s anankelogic principle NEED-RESPONSE P . Need-response feature: EIF Q . Speaking your truth to power R . Let’s build this together Call in at  563-999-3760  to give your input. If you're disappointed with lawyers, check if this alternative can offer you a better solution. 37:00 1-04 Steph Turner introduces an alternative to innocence claim forms Broadcast April 22, 2023, 12:00 AM Welcome back! I am Steph Turner of Value Relating , host of the Need-Response for You podcast . Please join us on Saturday, April 22nd, 2023, to learn about a pioneering alternative to innocence claim forms. This one instantly calculates the viability of a claim by comparing it to those already exonerated. And potentially much more. Download text to this episode outline here. A . Cold open – engaging query B . Branding intro script C . Episode preview NARRATIVE D . Wrongful convictions stem from wrongful law enforcement E . Introduced to the Innocence Project F . Keep hoping, keep trying G . Too much faith in law? H . Shedding light on needs NEED-RESPONSE I .  Walk through of our free interactive too J . Landing page K . General Instructions L . What’s your story? M . Completing the form N . Using your estimated innocence O . Expanding this vision P . Myself as an example Q . Inviting your input After listening to the prerecorded section, call in to give your input. The number is 563-999-3760 . If you're disappointed with lawyers, check if this alternative can offer you a better solution.     back-to-top

This is just the first rough draft of the episode zero. Not bad, I think. We can improve upon it next time. Episode Zero Script for introducing the Need-Response podcast to the world. Gustavo:         Disappointed in the legal process? Steph:              Disgusted with politics? Gustavo:         Disenchanted with psychotherapy? Steph:              What if there was an alternative to these institutions? Now there is: Both:                Need-response . [cue branding music] Steph:              Welcome aboard to Need-Response, cohosted by me, Steph Turner of Michigan, Gustavo:         and me, Gustavo, of Sao Paulo. Steph is the author of the book You NEED This, introducing anankelogy, the study of need . I was the first to read it when published in 2021. And to learn about need-response , for solving problems like never before. [fade out branding music] Steph:              Each week these last three years, we’ve applied this new understanding of need to illuminate current events. Like the political winds in Brazil, in the United States, and around the world. Gustavo:         And to unpack the conflicts behind the wars in Ukraine and in Israel. Once we viewed conflicts through the lens of affected needs, whole new worlds and possibilities began to open up to us. Steph:              Now we welcome you into this conversation…in the form of this podcast. Gustavo:         Steph’s book applies this fresh understanding of need to this proposed new service of need-response . This service focuses on your needs, to fill the many gaps left wide open in our current disappointing institutions. We’ll explore how it can serve your needs. Steph:              Starting April 30th, 2025, we bring you inside this budding professional service that prioritizes your needs, your wellness. Gustavo:         We’ll introduce you to this field with a whole new set of illuminating  concepts and fresh vocabulary. We’ll radically  solve problems you cannot solve any other way. Steph:              Each episode features short clips to introduce you to this new world of understanding and serving your needs. To enable you to speak truth to power in a way they will be incentivized to listen. Gustavo:         Not filtered through laws. Steph:              Or policies. Gustavo:         Or diagnoses . Steph:              It puts your needs first. Gustavo:         Only need-response respects your needs as objective facts, independent of feelings or beliefs or behaviors. Steph:              We'll apply this to your relationship with your boss, Gustavo:         to your politicized needs, Steph:              to your underserved justice needs, Gustavo:         to your wellness needs, Steph:              and much more. Gustavo:         We’ll introduce you to some steps to improve your rapport with your boss. Steph:              We'll unpack politics to affirm your politicized needs, to better understand all ideological  sides. Gustavo:         We'll show you a better way to counter wrongful convictions, beyond toxic legalism, that holds lawyers and prosecutors to a higher standard of accountability. Steph:              We'll offer you a compelling alternative to psychotherapy, to address external threats to your wellbeing. Gustavo:         And much more. Along the way, you will gain a much deeper understanding of your pain, and your needs. Steph:              Isn't it time you had the option to serve your needs directly, over serving laws, over squeezing yourself into ideological norms, over fitting into psychological categories? Gustavo:         Isn't it time we had a professional service that incentivizes  our potential to love each other more? Steph:              Now there is. Gustavo:         And you can help build it. Steph:              Listen each Wednesday morning, as we take you through this new visionary service. Follow along as we market test this pioneering approach. Gustavo:         We’ll explore a new way to speak truth to power, in a way that incentivizes them to listen to those they impact . To measurably improve our wellness. Steph:              We’ll interview those powerholders who welcome this refreshing alternative. We’ll incentivize them to replace antagonistic legalism with mutual regard for each other's needs. Gustavo:         Then invite them to share the experience with you. Steph:              Together, we’ll honor their needs to incentivize honoring our needs, as an act of inspiring love. Such is the unique potential of need-response , untried and waiting for you to help us test it. We may even invite you onto this podcast. Gustavo:         You are invited to help shape it, to tweak it, so it can best serve your underserved  needs. So join us in transforming our world with this more loving approach. Steph:              We’ll explore the untapped market of solving problems by resolving needs, in a more loving way. Gustavo:         Learn more at AnankelogyFoundation.org . Steph:              Subscribe now [wherever you get your podcasts]. Catch the first episode on Wednesday, April 30th, 2025. Be among the first to start rejuvenating the world with this targeted… Both:                power of love. [cue outro music] TEXT HILIGHTED IN YELLOW: CHALLENGING TO PRONOUNCE

Appreciating the difference Which is best for you and your situation? Which could best serve you? A highly organized campaign designed to ensure your success? OR A loosely assembled initiative that makes it easy to get started? I designed the wellness campaign first. I intentionally designed it as a group project, to bring people together to address each other's needs. Then I realized few if anyone would commit to its rigorous demands. At least not until after gaining some traction with one of the interactive spreadsheet tools (later to become apps). So I designed a wellness initiative that anyone can start on their own. I recognize this could confuse visitors when browsing through the site. This articles tries to explain the differences. Think of responsivism as something within the larger scope of need-response. But consider a wellness campaign and a wellness initiative as two distinctly different things. Let's compare and contrast the two in these seven ways. Group project or individual effort Planned process or self-guided Wellness warmup or downloaded tool Weekly commitment or flexible support INVITE others or ALERT others Shift to an initiative or to a campaign High investment, low risk or low investment, high risk Let this help you decide which approach best fits your situation and need. 1. Group project or individual effort A wellness campaign is a demanding group project. After completing the wellness warmup exercise , you commit yourself to four or five progressing campaign phases. Each one builds on your development from earlier phases. The process coordinates almost every step along the way. You build social capital to grow support for your noble wellness goal. You share control of this group project to expand its value to others. A wellness initiative moves forward as your individual effort. You start without any commitments. You simply download one of the responsive interactive spreadsheet tools. You mostly use dropdown lists to utilize its features. And let it direct you to proactively engage others, to offer to respect their needs as you assert your affected needs.   Each tool can be used as a one-off. Or recycled and used over and over again. Use of one tool may inspire you to download and use another. These are all free, without email capture. You can find more detailed instructions here at Anankelogy Foundation. 2. Planned process or self-guided A wellness campaign unfolds as an online scheduled course. You sign up to attend weekly online sessions. Initially, you only meet with the professional need-responder.   Each successive phase adds more to that online session. All must agree when everyone can meet, or most can be available. A wellness initiative proceeds at your own self-guided pace. You go through the downloaded interactive tool at your own pace. If you need some support, you can post your questions at Anankelogy Foundation’s online forum.   Or seek direct one-on-one support from me, for a reasonable price—the first session is free. That’s the closest the initiative comes to committing to a schedule. 3. Wellness warmup or downloaded tool A wellness campaign starts with a wellness warmup exercise . You begin humbly enough offering to do little acts of kindness for others. You assert the higher ground of honoring the needs of others to inspire them to honor yours. This lets you practice speaking truth to power with those more forgiving of you. You grow relationships you will find necessary to commit to a full wellness campaign. A wellness initiative starts with a downloaded interactive tool . You can start with any responsive tool. The basic Personally Responsive tool mirrors the wellness warmup. It guides you to offer acts of kindness to others you know.   If you start with one of the other responsivism tools, the recipient could recommend that you go back to Personally Responsive to demonstrate your good faith intention. Or use one of the developmental responsive tools to improve your trustworthiness. 4. Weekly commitment or flexible support A wellness campaign requires an ongoing commitment. You could cancel or reschedule an online session early in the campaign. The more people join your campaign, the more any cancellation could have a damaging ripple effect that may cause you to lose momentum. You must hold down the fort for several months. A wellness initiative offers flexible support options. You could mix up these support options. After you sign up and receive direct online support from me, in a Zoom session, you can easily go back to using the no expense forum to get answers. You guide yourself and save a lot of money. 5. INVITE others or ALERT others A wellness campaign onboards others with your INVITE . When ready to attract interest in your campaign, you invite them with a specialized INVITE card. It provides the invitees three options for joining the campaign: follow for free, support for moderate engagement for a modest subscription, or go all in as your patron. A wellness initiative onboards others with your ALERT . You’re given a generic message for you to announce to those in your social circles that you are embarking on a wellness initiative. You notify them you will soon be sending more, much more. You alert them to this significant adjustment in your life. 6. Shift to an initiative or to a campaign A wellness campaign could revert to wellness initiative. If overwhelmed by the demands of a campaign, the need-responder may suggest or recommend that you suspend the campaign. Then find the proper responsivism tools to regain your footing. A wellness initiative could segue to a wellness campaign. Responsivism lets you attract powerholder’s interest before you commit to any campaign. Once you gain sufficient traction, then you may find a campaign worth the commitment. 7. High investment, low risk or low investment, high risk A wellness campaign requires much commitment, increasing your chance for success. You surround yourself with all kinds of people with all kinds of talent. Your campaign runs on both crowdfunding and crowdsourcing support.   You gain access to the resources increasing your chance to reach your wellness goal. And receive the resources to pursue your meaningful purpose in life . A wellness initiative asks little of you, but that can decrease your chance for success. You’re basically on your own. Your freedom to try this on your terms comes with the freedom to fail drastically.   You may need to segue to a full campaign to improve your chances to reach your goal or goals. Contact me or your professional need-responder to explore and then decide what is the best path for you. Your responsiveness to need-response or responsivism Your turn. Consider one or more of these options to respond to this need-responsive content. Check our Engaging Forum to FOLLOW discussions on this post and others. JOIN us as a site member to interact others and create your forum comments. Explore similar content by clicking on the tags below. Find similar content under this applied anankelogy category. Share this content with others on social media. Share the link to share the love. Check out recent posts of interest to you. Add a rating to let others know how much of a good read this was for you. Write a comment to give others an independent perspective on this content. Recommend this on Facebook. Introduce anankelogy to your social media contacts. Lastly, support us in building this new love-nurturing alternative to our hate-enabling institutions. You can help us spread some love. back-to-top

Engage. Instead of ignoring or even opposing the needs of the other side in a conflict, try to find out what those needs are. Relate to those needs as the other side experiences them. Support resolving their inflexible needs in ways that do not prevent you from resolving yours, in ways you would have them support resolving your affected needs. Model to them how to respect your unchosen needs by first affirming theirs. Which do you think could produce better results? Challenging others to a debate to see who's right or wrong. OR Engaging the affected needs driving our entrenched differences. "I'm exhausted." "I disagree." "I need to lay down." "I disagree." "I need to take a nap." "I disagree." "Opposing my need sounds ridiculous!" "I agree." CONTENTS Start first with their unshakeable needs . Then say what you can and cannot do about them . Finally, link them together . To be continued . We're keeping score . Let's understand each other . Engage ! If you enjoy spreading hostilities and locking us in problems and pain, this is not for you. If you truly seek peace and eager to pursue lasting solutions to our ongoing conflicts, this is especially for you. 1. Start first with their unshakeable needs. When was the last time you chose to be thirsty? Or chose to need a friend? Or chose to need solitude? Do any of your foes choose to be thirsty? Or choose to require a friend? Or choose to require solitude? Or do you choose not to engage the messy details of each other's needs? Engage the needs anyways .   It’s critical we keep separate the natural needs of others and what they insist we do about them. While we can change what we do about them, we cannot change the needs themselves.   Affirm their needs. Affirm the unshakeable needs on both sides to any argument. YOUR NATURAL NEEDS THEIR NATURAL NEEDS Before you object to any social pressures to respect their need, and before you insist that they first respect your affected needs, affirm their conveyed need first. You can do that, can't you? I believe it's called love . Let the limited speech activist LOVE the free speech advocate: Let the free speech advocate LOVE the limited speech activist: “I fully support you addressing your need for free speech so you can more fully function.” “I fully support you addressing your need for limiting speech so you can more fully function.”   Only after you confirmed their unshakeable need do you raise your legitimate concern about how they expect you to honor that need. 2.  Then say what you can or cannot do about them. However, I cannot guarantee that I can do exactly what you expect.” Then state your respectable concern for why you cannot go along with their generalized solution. If concerned about hate speech, you could say, If concerned about free speech, you could say, “The more you freely express your antagonistic views to a public audience, I’m rightly concerned some who agree with you will take it to extremes that could threaten my wellbeing." “The more you constrain everyone’s ability to publicly air their thoughts about sensitive topics, I’m rightly concerned the public discourse will sink into irrational beliefs and then some will act less appropriately.” You only challenge their expectations of how you’re to respond to their politicized need. You never challenge the unchosen need itself.   That’s engagement. That’s what we mean by “engage!” 3.  Finally, link them together. First, you engage each other’s core needs. Second, you engage each other’s expectations. Finally, you continue to engage each other to cultivate a deeper connection. From the Left, you connect deeper with those on the Right. From the Right, you connect deep with those on the Left. “The more you can appreciate my concerns about the risks of being retraumatized by extremists acting on your free speech, who take comfort in your moderate position but then takes it to a frightening extreme that threatens our wellbeing, the easier I can appreciate your concerns of the public discourse sinking into unchallenged views.” “The more you can appreciate my concerns about the public discourse sinking into undiscussed, unexplored, and unchallenged irrational beliefs, some acted violently upon in the darkness of limited speech, the easier I can appreciate your concerns about someone acting on exaggerated interpretations of my openly discussed views.” Not exactly a quid pro quo . Just keeping honest that putting their needs ahead of your own only works as long as you eventually can resolve your needs. After all, you must maintain a level of functioning to be able to give so generously. 4.  To be continued. Treat this as an ongoing conversation. Nurture empathy both ways. Endure the discomfort it takes. Resolving needs will remove that discomfort faster than avoiding the needs in the name of debate. Grant each other the space to better appreciate the merits of the other. Observe how they can now empathize with your experience of traumatizing public speech. Observe how they can now empathize with your experience of constrained public speech. As the free speech advocate acknowledges incidents of extremists exaggerating their good points that led to traumatizing the more vulnerable, the more they can empathize with your limited speech priorities. As the limited speech advocate acknowledges cases where a lack of free and open dialogue arguably contributed in some way to a violent act, the more they can empathize with your free speech priorities. Allow yourself to raise the bar. From easing the discomfort of your underserved needs to mutually supporting the full resolution of each other's affected needs . Build a reputation from being predictably mutually defensive to being predictably mutually responsive to each other's unchosen needs. 5. We're keeping score. When invited to engage , to affirm your opponent's unchosen natural needs , we'll give you credit. We will publicly honor your demonstrated trustworthiness to put love over hate. You're invited to regard us in the same light. We each seek to build up our response reputation . We each seek to earn your trust, as we seek to affirm your trustworthiness. We recognize your level of trust in someone tends to fall into one of these five levels. We apply this to powerholders as well. We affirm the unchosen needs of those in positions of authority over us. We replace "responsiveness" with "legitimacy" to specifically apply this to powerholders. This goes both ways. If I do anything to earn your distrust, my responsive rating can go down. If a powerholder does anything to earn your distrust, their earned legitimacy can do down. You can join us a need-responders qualified to empirically evaluate their responsiveness to our needs, and their legitimacy as our authority figures. 6. Let's understand each other. Apply this to any contested issue. Start with these eight hot button politicized needs. Look first for the unchosen needs on each side. Start by affirming their unchosen needs. Replace arguing with listening for their unchosen needs. Replace rejection with affirmation of the unchosen needs. Replace demanding with offering respect for each other's unchosen needs. Go ahead and apply this to any contested issue. Affirm the unchosen needs that first get expressed as what you're supposed to do about them. But don't take the bait. Don't confuse each other's flexible responses with each other's inflexible needs. You don't have to prematurely oppose others whose needs you've yet to understand. Nor they should anyone prematurely oppose yours. Show them how to affirm your unchosen needs by first affirming their unchosen needs. 7. Engage! Affirm unchosen needs. Let's step it up! We can cease fueling our differences. We can break the hold of elites over us. We can engage each other’s unchosen inflexible needs . Unconditionally affirm them, as you would have them affirm yours. Stop encouraging hostilities to the needs no one can change. Engage! No more indulgent side-taking excuses. "What about the myth of moral neutrality ?" "What about bothsidesism ?" "What about whataboutism ?" These objections aptly apply to what we do about our needs, and never applicable to the unchosen needs themselves. It's not helpful when such misapplied objections react more than respond . We need you to thoughtfully respond to everyone's unchosen needs. Become more need-responsive  than feel-reactive . Those you dismiss as apolitical may be more intuitively aware of each other’s unchosen needs. If you can’t change your needs for them, then why expect them to change their needs for you? Your political opponent didn't choose to need differently than you. Just as you didn't choose to need differently than them. So why remain alienated from each other over what neither of you can change? Engage! Affirm their unchosen needs. As you would have them affirm your unchosen needs. Engage! Spread the love of understanding, of peace building, of conflict resolution. By affirming unchosen needs. Engage! THIS IS ONE IN A SERIES TO ENGAGE OTHERS AMIDST CONFLICTS WITH A BETTER WAY Engage . Engage! ENGAGE! reaching standard responsiveness cultivating competitive responsiveness creating transformative responsiveness Engage! Affirm their unchosen needs . Your responsiveness to affirming unchosen needs Your turn. Consider one or more of these options to respond to this need-responsive content. Check our Engaging Forum to FOLLOW discussions on this post and others. JOIN us as a site member to interact others and create your forum comments. Explore similar content by clicking on the tags below. Find similar content under this engage category. Share this content with others on social media. Share the link to share the love. Check out recent posts of interest to you. Add a rating to let others know how much of a good read this was for you. Write a comment to give others an independent perspective on this content. Recommend this on Facebook. Introduce anankelogy to your social media contacts. Lastly, support us in building this new love-nurturing alternative to our hate-enabling institutions. You can help us spread some love. back-to-top

What in the world is anankelogy , and why should I care? All the social sciences seek answers to serve our many needs. Anankelogy is a new social science, to understand the needs themselves. Anankelogy recognizes how a core need—like water, friendship or solitude—exist as an objective fact. We subjectively experience them after  the objective fact of independently requiring it to function. That means each core need can be empirically observed, much the way we use empirical measures in the other social sciences. And it means we can apply the discipline of science to address our many problems. Which do you find preferable? Our current social sciences sufficiently finds answers for our needs. OR Create a social science that understands the needs themselves. Need some answers to your stubborn problems? All the social sciences seek answers to our many needs. Anankelogy  is the new social science for understanding the needs themselves.   Just as Émile Durkheim help validate sociology by identifying social facts   a s empirical phenomena , anankelogy identifies each core need as an objective fact . You subjectively experience your needs only after the objective fact of your body requiring something to objectively function. This opens our needs to empirical observation and scientific inquiry . And can clear up a lot of problems! Learn more from my book You NEED This, introducing anankelogy, the study of need . Available on Amazon . As an eBook or paperback. Or go to Anankelogy Foundation .org #short version academic anankelogy applied anankelogy accessible anankelogy Your responsiveness to this brief introduction to anankelogy Your turn. Consider one or more of these options to respond to this need-responsive content. Check our Engaging Forum to FOLLOW discussions on this post and others. JOIN us as a site member to interact with others and to create your own forum comments. Explore similar content by clicking on the tags below. Find similar content under this anankelogy category. Share this content with others on social media. Share the link to share the love. Check out recent posts of interest to you. Add a rating below to let others know how much of a good read this was for you. Write a comment below to give others an independent perspective on this content. Recommend this on Facebook. Introduce anankelogy to your social media contacts. Lastly, support us in building this new love-nurturing alternative to our hate-enabling institutions. You can help us spread some love. back-to-top

“Love is the answer” they promised us back in the 1960s. What happened to that inspiring vision? Has our love —our honor for others as we would have them honor us—grown hopelessly cold? Is there still room to revitalize our potential to “love thy neighbor”? Listen to this speech and read its text to spark enduring hope that, yes, we shall love. Which makes the most sense to you? The ideal of loving one another is mere aspiration, yet we must remain pragmatic. OR Love is the chief immovable standard for guiding our responsiveness to each other. C onsider this a call to return to our moral bearings, to once again put love for one another ahead of differing beliefs, differing ideologies, differing priorities. If there is any hope to turn society around from its many types of problems , it's the power of love to inspire us to respond more effectively to the many underserved needs fueling our problems. Although this speech flows in one continuous presentation, it can be orgnized into the following segments. Elusive Golden Rule 0:01 Give love to attract love 1:23 Channel love from being loved 2:27 Let love melt each other’s pain 3:57 Distinguish between resolving needs and relieving pain 5:11 Distinguish between staying open and staying closed 6:48 Distinguish between unchosen needs and chosen responses 8:35 Recognize how anyone can love 1 0:45 You shall love! 12:30 NOTE: This was first posted on 2024-03-10 as a preliminary video. A more visually engaging version is still in development. But I wanted to have it up right away. Until then, I will let this rousing text speak for itself. 1. Elusive Golden Rule Imagine a world where no one lives by the Golden Rule . No one reciprocates kindness or generosity or empathy . Instead, everyone strives only for their own self-interests. Everyone mostly ignores the needs of others around them. Everyone suffers some harm from this, and does little to alleviate such harm in others. Worst, almost everyone accepts this as normal. How far are we from this already?   We’re in the midst of a global   epidemic of loneliness . Do you have anyone you can call upon right now if you find yourself in an emotional crisis? Who are you going to call? Are you only surrounded by people all day who don’t accurately know you, nor do you know them? We all crave social connection. While in a sea of countless people, we’re all drowning of thirst.   Who here doesn’t feel lonely at times? Who among us doesn’t feel lonely most of the time? These are fortunate compared to those of us who suffer loneliness all of the time. Is that you? 2. Give love to attract love Here’s the key to break the chains of despairing loneliness: Find a way to break the chains of loneliness in someone else in need. Someone who needs a warm smile. Someone who simply could use a kind hug. Someone who needs to know that they actually do matter. Is that you?   Here is love: To honor their needs as your healthiest self would have them honor your similar needs. Give others opportunity to know what you need by first serving the needs of others. Start small, planting seeds of kindness that potentially takes root in someone, and then can grow into something much deeper.   Smile more at others, and you will receive more smiles. Offer appropriate hugs to others, and you will receive more hugs. Let others know how much they matter to you, and others will affirm you more. 3. Channel love from being loved You shall love , and then you receive love. The more you step outside of yourself to serve the needs of others, the more others begin to step outside of their shell to do something for your needs. The more you love, the more you will be loved.   Maybe you find it impossible to muster up the means to give such service first. Maybe your potential for love requires some kind of kickstart. Maybe you crave a spark of love from somewhere, to light up your pilot of a flickering flame of delicate love.   I found that spark of love which I craved after crying out to God—whom I wasn’t even sure existed—that if you are the creator and ultimate source of love, please bring some of that into me. Immediately after that cry, that blind trust, I found myself overcome with a powerful wave of deeply meaningful love. Tears of joy ran down my cheek. That moment became the turning point in my life. My emotional tank filled up enough to be more giving. I started to smile more often as I finally found deep reason to smile.   Is that right for you? Maybe not. Where do you go to find love? 4. Let love melt each other’s pain I can tell you as a matter of universal principle, that you find more love the more you are generous and giving to others in need. When you can take a glimpse past your own pain and see the pain in others, and then try something to alleviate that pain. Even if that’s only a caring smile. Or only a warm hug. Or some small assurance that they do indeed matter to you.   You shall give, and then more of what you require shall be given to you. You shall listen more, and then be more fully heard. You shall better understand others, and then others will better understand you.   Or you shall squander your potential for love and meaningful living. And stay trapped in misery. Is that you?   Anankelogy , the new social science for understanding your needs, shows how you can grow your potential for love by making three overlooked distinctions . Each one upends conventional thinking that repeatedly gets us in trouble. 5. Distinguish between resolving needs and relieving pain First : To grow your potential to love one another—to honor their needs as your own—distinguish between  resolving needs  and relieving pain .   The more you ease your pain, the less you respond to the need prompting that pain. Pain is not the problem as much as the threats your pain reports . The more you suppress or ignore your pain, the more those threats persist to cause you more pain later. You then waste more precious energy trying to hold down your natural warning system.   There is no such thing as pain apart from unresolved needs . Sure, sometimes it’s prudent to ease the pressure so you can restore some focus. But the more you react to your pain, the more pain you get . Resolving needs removes cause for pain. Helping or supporting others to resolve their needs removes far more pain than reasoning alone.   Too often, we provoke one another’s pain amidst some conflict. We vainly expect the other side to honor our affected needs while ignoring any negative impact we have on their needs. We provoke mutual defensiveness, which clouds our reasoning. We then rationalize our destructive biases. We diminish our potential for liberating love in the name of self-interest. 6. Distinguish between staying open and staying closed Second : To grow your potential to love one another—to honor their needs as your own—distinguish between  open mutuality  and guarded adversarialism amidst conflict .   The more defensive you get, the more likely you provoke the other side’s defensiveness. The more you resist their unchosen needs, the more compelled they are to dig in their heels. Whatever you reactively resist you tend to reflexively reinforce . You then easily get more of what you claim to oppose, and find this comfortingly familiar. You can then easily blame others for the pain you originally cause.   Or you can absorb the displeasure when feeling confronted. You don’t have to agree that you’re totally wrong as you allow these critics to illuminate your blind spots. You can skip the debate the more you vulnerably relate to the deeper points they try to make. You model how they best respond to your critiques of their position. You can do this by following the simple format of the praise sandwich. Your first affirm their unchosen needs, a positive. You then kindly report how they impact your needs, which is the unpleasant negative sandwiched between two positives. You finally clarify how they can respect your needs as you indicate how you aim to continue to respect their needs. You turn the challenge of a conflict into an opportunity for mutual support and interpersonal and personal growth. 7. Distinguish between unchosen needs and chosen responses Third : To grow your potential to love one another—to honor their needs as your own—distinguish between  unchosen needs  and chosen responses .   The more you expect others to change what their lives require to fit what you prefer, the more you alienate yourself from reality. Anankelogy recognizes natural needs—like water and meaningful friendship and personal freedom—as objective facts. As unchosen needs. You don't choose your needs; your needs choose you . These exist prior to your awareness of them, before you feel them, ahead of any chosen response to them. The less such needs resolve, the less you objectively can function.   While no one sits above the law, no law sits above these unchosen natural needs . Your innate need to breathe oxygen is above the law. Your innate need for social connection is above the law. Your innate need to freely do things for yourself exists above the law. No law nor authority can change such needs. Laws or policies don’t resolve needs, we do .   We cannot fully resolve our needs if relying solely upon impersonal laws and unwritten norms. As general standards for general situations, it is against the grain of law to fully resolve specific needs . We cannot solve our specific problems from the level of generalizing that created them . We cannot live up to our full potential for love while too alienated from each other to relate honestly toward each other’s overlooked specific needs. 8. Recognize how anyone can love Need-response  exists to grow your potential for honoring each other’s needs as your own. But anyone can cultivate this potential. Anyone can take initiative to resolve more needs in each other. Anyone can love. It doesn’t require intellect as much as responsiveness. Just about everyone can be more responsive to each other’s needs.   Nobody can deny love  as the highest standard for how we treat each other. The more you rely on the minimal standards of the law, the less you honor the needs of others. The less you honor the needs of others, the less others will likely honor your needs beyond minimal standards. The more you honor the needs of others, the more inclined others of any level of capacity will more likely honor your needs. And go beyond requirements of law.   Nobody is smart enough to know exactly what everyone needs at each moment. Almost anyone can ask. Almost anyone can try to offer something others may need. Almost anyone can humbly learn from each other.   We can resolve only so much of our needs solely on our own without any help. We can resolve far more needs with support from each other. We can resolve almost every need with the power of love . Or we shall continue to sink deeper into this agonizing abyss of despair from our normalized lack of love . 9. You shall love! You shall love , or you shall suffer. You shall honor the unchosen needs of others as your healthiest self would have them honor your unchosen needs. Or you shall most certainly provoke the demise of each other. You shall love , or you shall die.   It’s now your time. Not to entertain false expectations of what others cannot change about their needs. It ’s now your time. Not to indulge in outrage when things don’t go your way. It’s now your time. Not to insist upon social reforms or better policies or social change, but to respond more personably to what we specifically need of each other. It ’s now your time, not to further any hate but to spread love .   Not when you can find the time, not when it’s convenient for you, not waiting for others to give to you first. But in this very moment, when opportunity still exists to honor others as you would have them honor you. You SHALL love . Now! Your responsiveness to this inspiring call to love, love, love Your turn. Consider one or more of these options to respond to this need-responsive content. Check our Engaging Forum to FOLLOW discussions on this post and others. JOIN us as a site member to interact others and create your forum comments. Explore similar content by clicking on the tags below. Find similar content under this engage category. Share this content with others on social media. Share the link to share the love. Check out recent posts of interest to you. Add a rating to let others know how much of a good read this was for you. Write a comment to give others an independent perspective on this content. Recommend this on Facebook. Introduce anankelogy to your social media contacts. Lastly, support us in building this new love-nurturing alternative to our hate-enabling institutions. You can help us spread some love. back-to-top